Kindness is a virtue in every religion. But for a decade, I’ve been chased by a single, unsettling act of kindness. It returns whenever I see a remote train station at sunset, or a quiet backyard touched by green. Sometimes, even in a glimpse of flowers laid on stone.
It began during a month-long training in the Netherlands in June 2015.
Days were spent in Hilversum; my nights, in the sleepy town of Bussum.
The journey from Kolkata to Amsterdam had blurred into airport queues and cross-continent menus. All I craved was rest. Bussum seemed to offer it.
The town was near empty when I arrived—just a few locals cycling away from the platform. I followed an early-arrival email and made my way to a small hotel tucked into a quiet street. A kind young man named Erick checked me in.
My room was on the second floor, at the back. It was hot, and I was drained. After a light dinner, I collapsed into sleep.
Then came the noise.
A low, grinding sound—like stone dragged against stone. Dull but insistent.
It came from just below my window. My water bottle was empty. The sound, unrelenting.
I got up and drew the curtain. My room overlooked a moonlit field. A quick check on my phone confirmed what my gut had already whispered: it was the Bussum graveyard.
I couldn’t stay in the room. I slipped into the hallway, mind spiralling.
Then I saw her.
A woman in a white uniform stood at the far end, carrying folded linen. She appeared just when I needed her — arms full of linen, and something like calm. She walked toward me with a curious smile.
“Hi, what happened?” she asked.
Too shaken for pleasantries, I got to the point. “There’s a noise from the backyard. I can’t sleep.”
“Oh, is there? Let me see.”
She stepped into the room and looked out the window with an odd indifference. Then she quietly closed the blinds and adjusted the air conditioning. The noise stopped instantly.
As if she had flipped a switch.
She placed a bottle of water on the table and turned to leave. “Everyone will be sleeping now,” she said. “You should try to as well.”
Kind lady, I murmured.
The next morning, I went to the reception. “The laundry shouldn’t make that much noise at night,” I said, describing the sound and the woman.
Erick looked puzzled. “The laundry shuts down by 4 p.m. And there’s no machine that could make such a noise, let alone carry a bottle to your room.” He hesitated. “We don’t have night staff. No janitor. No night housekeeping.”
I didn’t trust Erick a hundred percent. So, I checked.
Went to the kitchen, laundry, housekeeping corner—she wasn’t there. Wasn’t anywhere.
A housekeeping roster hung on the wall. I stared at it for a long time.
Erick was right.
I stayed for three weeks but asked for a room at the front. The noise of the road was better than that sound from the graveyard.
But it’s not the grinding or the cemetery that keeps returning.
It’s her.
Even now, when I pass a tiny station with a green patch beside it, the same question returns—Who was she?
Someone who took pity on a weary traveller in the middle of a ritual not meant for me?
Did she silence the stones… just for me?
I never found answers in Bussum. I don’t have them now.
But when the memory returns, I still see her—curious smile, arms full of white linen—like someone quietly closing a door so you can sleep.
A kindness that stayed.
A kindness that chases.
Photographs of Bussum taken in 2015 by Pijus Ash
Pijus Ash, a Kolkata-based journalist and writer, publishes in Space Ink, Newsclick, and more. He enjoys grayscale photography and listens closely to silence when away from the page.
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Sujay Bose happened to read my poems somewhere online.
He asked, “Why do you often write about death? Why don’t you write about wandering among the clouds And things like that -- beautiful things?”
I was least offended. I replied, “Only upon death can I wander among clouds\ … Beautiful clouds, if you prefer. In death you can choose the clouds. They’d be so near.”
In a week’s time, I heard of Sujay Bose’s demise. I searched for Sujay sitting in my terrace With hot tea in hand, served in steel tumbler. The spongy white clouds look beautiful Moving in the train of time.
Saranyan BV is poet and short-story writer, now based out of Bangalore. He came into the realm of literature by mistake, but he loves being there. His works have been published in many Indian and Asian journals. He loves the works of Raymond Carver.
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Jani Jani Priyo, Ea Jebone (I know my dear one, in this life) by Nazrul has been translated from Bengali by Professor Fakrul Alam
Art by Sohana Manzoor
I know, know very well my dear one, No desire of mine will ever be fulfilled In my lifetime. Like a water-lily, I’ll shed In a watery grave. Moon-like, from above You’ll shed tears. Between us, my bride, Forever will blow a wind of parting. Forever, You’ll be heaving deep sighs. I won’t get to hold Or grip you close to the heart. And yet, The moon keeps slandering the lotus. Far away That you are, how does honey still gush from you? Stay within my reach, dear night moon of mine, Though so out of my grip and so untouchable! My empty heart cries out with desert-thirst. Everyone says I’m the one you love. And yet, By your providing balm to that shameful act My anguish at parting has become sweet tasting!
A rendition of Nazrul’s love song by Feroza Begum (1930-2014) in original Bengali
Born in united Bengal, long before the Partition, Kazi Nazrul Islam(1899-1976) was known as the Bidrohi Kobi, or “rebel poet”. Nazrul is now regarded as the national poet of Bangladesh though he continues a revered name in the Indian subcontinent. In addition to his prose and poetry, Nazrul wrote about 4000 songs.
I bow to you, King. I bear the torment of your sadness in the embrace of my sleep. May it transform into glad tidings for the days of your people. This exploration is to find your throne, which has disappeared from our hearts. For my love to you, King.
JASMINES
Earth jasmines, sky jasmines, a string of jasmines encircles the heart, jasmines poured with water from the hills, jasmines sprinkled by a pinch of compost. Seven rivers, seven clouds— rain pelts onto forlorn petals. Beauty is in the form, beauty to the eyes, beauty is the hand that tends to the soil, beauty is the fingers that caress the leaves, beauty is the cut on the arms of the gardener. The scorching sun, the shade from the foliage, bountiful is the soul of the tree that delivers, witness to a life devoted to hard work, with the laws of nature as the axis. Strong roots clench the earth, shoots look up high to the sky. Stand firmly, the soul sings. Blossoms waft fragrant dreams. Earth jasmines, sky jasmines, bloom in the early morning. Say your prayers, introduce yourself.
BETEL LEAVES
To be at the top is to function at the bottom, upholding responsibilities and trust, strengthening shared roots. The fragile branches are free to stretch, the green leaves spread wide. Wild betel, untouched betel, covers the soil, climbs the trellis. To be at the peak in essence is to grow shoots, carrying fertile hopes and dreams, giving way and space to grow, to climb each posting energetically, to qualify for the position when seasons change. Lofty betels, heavenly betels, reach for the stars, greet the clouds. To be in the ceremonial receptacle in essence is to uphold tradition, surrendering to the preservation of culture. Typically chewed with lime, slicing problems, mature-red in speech, tracing the lives of roots and shoots. Wild betel, untouched betel, lofty betel, heavenly betel, courtship betel, customary betel, weaving values and the essence of leadership entrenched in tradition.
HOME
Free souls wouldn’t be easily bored by mentoring and demands, for it’s the stable self that gives rise to liberation. And that’s called freedom — it isn't about release without aims, just like city folks, released from home or work, wander aimlessly at shopping malls, seek excitement from novelty and transience. It isn't that Life doesn’t require variety, or it isn't that the soul doesn’t long for fun. It’s just that we who claim to be free are easily entrapped in useless pettiness that we spread in the city without ever realising that we haven’t returned to the doors of our hearts, although we’ve stepped afoot onto the compound of the house.
Isa Kamari : A foremost Malay writer from Singapore: Photo provided by the poet.
Isa Kamari has written 12 novels, 3 collections of poetry, a collection of short stories, a book of essays on Singapore Malay poetry, a collection of theatre scripts and lyrics of 3 music albums, all in Malay. His novels have been translated into English, Turkish, Urdu, Arabic, Indonesian, Jawi, Russian, French, Spanish, Korean, Azerbaijan and Mandarin. Several of his essays and selected poems have been translated into English. Isa was conferred the S.E.A Write Award from Thailand (2006), the Singapore Cultural Medallion (2007), the Anugerah Tun Seri Lanang (2009) from the Singapore Malay Language Council, and the Mastera Literary Award (2018) from Brunei Darussalam.
He obtained a BArch (Hons) from the National University of Singapore in 1989, an MPhil (Malay Letters) from Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia in 2008 and is currently pursuing a PhD programme at the Academy of Islamic Studies, Univeristi Malaya. His area of research is on the problem of alienation and the practice of firasat (spiritual intuition) in selected Singapore Malay novels.
The Lost Mantras is a collection that blends spirituality, Malay cultural heritage, and universal human experience. First published as part of Menyap Cinta (Love Greetings, 2022, Nuha Books KL), these poems are like a bridge between mysticism and everyday life, where traditional images (betel, jasmine, kris[1], oil lamps, setanjak[2]) are woven with Qur’anic echoes, prayers, and existential questioning. The collection carries a Sufi resonance—always circling back to longing, humility, surrender, and beauty as signs of God. The poems are not only lyrical but also function as cultural memory: they preserve Malay traditions, communal practices, and village life, while situating them in a cosmic framework of faith, sin, and redemption. The use of Malay customs, rituals, and objects is powerful: it asserts that spirituality is not abstract but embedded in heritage. This makes the collection uniquely Southeast Asian while still universal in appeal
In the market several ‘instantly get rich’ books are available. And of course, these are available in all languages as well. But the twist in the tale is that the author might not have followed the advice s/he dispenses through their writings. Samuel Langhorne Clemens, who is popular through his pen name as ‘Mark Twain’, is an example in context.
Every English fiction reader worth his name would have read Mark Twain’s TheAdventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures ofHuckleberry Finn. Twain is one of those rare writers who achieved success and fame during his lifetime through his writings. He earned a substantial amount of money from his works.
Twain is also famous for quotes and predictions. He made two accurate predictions. The most popular one was about his death. Twain was born in the year 1835 CE when Halley’s Comet made its appearance. Twain wrote in 1909 CE that he was born when Halley’s comet appeared in 1835 CE and when it would appear next (i.e., in the year 1910 CE), it would be a great disappointment if they both didn’t go out together. True to his words, Twain died of heart attack shortly after Halley’s comet’s closest approach to the Sun.
Perhaps a lesser-known prediction is in Twain’s quote, “Buy land, they are not making it anymore”. Yet Twain rarely invested in land. His favourite investment was science and technology. During his lifetime, Twain is reported to have unwisely invested about US$300,000 (present-day valued at approx. US$8 million) in failed technologies. All this in a span of about 14 years which not only speaks volumes about his loss but also about Twain’s earning’s through writings. Added to this, Twain’s children’s poor health put him in financial difficulties. He is said to have even filed for bankruptcy. Nevertheless, at the time of his death, Twain owned an estate valued at US$471,000 (present-day value about US$11 million). Ironically, Twain’s family fizzled out either to disease or to alcoholism and pills.
On the other hand, a lesser-known individual who’s a contemporary of Twain, a Mr. Friedrich Trump, a German emigrant to United States of America, invested heavily in land, real estate, hotels and brothels. By 1904 CE, Trump is said to have visited his home country Germany upon insistence of his wife whence he is believed to have deposited an amount in the excess of US$600,000 into a bank.
Trump invested in land heavily in America. Owing to his German credentials, Trump maintained a low-profile during world war I. However, due to flu and secondaries, Trump died in the year 1918 CE. Trump’s wife and his son continued the real estate projects after Trump’s death. Trump’s legacy lives in the form of present-day American President Donald Trump who happens to be Friedrich’s grandson.
Note. It is not known to the present author whether Friedrich knew about Twain’s predictions.
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Chetan Datta Poduri is a doctorate in Biotechnology. After about a decade of teaching in premier institutes across India, Chetan turned to full-time Writing. Also, presently Chetan self-finances his research. More about him at https://cdpoduri.wordpress.com/
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A discussion on writing to heal with Swati Pal, author of Forever Young and In Absentia, both brought out by Hawakal Publishers.
Swati Pal Swati Pal’s latest collection of poems
Strength is a badge Worn by the bereaved.
(The badge of the bereaved)
Swati Pal is an accomplished academic, an able administrator, a much-loved teacher. But most of all she is a resilient mother. Her poetry glows with resilience. It’s honest and endearing… perhaps best described by these lines from John Keats’ ‘Ode to a Grecian Urn’: “Beauty is truth, truth beauty — that is all”. She writes poetry for her late son that makes one weep and feel with her.
If you hear a laugh Wafting in the breeze And floating around, Know that it's me, Your Diva, Mohan.
(Mohan whispered to me)
She finds him everywhere… he lives on for her.
I can still get The scent Of you, Feel your tousled Silky hair And see it Flying in the breeze.
(A Flower Called You)
What is amazing is that she responded to her loss with a sisterhood, creating a group of poets from grieving women. She brought out with her sisters an anthology on loss, Living On (2022).
Anthology edited by Swati Pal and brought out by Hawakal Publishers
Overriding grief with love and action is tough. But that is something that seems to be woven into her earlier poems in In Absentia (2021) and in her most recent collection, which seems more stark, Forever Yours and Other Poems. As Professor Malashri Lal points out, they “resonate beyond her individual story”. Her poems capture the vastness of the universe with their love and longing. One doesn’t know whether to weep or wonder at the beauty that seems to emerge out of the poems — like a flower that blooms unfolding petal by petal. In this conversation, Swati Pal dwells on her journey of resilience and strength through writing.
When did you start writing poetry? What got/gets your muse going?
I was an oversensitive, expressive kid and teenager and went through the classic angst about life that such humans are prone to, I guess! I was complicated and tended to brood about everything with bouts of melancholia, most really genuine, but some a bit because at that age, it appeared to be most ‘romantic’! So writing was something that I turned to almost naturally and then to poetry by instinct. I used to read a lot of poetry actually and somehow was always captivated by the craft– the rhyme or the rhythm, the play with ideas and images, the words few yet saying so much; it was as if an entire universe existed in the poetic world. And I found the form beautiful, exacting and creative.
It helped too when Jayanta Mahapatra would select poems to be published in the Sunday magazine edition of The Telegraph, and he selected one that I dared to send! My vanity/pride was certainly boosted by what I considered a singular honour and the cheque for a small sum of perhaps 150 rupees (I forget the exact amount) was exciting to say the least– my first earning!
It was then the ideal way to deal with my own inner mess. If my morale was low(‘I am not beautiful’; ‘I can’t do this/ that/ or the other’; ‘So and so is better than me, I can never match up; ‘ Why can’t I have this/that or the other?’) and I was plagued by misery, I would write poetry; sometimes scathing stuff about people and life in scurrilous verse; sometimes light and hopeful like the dappled sunlight playing on the window sill to take my mind away from the negativity and escape into mostly the world of nature.
So poetry, even if it didn’t ever heal me or resolve my doubts and inner conflicts, calmed me. It kept me sane. It kept me rooted. So really, what has always got my Muse going is anything that moves me to tears – not necessarily about myself at all times but even a limping bleeding dog on the road, or a woman in rags and mentally unsound tearing her hair and crying; a leper sitting on the pavement completed dejected with life; pain, grief, loss — whether my own or anyone else’s, keeps my muse going.
Losing loved ones is tough. You dealt with poetry about your losses. How did you channelise your grief into writing?
As I said, I have always done so. Anything I found a hurdle, anything that caused me to be moved, anything that hurt my emotions or disturbed my peace, made me seek a companion — one I could pour my heart to. And seek I did! But misery, as they say has no bedfellows. Those I would vent to would get exhausted if the frequency of my exhortations became excessive (which they might have been). I think my emotional outbursts were fairly overpowering and sometimes the best of my friends and family would evade my searching them out, justifiably! But poetry. She never failed me. She was someone I could turn to in the dead of the night or the wee hours of the morning. She would let me rave and rant hysterically or in a fit of rage and tears and then equally quietly, let me rewrite when I was calmer, without remonstrations.
I lost my father when I was eighteen and it was terribly unfair as I had bided my time (the youngest of four siblings) to finally find my exclusive space in his dominion when poof! he was gone. And I was left feeling unanchored as suddenly everything became topsy turvy. That was the time I took to playing the clown at home, my mask ever in place, speaking ridiculous stuff and acting hilariously hoping that my behaviour could dispel the clouds of gloom that hung low over my home for a good many years after he died. And the more I played the clown, the more I longed to break free and scream out my rage and regret, my hurt at the void left by my father’s passing. In despair I turned to poetry and realised that working on making something beautiful, creating a pattern and a tempo with words, would somehow soothe my raging breast. It would stop me from being unhinged.
Since 2019, I when I lost my son, I lost sleep. And when I lie quietly on one side of the bed so that I don’t disturb my husband with my restlessness, I find myself turning to write poetry (on my mobile phone!) to keep me from holding my breath forever.
How did you form a sisterhood of women while dealing with your losses?
The sisterhood found me! I wanted to run away from everyone! To begin with, my sisters especially the eldest and the third, would come home every single evening those first few excruciating months when the loss made my life seem surreal and my physical self something I wanted to cast off. They would just sit with me; have a cup of tea and a snack they would bring along and chatter gently about the day. If I wept or screamed, they let me, clutching my hand tightly and saying things I shunned but which they spoke anyway. And in this way, through sundry humdrum things, they made the pain, the monumental grief, part of my every day. It is my three elder sisters who first helped me cross the bridge from being a mother with a living son to a mother of an angel with wings. There were others too, some friends since school days, a young sister-in-law, a niece, a young woman who is all but a biological daughter – whose companionship, whose concern in those early days, which soon timed with the Covid isolation, kept me afloat and were a balm to my soul.
And then one day a determined petite young lady was at my doorstep with food and her husband. She had heard about me from a relative, talked to me over the phone and tried to get me to agree to meet her and the support group of grieving mothers which I completely rejected as who on living earth ever wants to join such a group? But she was Radha– and my son is called lovingly, Mohan — and it had to be a Radha who would make me a part of In our hearts forever — a community of sisters and soulmates that are now an integral part of my life.
How can I forget my college students? The young girls with their starry eyes, sometimes brimming with tears when I mention Mohan, hugging me and making me smile with their crazy ways, their unbridled energy, their spontaneous affection — they were step sisters according to Mohan (he always complained that I loved his ‘stepsisters’ more as I spent more time with them!). This was and is a precious sisterhood. A special one.
This is only part of the reality. Lest it not be understood that the world is full of kind people and it is easy to form sisterhoods, I must hasten to add that I actually found, that some of those communities which I thought would form a sisterhood and be my support, turned out to be vicious, toxic and utterly cruel to me — they struck their blows of hatred and malice at a time when I was at my most vulnerable. I now know that I was such a naïve idealistic fool in my expectations! And finally, there were some men too who enabled me, two in particular and it would be so wrong to leave them out of my circle of hand holders.
What led to your anthology, Living On? Tell us a bit about the anthology.
It was Covid time and all my soulmates in the support group as well as myself were feeling desperate trapped withing the confines of our houses with our grief as our only companion. I could feel us all struggling. I suggested we do something to beat the blues and we would meet online with one person taking the lead to share something and make us do something together in a novel way.
I saw the blues being banished, at least for that time when were online. That made me feel I need to do more. That all my sister grief travellers needed to express their grief and shared the same wish as me: to make our child remembered. We were living on without our children, but our heart was nothing save a bleeding wound.
My first collection of poems had been In Absentia and obviously as the name suggests, it was about absence. It was about my Mohan. I knew now that I had to write about how I was living with that absence. I invited the support group members and others outside it who were also suffering from the grief of other losses such as parent/s to write if they wished. I wrote too. And thus, was created Living on — a chance for us to immortalise our loved one, as best as we could. I can only invite all to read it. It has photographs too of the lost ones. It is a truly moving book of recollection, a book of love. Those who wrote said that when they got the books in their hands, they were initially almost unnerved to see the words and pictures jumping out of the page. That they felt a great sense of achievement but also emotionally drained. All this was only to be expected. But it made us stronger, I think.
Has poetry drawn you closer to your sisters in grief?
Yes. They feel I speak for all of us. I know that I do.
How does writing help you cope with your loss?
It stops me from crossing that thin line between sanity and insanity, it gives meaning, at least for a while to my life which seems mostly irrelevant to me now.
You use lot of imagery from nature. It almost feels that you live with the loss all the time. And yet there is a sense of solace in your poems. Would you like to comment on that?
I breathe the pain and loss. It is not forgotten for a single second. Everything in nature reminds me of my son as we spent so much time together, including outdoors. The scent of the flowers in the breeze when we walked at night, the grass on the hockey field where I would time him as he prepped for the 100 meters race which he specialised in, the sound of the birds who Mohan was a bit wary of having been pecked a few times by the eagles and crows.
At first, Nature in fact hurt me as I could not renew myself the way nature does. I would be anguished and did not want to see the flowers blossoming or the squirrels running off the trees for food. But then I learnt that butterflies flitting around the house were a symbol of loved ones who had gone too soon and I began to look out for them. I learnt that feathers, especially pure white ones, were also a sign that our loved ones were hovering around. And that the rain falling on our faces is our loved ones communicating with us, crying with us. Nature does not provide me solace; nothing can and nothing will. But yes, I seek Mohan in nature.
You are a well-known academic and a principal of a college in Delhi University. Does that help in your writerly journey and to build your resilience? Please elaborate.
Well, it certainly makes me more resilient! The experiences I go through even when I battle so many things, do enable resilience, I guess. Writerly journey? I can’t say, I think everything that touches our life shapes the way we think and respond. Including the profession we have. And it is bound to enter into all our communications, including writing.
Would you have turned to poetry if you did not face losses in your life?
Yes, I love it as a form. It stirs me.
Do you plan to experiment with other genres?
Yes, I have already started with short story writing. And within poetry too, I have experimented with modes– trying my hand at Haiku and the tanka.
Do you have any advice for people dealing with loss and looking for resilience?
Clean a cupboard. Seek out people– the more they run away, chase them harder and insist that they cannot leave you alone, that you need them. In other words, do things that bring beauty even through simple acts (writing poetry is just one of the many alternatives; you could equally, scrub the floors!)
People your life. Don’t wait for it to be peopled. Be noisy, without any shame in demanding attention– sometimes people assume you might want to be left alone — let them know that you don’t want the aloneness, that you don’t want to further lose your identity (loss does that you know. When I lost my son, I felt, and still do, that I no longer have any identity). And I have asked myself this question regularly– do I want my son to recognise me for the woman he left on earth? If so, I must keep that woman as alive as possible, even if it kills me. For what would we not do for a great love? I advise young people to tell themselves this when they deal with loss– it will build resilience if nothing else will.
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(This online interview has been conducted by Mitali Chakravarty)
About the Book: “The deafening silence of a loved one’s absence turns the poet into the eternal Ma enduring separation. Swati Pal’s poetry also straddles the particular to the universal theme of grief and loss and symbolically suggests compassionate ways of healing the pain … Swati Pal’s Forever Yours and Other Poems holds ajar that mysterious door to the panorama of a mother’s love, loss, grief and hope. Her poems will resonate beyond her individual story.” — Prof. Malashri Lal (Former Head, Dept of English, University of Delhi)
About the Author: Swati Pal, Professor and Principal, Janki Devi Memorial College, University of Delhi, is a Fulbright-Nehru fellowship scholar, a Charles Wallace scholar and the first Asian scholar to receive the John McGrath Theatre Studies Scholarship at Edinburgh University. Author of several books on theatre, creative and academic writing, her newspaper articles articulate her views on education. Her areas of research interest include performance studies and cultural history. She translates from Hindi to English and several of her translations have been published. She writes poetry and her poems appear in several anthologies; she also has two collections entitled In Absentia and Forever yours and a curated collection called Living On. She is the Vice Chair of the Indian Association for Commonwealth Literature and Language Studies and has been the recipient of several national and international awards, both as a teacher as well as an administrator.
Sisters and friends and the author with horses, Whisky and Macka, outside Grandma’s house, in 1972. Photo Courtesy: Judith Stephens.
December 1972, Adelaide
I opened the fridge, pulled out some carrots and put them into the back pocket of my jeans. Then I headed into the backyard shed to retrieve my saddle and bridle. I slung the saddle over the handlebars of my bicycle and placed the bridle in the basket. Then I cycled to the first gateway to the riverbank. I left the bicycle by the fence and walked up the riverbank to find my bay steed, Macka. I couldn’t see him. Then I returned to my bike and cycled to the next entrance to the riverbank and looked for him. Still no Macka. When I entered the third entrance, I spotted him grazing by the river. I pulled out a carrot from my back pocket and held it out to him on my flattened palm. He pricked his ears, looked at me and headed towards me. He picked the carrot up with his soft lips and started crunching it. I slung the reins over his head, placed the bit in his mouth, and bridled him. Then I led him to a spot by the river where I could take advantage of the slope to stand higher than him and jumped on his back. I could never fatten him up, and his backbone pressed into my rear as I sat on him slightly askew. I regularly fed him chaff, and he grazed all day, but like some people, he remained forever thin. I rode him back to where the bicycle was, saddled him up, and trotted and cantered along the riverbank towards the sea.
This was my daily routine after school. Homework was rarely set, so I hardly ever studied in the evenings. Why would you study when you had already been at school all day? Sometimes my black labrador Jason accompanied me. In those days there were no rules about keeping your dog on a leash, so Jason would follow me, even if this meant swimming behind Macka and me to cross the river.
January 1973, Adelaide
“Meredith!” came the voice from my window at 5 am. It was my best friend, Debbie. Debbie owned a 16-hand piebald heavy horse, taller than her, called Whisky. Debbie knew that without pressure from her I would not rise this early. On this occasion, rather than being on the riverbank, Macka was stationed in the corral that Mum and Dad had built in the backyard.
I rose, dressed, and made my way to the corral to bridle Macka. Then I led him to the front yard where Debbie was waiting for me on Whisky. Today we were riding bareback, because our destination was the beach, and we were going to sit astride our horses as they swam. We headed to the riverbank and rode a kilometre to the mouth of the river. Then we rode across the sand and entered the water. When the horses started swimming, we started floating above them, my legs rising above Macka’s sides. I grabbed his mane so as not to part company with him. Then we turned the horses back towards shallow water. Once Whisky had found his feet, Debbie turned around and stood on his rump. From there she dived into the sea, quickly swam back and mounted him again. I wasn’t confident enough to attempt the same feat on Macka. Next, we headed back to shore and dismounted. We lifted the reins over the horses’ heads and held them while they rolled in the sand, thrashing their legs in the air. Then we jumped back on them, and galloped along the sand, before retracing our steps upriver.
August 2025, Monarto, South Australia
We were visiting the largest open-range safari park outside of Africa, Monarto Safari Park, an hour’s drive from Adelaide. Of all the African animals, I was most looking forward to seeing the giraffes and was excited to find myself a place on the giraffe tour. I took a seat on the bus and listened to the guide’s spiel as we made our way to the giraffe feeding station. The guide provided a bucket of carrot sticks for the tourists to feed to the giraffes.
I dipped my hand into the bucket, retrieved a carrot stick and offered it to the giraffe. He inclined his neck towards me, extended his enormous blue tongue to the carrot, gently took it between his lips, and started crunching it. I stood back in order to give the other tourists a chance to do the same, and a few came forward. In the next interval, I retrieved another carrot stick and offered it to the first giraffe. I stood back again for the other tourists, but few were interested. I ended up giving most of the carrot sticks to the giraffes because no-one else seemed to be as engrossed with this as I was. As soon as the bucket was empty the giraffes lost interest and gently loped away. I realised that the reason I was enjoying this so much was that I was reliving the experience of over fifty years earlier of feeding carrots to Macka.
In the years since the 1970s, although I never lost my love of horses, motherhood and working overseas took precedence over riding. My early years of daily caring for Macka felt like a distant dream. And yet in a distant time and space, I sometimes yearned for a simple life where I could care for large herbivores. I cannot return to 1973, and am unlikely to own a horse again, but at least I could re-experience the thrill of feeding carrots to gentle giant herbivores at Monarto Safari Park.
Feeding giraffes at Monarto Safari Park in 2025. Photo Courtesy: Cathie Noble.
Meredith Stephens is an applied linguist from South Australia. Her recent work has appeared in Syncopation Literary Journal, Continue the Voice, Micking Owl Roost blog, The Font – A Literary Journal for Language Teachers, and Mind, Brain & Education Think Tank. In 2024, her story Safari was chosen as the Editor’s Choice for the June edition of All Your Stories.
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It’s morning -- again. I couldn’t be happier. The birds are harvesting moths. Moths gathered around the night light Young birds are learning. Next, they will visit the feeder. It’s morning -- again. I couldn’t be happier. Black coffee starts every day. The steam, the aroma, the flavour. Familiar, but different every morning. This day is my day! It's morning -- again. I couldn’t be happier. How will I use it? What will I make of this day? What will make this day different, memorable? Words flow; warm sensations surround me. It’s the day I must make. It’s morning again, And I couldn’t be happier! How many more days do I have? Not many – even if I live to be a hundred. Not many, so use them well! I sense my surroundings. I taste my world. Touch the cloth, feel the surface. Enjoy, explore, engage. I control my day. It’s Morning again. And I could not be happier!
Ron Pickett is a retired naval aviator. His 90-plus articles have appeared in various publications. He has published five books: Perfect Crimes – I Got Away With It, Discovering Roots, Getting Published, 60 Odd Short Stories, and Empaths. Ron has had his poems published in Scarlet Leaf, Borderless Journal, and other periodicals.
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Out on my usual morning walk. A lovely June morning, the air fresh, cool, the rising sun obscured by a belt of sleepy, moving cloudlets. The sun’s soft, mellow rays dried the dew on the large, leafy trees and blossoming flowers of Holland Park.
As always, I bent my steps towards my favourite bench where, I could sit alone and quiet, near to the ponds, yet far enough not to hear too many voices. The air smelt fragrant that particular morning. I hastened to start on my adventures with Dickens’ David Copperfield as I turned a sharp bend on the path that took me to the bench and the great, sprawling oak tree that homed the myriad rooks and scurrying squirrels. I halted. A seedy-looking man was slowly sitting up on my bench! I had never found someone occupying my bench before. He was scratching an unshaven face and an uncombed head of black, curly hair.
Snapping out of my astonishment, I boldly went up to him. “Sir, have you been sleeping on this bench?”
Hardly looking at me, he softly replied, “In fact I have, my good man. And I will add, I enjoyed a very quiet and relaxed sleep. Not a soul in the park at two in the morning, not even the squeaking of a squirrel.” He said all this with considerable aplomb.
“Well, I’m very happy to hear that. Of course you shall be leaving soon?”
“Not that soon, I’m afraid. When I sleep out, which is almost always, I arrive here in Holland Park at 2pm. and leave at three in the afternoon, sometimes a bit later.”
I bit my lip. “What do you, eye little girls with bad intent?”
“I should think not — that is very uncouth.”
“ Spit out pieces of your broken luck?”
“Hardly. My luck has remained intact, I’m proud to say.”
“Warm your feet in the sun?”
“They keep very warm in this season, even with my shoes off.”
The bench-sleeper took out a cigarette from a torn shirt pocket, lit it, then smeared his shabby clothes with greasy fingers. “Want a smoke?”
“No thank you, I don’t smoke.”
“May I ask you why you have chosen this particular bench to sleep on?” I resumed, as he puffed away, staring blankly into space. “This is my reading bench, sir. It has been for over two years. I come almost every morning to have a good read before breakfasting at the Duck or Grouse across the road.”
“Ah ! The Duck or Grouse, I know it well. The barmaid is an acquaintance of my wife.”
“You have a wife?”
“Yes, and two children. Does that shock you?” Before I could answer he pointed a slender finger at my book: “A rather dreary read in the morning, no? I mean, why not something more droll like David Lodge or Oscar Wilde?”
“I prefer Dickens if you don’t mind,” I responded, taken aback by the man’s impertinence. The impertinent man yawned, took a bright, red apple from his trouser pocket and began munching on it.
“Sorry to have disrupted your morning reading, old chap, but oftentimes in life we are confronted by unforeseen events or encounters contrary to our habits. The question is: Should we disregard the event or investigate the meaning behind it? Why on this particular morning, on this particular bench have you been confronted by someone who has hindered your daily morning ritual? Is it accidental or providential? Please, sit down.” I did unthinkingly sit down and watched him blow blue smoke rings into the still air. I will admit that I was a bit awed by him.
He went on calmly: “Does my appearance really offend you, cause you any discomfiture? Retard your reading of Dickens, who I must say, I have never really taken a liking to?”
“Oh, so now you insult my choice of reading?” I fumed.
“I meant no insult, sir, only a reminder you that there are morning readings, afternoon readings, evening and night readings. And I’m sorry to inform you that Dickens is not a morning reading, especially David Copperfield.”
“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but if you are to remain seated on this, my bench, then you will be subjected to my perusal of David Copperfield; and whether it pleases you or not will not change my habit of doing so.” My bold affirmation seemed not to disturb the blighter’s rings of smoke that sailed lightly up into the broad leaves of the oak tree.
He wrinkled his nose: “Habits are terrible enemies.”
“Are they?”
“Yes, that’s why I oftentimes change a bench … even a park: St James is lovely with its lake. Richmond, Finsbury and Circus Gardens are very pleasant, too … You see, I despise habits, they instil an implacable rigor mortis.”
I ignored him and frowned: “So, you believe I’m a silly, old dolt because I read David Copperfield every morning on the same bench?”
“Of course not,” he responded quickly, tying the laces of his heelless shoes. “I simply wished to make clear to you on this lovely morning that a stranger has sat on ‘your’ bench, and that you have yet to ask him whether he is a beggar or not!”
The bench-sleeper’s remark put so point blank did indeed pique my curiosity, so I took up his defiance: “Are you not a beggar then?”
“Have I asked for money?” was his snappy reply.
“No … not yet, anyway.”
“Nor will I. So what are your deductions?” He peered at me with a mischievous gleam in his eye.
“That you are not begging for money and that you have given me the occasion to snap my habit by engaging in conversation with you.”
“You have expressed it wonderfully!” he exclaimed.
“In that case, why do you sleep out on park benches, when you said that you have a wife and children, and you have no need of money?”
He shook the dew out of his hair. “Is there anything ambiguous or incongruous about that?” he countered.
“I think there is! I have a wife and a home, and at night I sleep in my home, not on park benches.”
“And children?”
I sat back. “No, in fact we have no children.”
He took out another cigarette. “ So?”
“So what?”
“Oh, nothing. My children often visit me in the parks when not at school, and my wife, when she’s not working.”
“I can’t believe all this!” I stuttered.
“Why not ? Have you something against a gesture so innocent, so insignificant than a man who sleeps on park benches, who is visited by his dear family, when, in fact, he could sleep in a lovely, soft bed next to his charming wife? Let us say that park benches have become my second residence.”
I gasped at that last remark mentioned so candidly. I changed the subject: “Tell me then, what do you do until two or three o’clock on this bench? You have no book to read.”
He chuckled. “My book lies outside written pages. My readings are people whom I observe, the flowers that I smell, the singing birds or gambolling squirrels that I hear. The conversations I have with many a good person, like yourself. I do read books — just the other day I found a copy of Lawrence’s The Rainbow in the trash bin. Can you imagine someone throwing away a classic of that sort?”
“Yes, that is a crime. So your days seem to pass by splendidly, a full agenda, if I may say so without irony.”
“You may say exactly that, my good man.” He stretched his limbs, took another cigarette and smoked dreamily, peering into the thick leafy foliage of the oak tree. Songbirds had been accompanying his well-stated sentences for some time now; they seemed to punctuate them, rhythmically. The manner in which he smoked his cigarette mystified me. There was a touch of delicacy, elegance, even refinement in his gestures. His speech, too, prompted me to think that he was no ordinary tramp.
He pointed to the sun: “When did you say you breakfast at the Duck or Grouse?”
“At ten o’clock.”
“Judging by the sun, it must be very close to ten.”
I glanced at my watch. “How right you are!” I said, stunned by the accurate time-telling of this unusual man.
“I’m afraid I have prevented you from reading one sentence of Dickens.”
“No bother ; I have many mornings to do so … unless …”
“Unless you find me lying or seated here every day ? Not to worry; as I said, I change benches and parks quite regularly. But who knows, we may meet again in different circumstances.” And he smiled while his eyes shone a roguishness that confounded me.
“Right!” I returned. “Perhaps we shall meet again.” I stood up to leave.
“Bon appetit,” he called out as I wended my way to the front gate.
Finishing my breakfast, I hurried home eager to share that odd encounter with my wife, at that moment busy with her morning gardening. “You’ll never know how I spent my morning, dear.”
“Reading your book, I suppose, as you always do,” my wife replied tritely without looking up, pulling out the weeds from the borders of coneflowers, forget-me-nots, asters and chrysanthemums below the bay window of our newly bought duplex.
“Not at all,” I responded. “I had a very strange conversation with a man who sleeps on park benches every night, and sits on them until three in the afternoon.”
She stood and eyed me strangely. “Talking to beggars, hey? How much did he wrest from you?”
“He wasn’t a beggar Helen. He simply sleeps and sits on park benches. In fact, he had a refined way of smoking his cigarette. Very well-spoken, too.”
She continued to stare at me without a word. “He even has a wife and children who visit him in the parks.”
“Does he ? Well I’ll be damned if he wasn’t putting you on, Marvin. Do you think I’d visit you in a park, sleeping on a bloody bench?” I smiled weakly. “He’s a smooth talker, that one is. Be careful, he might put ideas in your head, ”she concluded and attended to her peonies and snapdragons.
I felt odd and asked, “How about a restaurant tonight, dear? I’ve had a handsome pay rise, you know. Let’s dine at the Galvin La Chapelle.”
Helen jumped up like a Jack-out- of-the-Box. “Are you mad? I think that beggar or bench-sleeper got the better of you. The Galvin La Chapelle is the most expensive restaurant in London … eighty or ninety quid a menu!”
“Yes, I know. But I really feel like having a wonderful meal. After all, it’s only money…”
My wife went back to her edging and weeding.
So that night, dressed in our best clothes, we stepped under the chapelled vaults of the Galvin La Chapelle in Spitalfields, whose French cuisine and romantic atmosphere knew no rival in London, perhaps even in the whole of England. We were seated at our reserved table for two in the middle of the enormous dining hall, where we could admire the polished marble pillars supporting the stone ceiling, the timbered vaults and the arched windows. We both felt so paltry surrounded by such grandiose mediaeval decor.
“Such a posh restaurant, I’ve never seen such lovely architecture and decoration. And feel this tablecloth, it wasn’t bought at Primark,” Helen remarked blissfully, passing her rough, garden-versed fingers over the silken cloth after having been seated in a red-upholstered chair by a charming young waiter.
“I knew you’d like it, darling.” I beamed, thoroughly delighted at my wife’s first impressions. “You deserve it, haven’t we’ve worked hard: first the duplex then the car?” The Maître d’Hôtel[1] greeted them in French, then with much studied decorum, lay two menus on the table in the middle of which had been placed a vase of intoxicating tuberoses whose fragrance almost caused Helen to faint in ecstasy. Marvin ordered cocktails.
Suddenly his face turned white as a ghost. Helen, snapping out of her ecstatic state, searched the sudden whiteness for a reason: “Marvin … Marvin, are you alright ? Is it the flowers or the prices on the menu that have turned your face into stone ? I told you this place was dear. We’re not at MacDonald’s, you know …”
Marvin struggled to speak: “No … no … it’s not the menu, dear.” He turned to observe the Maître d’Hôtel presently leaning on the counter of the cocktail bar. He was attired in the most striking satin canvas double-breasted tuxedo with a black, silk bow tie whose tips brushed lightly against the red-laced lining of his vest. His tailored trousers grazed daintily a pair of Crockette and Jones shoes, the dearest in London. There he leaned on his right elbow, chatting up the barmaid. With the most refined gesture, he took out a cigarette from a gold-plaited case and lit it.
Marvin gasped: “It’s him! It’s him, Helen!”
“What are you on about?”
“The head-waiter talking to the waitress at the bar…It’s the bench-sleeper in the park. I’m sure of it.”
Helen sat back, a bit ruffled at her husband’s outlandish outbursts. The young waiter brought the hors d’oeuvres[2]: duck liver royal and buffalo milk panna cotta. As soon as the waiter had served them: “Are you daft!” she whispered so as not to be heard by two couples who had just been seated near to them. “Stop this nonsense, Marvin. Control yourself. Don’t forget where we are. How can a tramp on a park bench be the head waiter of the most expensive restaurant in London?”
“But the way he smokes his cigarette…it’s exactly like the beggar’s! And his grey eyes, those glazed, blurry, grey eyes are his. Helen I can’t believe it!”
“Then don’t believe it because it can’t be him. Calm down and eat your duck liver. Look, he’s coming to take down our main dish, which because of your foolishness, we haven’t chosen yet.”
The stately Maître d’Hôtel glided over, pad in hand. Marvin, red as a lobster, buried his face in the menu. Helen scanned hers, marvelling at the names.
“Let me suggest the crab ravioli,” His soft voice sailed in between them. A voice very familiar to Marvin.
“That sounds lovely,” Helen said, staring impatiently at her husband who was hiding his face behind the menu. “With a lot of ricotta cheese, please. I’ll also order a free range aged duck sauce à l’orange. And you darling, what will it be?” she added, barely disguising her anger.
“I shall have the Iberico pork with chimichurri sauce, please,” Marvin ordered, peering over his menu at the head waiter.
“Of course, sir, we serve the finest French cuisine in England ; une cuisine exquisite!”
“How about some wine, dear?” Helen interrupted, peevishly.
The Maître d’Hôtel suggested: “An Aloxe-Corton Latour red wine goes well with pork. As to the crab, why not a carafe of Chardonnay?” Helen and Marvin acquiesced by simply nodding their heads. “If I’m not mistaken, this is your first time here? Perfect. Then permit me to offer you, on the house, our burnt honey custard tart for dessert. It simply melts in your mouth.” The first-comers wreathed in smiles, albeit Marvin’s somewhat withered, nodded again in ostentatious gratitude. The Mâitre d’Hôtel glided off across the stone-paved floor with velvet steps.
Marvin leaned over the table, his nose ruffling the tuberoses. “Helen, I’m telling you it’s him. I’m going over there to settle this mystery once and for all. I know he recognised me, that’s why he offered that dessert to us.”
“Don’t be rude, Marvin. I shan’t be embarrassed because of your ill-behaviour. That beggar has got to your head. Sip your cocktail, why are you ruining such a lovely evening, especially one that will cost you over two hundred quid?” Helen bit her lip.
“But dear, I shan’t embarrass you ; I’ll just casually stroll over to the fellow and hint at David Copperfield. He’ll get the message. He’ll know I’m on to him.”
“What do you mean ‘on to him’ ? He’s not a criminal! Stop this immediately or I’ll leave you eating your two-hundred pound meal alone!” With those stern words that brooked no rebuke, the affair appeared settled …
Marvin, however, was not to be foiled …
He stood up. Gathering courage, he made a bee-line for the cocktail bar where the Maître d’Hôtel was serving himself a drink. Marvin in a low but firm voice said: “Sir, I believe we have met elsewhere.”
Being much taller than Marvin, the Maître d’Hôtel bent over him, drawing closer. He placed a comradely hand on his shoulder : “My good man, how observant you are! My disguise has not fooled you for a moment. But please, look at your lovely wife,” and he sighed. “She’s almost in tears, worrying over your stubbornness to know the truth. The truth? Of what? About a sleeper on a park bench, one who harbours a certain disdain for Dickens in the mornings? If I were to reveal the mystery of our morning’s encounter, would you please return to your table and enjoy the meal with your wife.”
Marvin remained speechless, although he did scoop out a handful of cashew nuts from a porcelain dish on the cocktail bar counter.
“You see,” the head waiter continued philosophically, “here in this restaurant I play the role of a Maîtred’Hôtel. I wear the weeds and mask of social bearing, parade about this remarkable dining room with aristocratic ease. I follow the rigid rules of proper etiquette. Where we met and spoke this morning is my breath of fresh air, my dwelling of unconfined freedom. There I dispose my mask, divest my constraining costume and don the clothes and air of a bird that has flown out of its cage. Here inside, I’m an actor. There, outside, a spectator no longer on stage constrained to act, but react to those whom I observe. And that my good man is the essence of freedom. In the parks, I regain a sense of reality by observing the simplicity of Nature, the grass beneath my feet, the sun, moon and stars above my head. The trees and the songbirds. In the restaurant, albeit it be the finest in England, I merely act, opined as a social asset, as a means to cater to people’s needs for costly pleasures, and of course to my own and those of my family’s, although mine and theirs are far from costly. Look, I shouldn’t be smoking this, but it is the only pleasure, the only soupçon of outside freedom that I can afford myself here.”
Marvin, awed by this avowal, said nothing. The Maître d’Hôtel concluded: “Now hurry back to your charming wife who has been impatiently waiting for your return. I do believe your main course will be promptly served. But let me say this, please do not disclose the reason for my bench-sleeping activities. That will be our little secret, one only between us. Look, your wife appears so upset, why subject her to trivialities? Discretion, my good man. Discretion. Put her at ease and enjoy your meal.” The Maître d’Hôtel causually strolled to a nearby table, smiling.
Marvin shuffled to his table, where indeed Helen was fuming. “Well ! Has he called the ambulance to have you packed off to Bedlam?”
Marvin winced. The irony of her remark cut deep into his emotions. He appeared lost in thought: “No … We had a smashing conversation, in fact. He’s quite a decent chap, well-read on Dickens, too.”
“Good, then let us get on with this wonderful meal. Cheers darling, and thank you, the wine is heavenly and the crab, well, what can I say?” Helen raised her glass: “To us … and Dickens!”
Paul Mirabile is a retired professor of philology now living in France. He has published mostly academic works centred on philology, history, pedagogy and religion. He has also published stories of his travels throughout Asia, where he spent thirty years.
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Borderless 