Categories
Excerpt

A Sense of Time

Title: A Sense of Time and Other Stories

Author: Anuradha Kumar

Publisher: Weavers Press, San Francisco, 2021

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Dorothy Cries in the Bus

She spoke for too long on her cell phone. That was the first thing Malati noticed about the foreign lady seated in front of her in the bus. She had brown hair fading at the corners and she spoke English. She sounded American to her ears. All this Malati noticed in degrees, having been too hassled to really look when she’d boarded the bus. There were last minute instructions she had to message her husband, even if she was leaving him and never coming back. Having sent off her last message, she sat disoriented for a while. Her eyes strayed ever so often to the glass fronted dial of her cell phone hoping it would light up. But of course, it didn’t. He really didn’t care. Even now, when he should rightfully have been worried about her, whether she’d boarded the bus all right, what with the heavy rains all along the Konkan till Goa, he was with that harlot. Malati felt certain that they were at the temple in Mahalaxmi, necking on the steps, offering prayers, all in the vain hope that the gods would not consider them shameless. The hair on Malati’s arms stood up in anger and indignation. 

   Images rushed through her mind, a savage anger that made her long to jump off the bus, hail a rickshaw and rush straight home. But she wouldn’t do that, not yet. Let Ashok miss her. He would know how difficult it was to run things in the house without her. Soon he’d be calling her up, begging her to return. Malati smiled at the thought, the anger disappearing into the sunny silver of her changing thoughts. How many days should she stay away, she wondered. Should she wait for him to fetch her?  

   She sat up straight, adjusting her sari around herself. It was then she gave herself time to take in her surroundings. Was everything as it should be? Perhaps the air conditioner was on too high. When the conductor came around, she would ask for it to be lowered. She paid 500 rupees extra for an air-conditioned seat and she was determined to get her money’s worth. She looked around at her neighbors. Some students on her left and an old lady on her right, who was perhaps being shunted off to yet another set of relatives. Would that be her fate too? Malati wondered. And just in front, though she could not see her face yet, was that American. Everyone who moved down the aisle, to their seats behind, bottles of mineral water, groundnut or chikki packets, even bananas, in hand, turned to look at her. It made Malati curious too. But she didn’t want to crane her neck or peer over her seat because that might feed the other woman’s vanity, make her think she was special. Women were the same everywhere that way, even Malati knew that. In any case from the back of her head visible over the seat Malati could tell she dyed her hair. A golden brown shade that was, as she’d already seen with some gladness, already fading. 

   She would wait for her to get up. Passengers usually did that, most of them in the minutes just before the bus started. It was an inevitable and uniform act, that after sitting for so long patiently, in the silence that prevailed after the driver had slammed the door to his cabin shut, before the conductor began his sedate traipse down the aisle, to click away at the tickets extended to him, people always remembered some last chore. Minutes before departure, the stench emanating from the public toilets rose unbearably high forcing people to send prayers of relief up to the heavens once they heard the engine revving up. The woman in front though didn’t get up and in the silence broken only by the steadily advancing click of the conductor’s stapler, Malati heard her voice too. It had to be American, she was sure now. The accent Malati could easily place thanks to the serials she watched. 

   But then the woman sounded distressed as well. She was on her phone again. Malati tried her best to follow the conversation, but it was short, and she could only make out the bye-bye at the end. Malati did not miss the last sob in her voice. Languages could be diverse, but nothing could hide expression. The American was crying to this person on the other end. Possibly her husband. These Americans were free in their feelings that way. The serials showed them kissing and hugging each other, openly, and always for too long. It really embarrassed Malati, even when she was by herself.  

   From the gap between the two chairs, she saw the woman move her hands over her face. She wiped her tears away. Poor thing, Malati thought. Such a long way from home, she was. Malati wondered whether she should ask to exchange seats with the woman who sat next to the American woman. But next to her sat someone who looked to be one of those students from the engineering college. They always traveled in groups over the weekend and did not deign to speak to anyone. Just because they were more educated, so fluent in English and rich. Malati sniffed. 

About the book: 
The stories in A Sense of Time and Other Stories offer a range of themes and emotions. They speak of the challenges of being human, the unpredictability of the mundane, the strange attractiveness of the unfamiliar, and the constant quest to make connections and find love, even with an alien from another world. In ‘An Entomologist at the Trial,’ a small town lawyer’s ambition turns on his attempt to resolve a thorny case that falls amusingly flat. ‘Pandemic 2121: A Love Story’ and ‘Missing’ are stories, varied in theme, that yet speak of the loneliness of keeping love. How does one save a love when everything is conspiring against it, these stories ask. ‘All The Way to the Twelfth Floor,’ ‘The Bus and the Minister,’ ‘Big Fish, and the title story, ‘A Sense of Time,’ speak of the alienation and helplessness of the common person when confronted with a faceless, stony-eyed system. A world with rules set in time, where conventions matter more, leaves little room for those at the very bottom who have little choice but to wait endlessly for succour. ‘Rekha Crosses the Line’ on the other hand, is a more subversive account of a woman who gives in to her desire for some fleeting moments, only to wonder if it was really worth it. ‘Alterations’ casts a satirical eye on a wannabe scientist’s experiments as he craves world recognition. And finally, ‘Comfort Food’ and ‘The Man Who Played Gandhi’ speak of our quest to make sense of those long gone, those whom we have lost. Written in the span of a decade and more, these stories will hopefully stay on, linger in the mind, long after being read. These stories might make you see yourself and even others in a different way. It takes only a little empathy to allow the hidden to surface.       

About the Author:  
Anuradha Kumar is a prolific and established writer. A Sense of Time and Other Stories is collection of short stories after The Girl Who Ran Away in a Washing Machine and Other Stories (Kitaab 2016). She has written several novels, including three works of historical fiction as Adity Kay. Anu also writes pieces on history for Scroll.in. Her stories have received awards from the Commonwealth Foundation, and The Little Magazine India. She was born in Odisha, lived in various parts of India, Singapore, before moving to the US more than a decade ago. She now lives in New Jersey with her husband and daughter. 

Read here interview by clicking here

Categories
Musings of a Copywriter

Creativity and Madness

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

So many times this question has been lobbed at me: Have you gone mad? I have not been able to confidently say — yes. I have not been able to vehemently deny it either. But I have taken serious note of it, asking myself this question again and again. At times I feel I do have it in me and sometimes I feel I am exaggerating my qualities to put myself in the league of big achievers who had a streak of madness igniting their flashes of brilliance. I express gratitude to the people who doubt my sanity. They are truly visionaries and genuine well-wishers, who managed to spot my innate potential before anybody else in the family did.

When a middle-aged man falls in love with a girl half his age, he has to answer the same question: Have you gone mad? When an old fogey leaves everything behind and packs his travel bags to go on a road trip, he is labelled mad. When a rich man relinquishes all his wealth, he is dubbed mad. When a professional quits a cushy job to pursue his passion, he is written off as a nutty nerd. Similarly, when an urbanite decides to relocate to a village and lead a farmer’s life, he is categorised mad.  

Attempt anything unusual or unconventional and you stand accused of being mad. A person with the potential to shock the world is said to be in dire need of shock treatment. Thankfully, there are hundreds of people who cross the borders of sanity every day to come home saner. The act of flirting with madness is a rewarding experience to feel sane within – even if the world refuses to acknowledge the benefits of this exercise. 

Higher than any recognition in the world is the honour of being called mad if you are engaged in the business of creativity. It is a source of ultimate bliss to be bestowed with this prestigious title. There are many creative people who have won covetous prizes and metal pieces but the world does not call them mad. Madness remains a streak of genius that remains elusive to most. It is like having all the riches of the world and still remaining unhappy. It is painful and melancholic for a creative soul who fails to get recognised and remembered as mad. There is no lobby, no committee to understand madness and celebrate its diversity and goodness. There is no national or global award or citation that recognises or honours the scale and magnitude of madness.

You must be really mad to spend seven years of life locked in a room, busy writing a big, fat novel and doing nothing else. You are chasing something when you do not have any estimate of success in it. Madness fuels the passion to keep going and without madness there cannot be anything magical. Not just once, you spend an entire lifetime doing crazy stuff without any assurance of success in the venture. With nothing going in your favour, with nothing glorifying your mission, you are on your own journey despite all hardships. Madness alone makes it possible to undergo the impossible. The act of creating involves madness at various levels – in choice, in pursuit, in suffering, in determination, in persistence, in creation.

There are phenomenal people in every field who are never content with the shower of praises simply because they do not have the crown of madness to wear. The search for the mad title remains an unfulfilled dream. We are not advanced enough to think of eccentricity as an achievement worth celebrating in life. Whenever this question about being mad has been hurled at me, I have felt happy from within. I have wondered how close I am to winning this label in my lifetime. Sometimes I feel, it is within reach and sometimes it seems beyond reach during the entire lifetime. Before a pervasive sense of dissatisfaction creeps in to create a void, I urge you to seek the company of friends and colleagues who, when persuaded, will flatter and provide temporary relief by calling you mad. Absorb the repetition to get a high.  

Zero in on the glory of madness as it reveals a clear focus on the work and the possessed state that makes you refine the craft. It is not easy to say to what extent you are driven by the mad urge but the richness of the work shows you are deeply under its influence. Sometimes one piece of work brings you credit and sometimes the whole body of work makes people consider you raving mad. Keep the target high and celebrate your creative madness as a source of elixir that keeps you alive and fully charged to produce more specimens that demonstrate to a higher degree your long walk into the dark recesses of the mind, to make it suffer over a period of time and produce something timeless and unique.

You find creative people in the film or literary world who have not paid attention to anything apart from their work. They have not won any awards, big or small, not even made it to any shortlist, but their works live forever in the heart. Their readiness to immerse their lives in the work is a key indicator of creative madness. When lives do not matter, when commercial gains do not matter, when nothing else matters except the work and that is what their wide world is limited to. A plunge into such depths of madness is what makes them scale the heights of creative success.  

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  


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Categories
Poetry

A Fearful Mind

By Shraddha Arora

 
 
 
 A fearful mind
  
 I often ask myself - "Why do I fear?"
 Is it the fear to fall or is it the fear of not rising after the fall?
 It is difficult to say what I fear more, but I fear both. 
 And in this fear, 
 I am in a status quo; keeping my head low. 
 The question is how far can I go if I keep it all below?
  
 My mind battles every day. 
 Worries what people will say.
 But should I even care?
 When I know they will say it anyway? 
  
  
 It’s a phase and it shall pass.
 But if I let my fears surpass,
 I will be lost in what I am
 And may not become what I Can.

Shraddha Arora is an unpublished poet/writer. By putting words on paper, she clarifies her purpose and explores her passion.

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Categories
Musings

Harvest your Patches

By Aditi Jain

Gradual is the foundation of a bountiful harvest.

Pandemic? Lockdown? 2020… so immured? Must have run to New Year 2021 jubilation with a hope of cudgel of change? Sorry, not even a change, a ‘transformation’ !

A pandemic is not merely a biomedical phenomenon, but a social and cultural phenomenon as well. And healing from pandemic takes place gradually. It’s not the first time in history, that there has been an outbreak of pandemic, though agreed it has deeply ravaged the humanity and society. Black Death ( 1346-1353) and Spanish Flu (1918-1920) are some of the gruesome reminders when history had been attacked by pandemics. The end of 2020 saw goodbye notes with loathsome memes and cold messages that expected COVID 19 to disappear at the start of the New Year. Wearing the shroud of negativity and animosity, such an outlook impeded our spiritual development and realisation that nature has spirit!

Do you think if we can ‘patch’  the immured 2020 with warmness? Possibly yes. Since the vocation last year and even till date ( though it’s your exalted 2021), is mostly carried as WFH (Work from home), let’s configure the patches. 

An online meet opens in a gallery view where you are welcomed by the host with a coy or may be a wry smile. That gallery view reminds me of ‘patches’ …beautiful patches of a quilt; where each speaker/participant/patch presents his/her views or shares a story. 

In a journey of a beautifully crafted patchwork quilt, the nuance of stories and emotions communicated by each patch can be felt. Each patch communicates and adds to the composition, which can be a trope for ‘ topic of discussion ‘ of an online meet. 

Each patch of a quilt is sewn with a thread, whereas each speaker/patch of an online meet is sewn with internet connectivity. A patch loosely stitched in a quilt would blemish the entire composition. A technical glitch in connectivity also would blemish that online meet. 

Not all patches of the quilt are embellished. So are we shrewd enough to cater to our favourite ones and pin them up to adorn the whole quilt? Imagine, the various quilting patterns resonating with the conversation patterns of the online meet. Candid conversations in plain and corny mood, resonating with straight line quilting. While framed narratives with lots of “so yaa” resonating with log cabin or concentric patterns of quilting. At times, a particular patch is quilted heavily to accentuate the look, but often creates a ‘yuck’ factor in that design. This reminds me of a speaker/patch, who has the audacity to blabber ceaselessly, being a stimulus for a bored yawn. 

Quilting bee, a social event for learning new skills and techniques, were popularly known as ‘work parties’. But deep down, we may admit.. our ‘zoom bee’, ‘Teams bee’  or ‘ Meet bee’, have left us like zombies attending an online meet. 

A quilt stitched part by part, with isolated yet beautiful patches is a treasure to hold. It gives profuse warmth and love in our life. Since they are  sourced from different places, each patch or fragment carries a story of the place it belongs to. 

So why not cherish 2020 as a quilt, rather than discarding it as a rag. 2020 had been an opportunity for self-reflection,  self-acceptance , our communion with nature and the experience has played a critical role in nurturing our faculties. 

The notion of transformation from the pandemic to the post-pandemic realm with merely the onset of 2021 was a fallacy, but we preferred to believe in illusions beautifully crafted by designer media. Antithesis of illusion, ‘reality’ says, healing from pandemic and recovery from this digression will happen gradually. Growth and recovery are always gradual and should be made with more informed and prudent choices. 

So, let’s harvest our quilt!

The surface of the quilt is almost ready. Patches have been joined, each patch reminiscent of a new and different experience. Since every patch is reminiscent of a new and different experience, I sincerely hope and yearn, that the patches are not only cut in ‘squares’. Not only ‘squares’, as it might make your quilt a cold memory, or cast a sharp glare at you. I hope there will be ‘circles’ and ‘triangles’ too to inculcate warmness, flexibility, positivity and a path to subjective choices and emotions. Perhaps, you could be that ‘circle’ or ‘triangle’ in someone else’s quilt. 

Quilting patterns have been explored intensively (you may choose candid talks, framed narratives or introspection). This time, I wouldn’t hope but surely suggest, to select ‘introspection’ for the above. An introspective quilting pattern would contain a series of intertwined quilting lines, gleaming with the rays of optimism and self-reflection. In those intertwined quilted lines, some would be prominently embroidered with thick threads; as some reflections and thoughts are too deep to be mulled over and to be taken into consideration. The negative thoughts would be slightly visible, since some would be nuanced threads. In spite of being negative, it would be part of your intertwined quilting, because the quilting pattern needs to be balanced, so your thoughts and actions as well; which would otherwise be impetuous, if not pondered critically. 

Quilt batting would be consolidated layers of hopes, wishes and prayers. Backing could be our faith, our faith in gradual yet impactful recovery. 

Bind the quilt with optimism, a binding which is not solipsistic. A border which resonates with holistic sustainability and growth, seeking inspiration from our indigenous wisdom.

It is heartening that the vaccine drive is kicking off at a steady rate, hopefully the drive will be a success and gradually we will be emancipated from the realm of the pandemic. But that emancipation will be gradual, not each of us would be vaccinated at the initial stages. The drive would be delineated in gradual steps.

The vaccination plan released, has certain limitations, which would take time for complete acceptance and achievement of the target. No doubt, vaccination apps would be launched soon, but to augment them to their best potential and efficiency would be a gradual process. 

Assuming that you are that ‘lucky bee’ of our quilting bee, to be vaccinated, since you belong to those categories that will be catered at the initial stages; you would still have to take all the precautionary measures, till you get the second shot. Even after getting the second shot, you would be expected to adhere to social distancing  and masks would still be your mandatory accessory.

Let’s fast-forward a little. Let’s assume the vaccination plan succeeds and it is available ‘easily’ to the masses and we have renounced the reign of the pandemic. So now what’s the need to harvest the quilt? 

A quilt is used seasonally, so will be your ‘ ‘harvested quilt’, which would be stored in bed trunks and would be pulled out to protect from harsh chilly frosts. The ‘harvested quilt’ doesn’t resonate only to the pandemic, it’s a quilt of endurance , memories, experiences and an inspiring lesson for the future, if any such pandemic occurs again.

Basking in the sun, gather the quilt and snuggle in its warmness with faith and endurance. Store it in your trunks or bed storage with real happiness, real realisation, real endurance; you would be ‘real’ to yourself, if the ‘growth’ that has taken place in you is real. 

You may end up with an imperceptible nod as epiphany will sound only when the quilt is finally harvested! 

Aditi Jain is a Gurugram-based Textile designer and researcher, graduated from NIFT. She envisions textiles as media of expressions. The ‘expressions’ – that convey ideas and beliefs, imbibed in Indian cultural roots, with a contemporary blend to express them with a fresh and modern outlook. Currently, she is working on a research project on responsive fashion and sensory design.

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Categories
Ghumi Stories

The Threat Note

Nabanita Sengupta finds criminals lurking in the darkness of Ghumi woods

The note was placed on the boundary wall. Mr Roy’s eyes fell upon the unevenly torn piece of paper while he was leisurely slurping his customary morning tea. Even without looking at it closely, he knew what it was — a reminder of their previous demand. They wanted him to give them that preposterous sum of Rs 50 lakhs*! The note also carried a threat of dire consequences if the demand was not met within a stipulated time. The threat was reiterated by various blank calls and anonymous threats over the telephone. The second such note meant he could not ignore it for much longer. It would soon require some action on his part. 

Ghumi was not always like this. In fact, it had been a sleepy township bound by  rivulets and  hills on both sides. Routine life that revolved around a single factory ensured a monotonous existence, safe and secure, though a tad boring. Mr. Roy was happy with the sedentary life he led. It was not excitement that he sought at this stage of life, but a bit of comfort. The discipline of a fixed routine offered that comfort. Yet when this sudden and undesirable matter presented itself, Mr. Roy knew he had the capability to deal with it. 

Now that he thought, there had been signs. There always are. Nothing happens out of the blue. There is always a gestation period before the hatching. A more vigilant eye can discern the growing embryo of trouble. He too had felt the change; he could sniff it in the air but could not exactly pin it. Perhaps he could have done it once. Once when his senses were more alert and his body was more toned. That was the time when his reflexes were quicker than lightning. Agility had been his second nature. But that was almost a decade ago.

Ten years of civilian life had given him an increased girth and reduced agility, though that did not mean that he had lost all his capabilities. He still loved solving difficult sudoku puzzles and juggling his brain with tricky problems to retain his alacrity. He still exercised for at least about an hour, sweating himself out in a Spartan space in his backyard that doubled up as his gym as well as their occasional party room. He had to maintain certain basics, given the nature of his job.

During parties that he and his wife organised frequently, the room went through a complete transformation reflecting the theme of the gathering. At other times, pieces of furniture, crockeries, and many other items lay heaped in one part of their unused car shed. An  old vespa scooter occupied the other part. That scooter was Roy’s favourite, his only mode of commuting within the township. In fact it had become his signature look — pleated trousers, formal shirt, blue helmet and the navy blue Vespa.

Incidentally, it was during one of his dinner gatherings that Mr. Roy had first sensed the storm brewing. He did not ignore it, but did not even attach too much importance to it at that time. 

That was a party that he had thrown for the factory bosses. He and his wife often  threw dinner parties. But they never mixed ranks of the invitees. They understood the way social classes operated in that world. Factory and its adjacent office ranks decided the social standings in the world of Ghumi. The Roys did not overstep that. Their dinner parties therefore always included a set of people with homogeneous social standings. That way hospitality became easier and the guests also felt more comfortable. Conversations could flow in a more uninhibited manner, that allowed him to pick up titbits that might be useful later. His military years had well taught him the meaning and importance of ranks, the fragile vanities associated with it. 

That particular day, he was drawn by the unusually preoccupied demeanour of Mr. Iyer, the chief of the mechanical department of the factory. As he stood alone, lost in himself, in one of the quieter corners of the room, Roy casually moved towards him and struck a conversation. 

“Hello Mr. Iyer! I am happy that you could manage to come.”

“Hello Roy! Yes, somehow.”

Iyer was again lost in his thoughts.

Roy prodded a bit more

“All is well I suppose? You don’t seem to be yourself today.”

“Ah! Yes, all seems okay, I don’t know, am not sure. Certain things are bothering me though I can’t exactly figure out why.”

“Your long association with this factory must have made you intuitive. It is better not to overlook your intuitions.”

Roy was not exactly sure why he said these, but somehow they seemed to be the right words to say. He did believe a lot in intuitions and his own intuitions had often served him well. But this was not something he publicly acknowledged. He preferred to maintain his public image as an extremely pragmatic individual, though actually he was an avid reader of signs. The signs always warned him if there was anything afoot. 

After spending some more time with Mr Iyer, he moved towards other guests. But Iyer had given him food for thought. He now knew that those people had made inroads here too. This factory, which was the mainstay of a large thriving community was about to be caught in the throes of something far bigger and sinister. But that was a passing thought that had come to his mind then. 

The threat note probably meant that those people were involved. But how could that be? He knew that one of their modes of operation was to demand ransoms and attempt blackmail. Yet, he found it a bit odd. Those people usually did not pick on small businessmen. The reason Roy had set up his own enterprise here on a very modest scale swas to avoid drawing attention and being the target. He wanted to wait and watch, unobserved. His becoming the target therefore could also mean his exposure. It was time for a bit of snooping around.

Prabhu, the labour union leader, knew how to read signs too. He too had felt the changes, silently but surreptitiously creeping along the factory walls. This factory was his closest kin. He had grown up with it, around it. So he could understand it much better. When the unknown faces started making regular appearances, he could sniff the perturbation in the air. It was like the fly ash, directly choking the air pipe and blocking the fresh air. Prabhu knew that the factory was doomed if something quick was not done. 

Prabhu had observed Roy for the past twenty years. He had worked as his eyes and ears but somehow never stopped watching him. He knew about the threatening notes too and had instinctively felt it was the time to act. 

The jungle had started thinning rapidly. The General Manager was losing sleep over it. There were timber thieves surely, but how could no one catch them! This factory, which surrounded a large part of the Hazaribagh range, had always nurtured the forest and its belongings — the rich flora and fauna. After taking over the reins of this establishment, Mr. Iyer had personally taken care of the natural bounty of this place. It was a case of love at first sight for him. The dense and vibrant green that housed so many creatures like hedgehogs, peacocks, boars, and various kinds of fowls and birds had appealed to the environmentalist in Iyer. Also, he knew that the only way to keep the community safe from the poisonous gas erupting from this factory was to cocoon them in thick foliage. But suddenly now, towards the end of his career, things were changing — changing probably for the worse.

He suddenly remembered Roy’s words, “better not to overlook your intuitions”. Was he right? Iyer had always seen this man a bit differently from the rest. He had always felt that Roy was not what he seemed to be. Yet, in spite of his doubts, or perhaps because of them, he felt more drawn towards that man. He promised to himself to cultivate a closer association with him. 

But Mr. Iyer was not at all prepared when Roy burst into his office on a particularly frosty morning, dressed in nothing more than a light woollen sweater. Mr. Iyer had just entered his office clad in a heavy suede jacket and a monkey cap.  His feet were covered in a pair of woollen socks inside the fire safety shoes that all employees of the factory had to wear, irrespective of their rank. Shoes in that sense was actually a great leveller in the  otherwise layered society of Ghumi. 

Soon after receiving the second note, Roy had reinstated his old network of informants. They were all his old associates, who could seem dormant or engaged in some mundane activities but were on alert, waiting for a signal. After their last mission, they knew that there would be a strike back or a resurfacing of the timber thieves  somewhere, the only question was when.

All those who were bordering retirement from active combat, scattered themselves across the small but significant towns and townships of Jharkhand and took up their residence as entrepreneurial civilians of moderate calibre. Roy had not only  settled in Ghumi, but had also fallen in love with the place. There was something charmingly timeless about that small township, a presence untouched by the disturbances or degradation of the outside world. Over the years he had developed a protective instinct about the place, a desire to retain its innocence. And, so now when he confronted or rather,  sensed the enemy, he felt oddly responsible towards this home of his midlife. 

He had found his life here. Ladli,  the orphan girl he had found abandoned in the nearby forest had become the mainstay of their childless conjugality. He had  later learnt that abandoning newborns and orphans in the nearby forest was one of the frequent happenings around that place. Poverty, dowry, lack of employment and awareness — all the usual evils that elbowed each other for a space in that area just beyond the factory estate, had nipped many innocent lives.

The estate with settlers from various parts of the country, all bound together by a single employer, the factory, was an insulated, isolated ivory tower, untouched by the real tide of lives just beyond it. Roy, as much as he loved that community, was also in quest of something more, something beyond his immediate mission. Ladli had stirred something within him, a softer aspect of his existence that he had forgotten all about. A fond childhood memory came back to him — his mother keeping aside a portion of fish everyday for the sweeper’s wife who was advised some protein in her diet but was too poor to afford it. His mother would also set aside some fruits for their maid everyday each time she was pregnant. That watchful caring attitude had percolated down to him, making him more sensitive towards the people around him. 

When he dashed into Mr. Iyer’s office that morning, he was more than pleased with himself. After the inputs from his network of informants, Roy knew that almost a quarter of the forest reserve had already been devoured by the insatiable greed of these timber thieves. But since these were in the extreme interior of the forest, none came to know about the loss. Roy was also informed of the date of their next illegal foray into the jungle. Wanting to catch the smugglers red-handed, he quickly accumulated a small but very capable band of people with Prabhu’s help. Roy was cheered by the eager efficacy of Prabhu’s support, born from a commitment that only a deep love for one’s hometown could command. And he intuitively knew that his effort would not fail. So many locals had lost their livelihood to these organised thieves; who knows, perhaps Ladli’s parents too were a victim of that. He did not want any more Ladlis. 

As his small band of men crept slowly into the forest, they could hear a rhythmic thud, one that could only be made by an axe’s crashing down upon a tree trunk. Within moments Roy’s men organised themselves into a circle and in no time those men were overpowered.

The entire episode was hushed by the management to maintain peace among people yet somehow small slices of information sneaked out. People of Ghumi started treating Roy as a hero. But most importantly, a rigorous interrogation revealed the resurgent timber thieves’ head was Guddu, Roy and his cronies’ old rival. Their last operation had been partly successful as they managed to dent the network but could not behead it. The serpent had needed years to rear its head. The decade long wait had paid Roy and company handsomely. Guddu was caught at last. Stripped of his maze like network, he was a part of this group of timber thieves, though being involved in direct action had not been his style of operation. However, a truncated gang of dedicated followers and increased risk of operation had forced him to join his recent forays hands on. 

With Guddu’s sentence, Roy heaved a relief. He could now retire from the forces to be the entrepreneur he had posed to be all this while.


* 1 Lakh – 1,00,000

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Nabanita Sengupta is an Assistant Professor of English by profession and creative writer by passion. Translation remains one of her chief areas of work and interest. Her works can be read in various journals, anthologies and e-zines.

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Categories
Poetry

One Star

By Ihlwha Choi

One Star

After losing his way
He is wandering in the strange street

I have not found the way
Which leads to him

Like his way
Like my way
Like the way we both can't find


One familiar star
Shining brightly afar in the night sky 

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Ihlwha Choi is a South Korean poet. He has published multiple poetry collections, such as Until the Time When Our Love will Flourish, The Color of Time, His Song and The Last Rehearsal. 

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Categories
Review

“Talkin’ About A Revolution”

Book review by Rakhi Dalal

Title: Inqallab on the Walls

Author: Sutputra Radheye

Publisher: Delhi Poetry Slam, 2020

Sutputra Radheye is an Indian poet. His works have been published in several national and international magazines and journals. This book was published by Delhi Poetry Slam in the year 2020.

Inqallab* on the Walls is a collection of 50 poems. As is reflected by the title, these poems are poems of resistance. In choosing to name it thus the poet, in times disrupted by oppressive forces, seems to be making an attempt to claim a space for his resistance. Walls are spaces which have always become a site of defiance, of resistance of common man against injustices of State in a society. The poet appears to write with the intention of registering his resistance, and the voices of those oppressed, loudly for everyone to notice. 

In his essay, “Resistance and Poetry”, K. Satchidanandan writes:

Resistance in art has a complex relationship with this resistance by the people. It tries to discover parallel aesthetic and emotional structures and create new languages adequate to express the new energy. In one sense art is essentially oppositional as it works against hegemonic ideologies and status-quo structures and ever strives to “make it new”.

The poems in this collection, echoing the voice of common people, reflect an artist’s opposition to the oppressive structures, like state, capitalist system, caste and patriarchy. In the first poem, “Singing like a Crow”, his defiance in the face of accepted structure of poetry comes forth quite forcefully.

You.
Yes you.
I am talking to you.
Look at me.
I too am a poet.
Listen to me.
Though, my feather is burnt
in the fire of corrupt sun,
I carry a bleeding pen.
Ugly, and dangerous,
I fly like the dragonfly.
Cage me. Please try.
My wings won't screech
                            like the tyres 

The poet’s pen is ugly and dangerous because it is bleeding. And though his feather is burnt he knows he can soar like a dragonfly and wouldn’t falter. This poem starts with a promise as the poet appears to challenge the privileged world of Indian English poetry which follows certain aesthetic principles and has long been the domain of a small elite group reading poetry in comfortable spaces. And just as the reader becomes engrossed in the voice, a little sloppiness jerks the attention. Why compare wings with tyres? One wonders if a better simile could perhaps be used, the impact would have been more pronounced.

This is a stanza from next poem “The Dictator”:

There is a hummingbird in my throat, dictator,
Singing the songs of free beckon.
There is a hummingbird in my throat, dictator,
Afraid, who is not, of your weapon.

As much as a reader may wish to admire the intent of poet in giving a voice to resistance, the experience is marred by the evident laxity in choosing words for the sake of rhythm. This happens with many poems in the collection. The choice of similes and metaphors do not add to make the poems impactful which may have been the poet’s aim.

In some poems the poet uses Biblical imagery. For example in following stanzas from two different poems:

When I die-
I shall go to the hell
And meet comrade, Lucifer
To listen to the anecdotes
Of the first rebellion
Of oppressed on oppressors. (When I Die)


I shall light up the torch extracting fire from the sun
To burn the forbidden, puritan trees for freedom
Living hidden from the barbed gates in a corner
Waiting for the comrades with kerosene to reach. (Walk Alone!)

In “When I Die”, Lucifer is referred to as a comrade whom the poet wishes to meet in the hell after death. He doesn’t wish to go to heaven, which might be the place that home his oppressors, but rather to hell so that he may listen to the stories of first ever rebellion. In “Walk Alone”, the poet speaks about burning the ‘Forbidden tree’ for freedom, the reference is to the rigid societal systems which oppresses certain classes of people. However, by making use of such imagery, the poet seems to be drifting away from his notion of reclaiming space in the otherwise established conventions of the art form.

As one moves along in the collection, reading one poem after another, the poems which should speak to you because they seem to be coming right from the heart, the poems seething with anger against oppressors of all kinds, the poems seemingly calling the readers, the fellow people to stand up and take control, somehow fall short on the intended impact because of slack, and sometimes very casual word selection.

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*Inqallab — Revolution

Rakhi Dalal is an educator by profession. When not working, she can usually be found reading books or writing about reading them. She writes at https://rakhidalal.blogspot.com/ .

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Categories
Adventures of a Backpacking Granny

Where it All Began

Sybil Pretious recounts her first adventure, an ascent on Mt Kilimanjaro

“The birds have vanished into the sky        
And now the last cloud drains away.
We sit together, the mountain and me,
Until only the mountain remains.”
Li Po

My backpacking adventures started late in life though I have always loved camping and the outdoors – a legacy from my parents. My passage to starting these adventures reminds   me that when an opportunity presents itself, take it. It might be right, it might be wrong. All paths can be changed, and nothing is set in stone. But if you don’t follow an opportunity you will never know and you will never grow.

My light bulb moment happened. In 2003, looking through the ‘Situations Vacant’ column in a local newspaper while living in Durban, South Africa. My eye rested on an advertisement for a post at an International School in Maputo, Mozambique. Without a second thought I applied immediately. I didn’t tell my husband (who turned out to be against the move until the salary was revealed), until I was interviewed by the head of the school and offered the post.

My time in Mozambique demonstrated the answer to something I had doubted for a very long time (35yrs to be exact). I discovered that I was able to function perfectly well on my own –manage my finances and my daily life in a foreign country where I did not speak the language. I had long been considering divorce but could never quite plucked up the courage to ask my husband. I know, it sounds ridiculous and pathetic, but I am sure there are some who will resonate with this.

2005 was a watershed year for me. I climbed both a personal and physical mountain and my life changed unrecognisably. My divorce went through in July of that year as my husband realised my need to be on my own. We had been married 38 years.

 In August, I prepared to climb Kilimanjaro.

This was my first real backpacking adventure. I was 63 and I had three beautiful daughters and three grandchildren. They were the bonus of my long marriage. 

   Mt Kilimanjaro –  Five Vegetation areas

Mt Kilimanjaro is in Tanzania. It is a dormant volcano and is the highest free-standing mountain in the world at 5,895 metres and covers five distinct vegetation areas – the base in villages and agriculture; rain forest; moorland; Alpine desert and the frozen summit. Not many people believed the reports of the missionary, Johannes Rebmann, in 1848 of a snow-capped mountain so close to the equator.  Sadly, the ice cap is rapidly diminishing as climate changes.

I was to climb with a party of five covering a wide age range. A friend, Bruce, who wanted to celebrate his 60th birthday climbing the mountain and a family of three from Tasmania — Tim, Wilma and their 10-year-old daughter Anneke.

We chose to go the ‘Coca Cola’ route because being rank amateurs, it was the easiest but not that easy as we soon discovered. Our plans included not only our magical journey to climb Kilimanjaro but also to take a safari to Serengeti and the Ngorongoro Crater. This writing however covers only the Kilimanjaro experience.

In preparation I walked every morning as normal, took up tai chi and in the last couple of months joined a gym to strengthen the right muscles. I think the tai chi was the best preparation both physically and mentally.

The advertising blurb about Kilimanjaro said that you need be only moderately fit, but I think it takes more than moderate fitness to be conquer a mountain peak. Fitness plus strength of mind and spirit are factors while summiting. Even then you might be foiled by altitude sickness.

We prepared mentally by visualizing ourselves triumphant on the top and we had screen savers created by Bruce showing the mountain and us superimposed at the top. I asked the students in my grade 1 class to draw pictures. One showed Bruce at the top and me below with my hand out saying, “Help me!”

 “We’ll see…,” I thought.

And made a mental note that I should take no notice of what others thought of my capabilities. Motivation should be internal.

I purchased clothes, and equipment we needed to take. The boots were the most important item. They had to be half a size bigger than your normal size so that on the descent, laced really tight, your toes would not be bruised knocking against the inside end of the boot. I was intrigued with the special underwear and tops which would apparently ‘wick-a-way’ all the sweat and smells of a heavy day of trekking and also keep the skin dry. Even the trousers were of a material that was light and quick drying.

 We were expressly told not to take cotton clothing and denims both of which retain moisture and you don’t want to be wearing cold wet clothing in the freezing weather higher up in the mountain.  The really heavy gear for the final ascent we could hire at the Springfield Hotel in Moshe.

I was the first to arrive at the Springfield Hotel, the launch point for all climbers. The next morning, I walked into Moshe along a dusty road. I didn’t take note of how I got there and after an interesting morning I started to make my way back. I was lost and turned down a street only to end up in a village. A pleasant young man said he would call the Headman who spoke very good English. I tried to appear confident and told him where I was going.

“Ah, I will send my son to show you a short cut.”

I couldn’t believe what I said next,

 “No, he will hit me over the head and steal my clothes.”

The wise Headman just laughed.

“You will be alright.”

Feeling embarrassed at my outburst I then enjoyed a pathway far more interesting than the road I would have taken. It was a lesson in trust that took me on wonderful journeys with local people in many countries. We passed through villages, huts, women washing and singing, men carving and talking, children waving and shouting, “Jumbo” and “Ha-llo” to show they had learnt one English word.

On reaching a place where he could direct me to the hotel, I said a big thank you and gave him some dollars which delighted him. Once again, I was treated to the goodness of human kindness and realised that I needed to trust.

The remainder of our party arrived the next day.

Having acquired our outer coats with fur lining, pants and two sticks we were ready. Bruce and I were called Mama and Papa throughout our climb!  I was shocked to find that the local people at the hotel worked 10 days in a row with one day off in between and their hours seemed to be from morning to night.

On the 16th  of August, we arrived at the Marangu Gate to register and meet our two guides, Raymond and Kilian,  fit young Tanzanian men who did the climb regularly to fund their children’s education. They could only do this for a few years as the toll on the body is punishing.

We set off on a wet drizzly day in our smart boots, wick-a-way underwear, warm jackets, slacks and raincoats through the steep, slippery, misty rain forest.

 Everyone who climbs Kilimanjaro is encouraged to heed the words, “Poley, Poley” meaning “Slowly, Slowly” and we did because that was all we could manage. The beauty of the forest passed in a fuzzy, drizzly gently blurred outline of moss, trees, creepers and drops of rain, unappreciated as it should have been in normal times. I found myself helping Bruce when he slipped and fell. It was an instant reaction to help. He was annoyed. Finally, we arrived at Mandara Hut, where we stayed in A-frame huts.

 My appetite surprised me. I devoured a gigantic amount of hot stew, vegetables, rice and mealie meal (cooked ground maize) plus pudding, obviously needing to replace the energy expended during the six-hour hike. And slept soundly.

Next day after an enormous breakfast including my favourite mealie meal porridge with butter and honey, another six-hour climb to Horombo Hut at 3720m.

The six hours seemed never-ending, the height increasing as we walked up,  down and up again, over rocky terrain, loose rubble,  smooth terrain; every muscle crying out but I discovered that I could prime my mind to assist my body.

The flora changed into heath and moorland and we sited the strange-looking giant Lobelia and Groundsel trees and surprisingly, Protea. Then on the penultimate day,  the Alpine desert — bleak, white dust, draining.

We saw people collapsed with altitude sickness being carried on stretchers down the mountain and passed various groups and exchanged greetings — a Japanese group and a Diabetic group. Their camera man interviewed us because of the diversity in our ages asking how we would feel after the climb. I waffled on but Bruce put it succinctly,

“Tired!” he said.

Throughout the climb if I felt my energy lagging, I would match my breathing to my footsteps, muttering rhythmically,

“One-step-closer, one-step-closer.” That was my mantra, concentrating my mind in meditation. It helped, as did Tim forging ahead and holding out jelly-babies as incentive. Anneke skipped and sang the first couple of days, but this changed as the air got thinner.

The third day, we climbed up to Zebra rocks and back down again as an acclimatization exercise. I had taken Diamox for altitude sickness and I was fortunate not to suffer. On our last day Anneke developed a headache and vomiting which was a sign of the sickness. The only cure was to go down to lower heights.

At Kibo Hut, at the base of the final ascent, Bruce had decided to go no further, Anneke was not well enough, and Wilma stayed with her. Only Tim and I would attempt this.

I gave myself Reiki that night to calm me and aid my sleep. We would be leaving at midnight.

I woke up to Bruce saying,

“You don’t have to go, you know.”

I was so irritated and angry. I was prepared. I was keyed up and ready. I shouted at him,

“Why are you doing this?” And ran out into the night in my night wear.

The freezing night was black pitch, the full moon a silent shimmer and stars mind-silencing bright. I stilled my turbulent thoughts, gazed at this heavenly sight and closed my eyes, sensed the calm and breathed the re-vitalising air.

I realised then that there will always be people who try to dissuade you about a path you wish to take but you will know in your heart what you need to do.

Calmed, I returned and dressed for this final push. We did not need our lamps in the brightness of the moon.

The way up was steep, convoluted with grey loose scree underfoot. It was difficult. So often I wanted to give up. I hardly talked. Tim and Kilian went ahead. Raymond stayed with me. Six hours later I sat at Hans Meyer Cave, ate some biscuits and watched the sun rise over Mt Meru. I needed its energy.

“The mountains are calling. I must go.” John Muir.

The next hour was a blur. Tim had already summited and was on the way down. He waved as he passed us, and Kilian stayed with Raymond to go up with me. It was a great effort to draw air into my lungs and my mantra got slower and slower to match my steps. But the mountains of my mind and spirit kept me going.

I remember asking if there was a mug of hot chocolate for me when I reached Gillman’s Peak (which used to be the summit until it was usurped by Uhuru Peak). Raymond laughed as I clambered wearily over the last enormous rock to reach 5681 metres.

It had taken me longer than normal to reach that point and I had a decision to make. I could have been selfish and continued to Uhuru Peak, but I knew if I did that it would take too long. Our party would have to stay another night at Kibo Hut, and this was not in our plans.

Wearily I told Raymond that we needed to descend.

This was the scariest part, as to save time we descended in a straight line down, Raymond and Kilian on either side of me.

I collapsed onto a bunk and tried to sleep for three hours.

Feeling hardly resuscitated I joined the others for the descent which would take two days as opposed to the four days taken to climb up Kilimanjaro. I needed to rest quite often but didn’t want to hold the others up. It was a case of pushing myself to the limits.

Tim, Wilma, Raymond — our guide, Anneke, Bruce and me. Tim and I proudly with our certificates. I had not brought my South African flag

From that moment on I was hooked on both backpacking and mountain climbing.

This climb had taught me that I had reserves of determination and strength that I had doubted before. It also taught me that selfish ambitions sometimes have to be relinquished for the good of the group. And that there are wonderfully helpful people wherever you go.

Many physical feats and forward movements in life are possible when influenced by the mountains of the mind and spirit.

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Sybil Pretious writes mainly memoir pieces reflecting her varied life in many countries. Lessons in life are woven into her writing encouraging risk-taking and an appreciation of different cultures.

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Categories
Stories

Flash Fiction: Fat!

By Supriya Rakesh

So, it is my college re-union this evening. I don’t even want to go, I really don’t!

But then I think, what the hell, it’s been ten years! Will be nice to meet all the girls… may be even some of the boys.  They will all have turned into paunchy dads. Most of them, may be not all of them. The girls are of course skinny and what not. I know; because they’re all over my Instagram. With their GM diets, avocado smoothies, and egg whites. Their svelte sculpted bodies in their hot Yoga pants.

I approached the venue all, all cautious, like a crab calculating its distance and plotting its moves. I know I have done okay in life. Decent job, check. Boyfriend and marriage, check. Travelled around the world, yes even to Czech. Published my short stories, check and mate!

Still, I first stand in a corner and watch from a distance. They all look so smug in their designer outfits — eating, sipping, laughing, catching up.

“Oh! Is this food vegan?”

“I don’t eat gluten any more…”

“Can I have some low-cal champagne?”

I observe them like a birdwatcher studying a rare species. Pretty much how I got through four years of college. I stand my ground, waiting for my friend, Sally. I need a buffer, I really do.

Until one of them spots me.

“Oh my God, Mandy…,” she coos in her high-pitched voice. “There you are! Come on over.” The bait is ready. I approach unsteadily, just as the group gets ready to devour me.

“Oh wow, you have put on! Looking just a bit fat!” A unanimous guzzle.

Fat! From that moment on, things start to blur. Is it the fresh trauma or memory of older ones? Perhaps, it is low blood sugar. I did skip my post-lunch tea and muffin in anticipation of the food here.

I strain to take in all the jibes and counter-jibes. Only the most important information is digested. Yes, there is clear consensus. I have packed in some kilos, 5 to 10 is the guesstimate. I neither confirm nor deny anything.

Then, a platter of suggestions. My responses rise up like reflux but never escape my lips.

“Completely cut out carbs.” I veto the keto!

“Just eat every two hours!” Ummm, why not more often?

Then well-meaning Veena and sharp-tongued Shapira close in on me.

“Hey girl, loving your curves.”

“Yea! Love-handles mean more action!”

Being touched inappropriately under my shirt snaps me out of my reverie. I excuse myself, saying I need to look for Sally.

It’s been ten minutes and Sally is no-where to be seen.

I have gulped down two glasses of strawberry sangria and have no choice but to head for the buffet. I definitely do not want to return to the herd. To have more pity or information stuffed down my throat. A rumbling stomach confirms my decision.

I pick up the plate and stand in the line. I manage a polite smile at a few faces I remember vaguely. But inside, I am fuming.

What the hell do these women think? That I am clueless of my own weight? I haven’t looked in a mirror since what? 2008? Even the clothes I had to throw out gave me no clue! They are doing me a favour, by their astute observations and wise revelations?

Grinding my teeth, I load up my plate… comfort food is what I need right now. I skip the weirdly brown lentil soup (how can I eat it standing) and approach the hearty tomato spaghetti with parmesan cheese.

Or should I go for the veggie brown rice pilaf? The ‘healthier’ choice?

Ugghh, it’s all their fault! Causing such gut-wrenching dilemma in my otherwise sorted brain. My grad school, published author brain. Again, did they expect me to look exactly the same ten years later? All the things I’ve done, achieved, mean nothing against my slightly bulging waistline?

I find myself a table in the corner, and tear into my spaghetti.

Yes of course I’ve gained weight, but only a slight bit– couple of dress sizes at most. I’m not technically fat. Just full-bodied. A real woman. Living in a normal, healthy way. No fad diets or surgeries. Why do we swallow up these beauty standards dished out by fashion, media, society? I slurp my arguments down with my vanilla-bean smoothie.

My plate is almost empty now. I do feel a little better.

Yup, cold dairy as always soothes my nerves. Complex carbs give me perspective. A happy buzz in my head from the strawberry sangria. It’s just one evening, after all! Plus, Sally will be here soon. She’ll get me. Sally’s beyond everything. She’ll have some sage advice for me, some philosophy or the other about self-acceptance.

My phone pings as I head towards the dessert counter. Thank god she’s almost here! It’s a tough choice, but I pick up a bowl of fresh caramel custard (gooey brownies are for little children) and walk towards the door.

She wants me to wait outside so we can meet first, then walk in together. Looks like she needs a buffer too. I’m so excited, I haven’t met Sally in the longest time!

There’s a slight drizzle outside but I’m distracted by the zesty orange drizzle in my bowl. As I dive in to soak a last sumptuous bite, there is a slight tap on the shoulder. I turn to greet her with a full-mouthed grin… My jaws drop, as does the spoon in my hand.  

“Wow, Sally” I gobble unwittingly. “You are looking so fat!”

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Supriya Rakesh is a researcher, educator, author with a PhD from IIM, Bangalore. Her fiction explores gender and relationships in contemporary India, with recent publications in Kitaab, Muse and Setu Bilingual. Further details at www.supriyarakesh.com.  

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Categories
Slices from Life

Moving from the Podium to the Helm

By Meredith Stephens

For many years my preferred pastimes had been reading, writing, drinking coffee and avoiding exercise. Admittedly, I did cycle to and from work and between my office and classrooms and I had a weight routine that consisted of carrying books up and down stairs. I was proud of having built my exercise routine into my daily movements rather than having to go out of my way to get fit.

It was February and the Japanese winter was dragging on. My office faced north, and it was already dark even though it was early evening. I had a sudden desire to return to Australia earlier than planned to catch the end of the summer and be reunited with my adult children, Emilia and Annika. I made a quick call to the office to let them know of my plans, and then logged on to the airlines and brought my flight forward a week. Little did I know I would continue in Australia not only that summer but also the following summer.

I found myself arriving in Adelaide shortly before the outbreak of a global pandemic and the closing of international borders. I landed bedraggled after my eighteen-hour journey. I descended the escalators to the carousel and waited for my baggage. A short wiry man was staring at me from the other side of the carousel. I averted my gaze, but he walked towards me and stood squarely in front of me. I met his eyes and stared at him for thirty seconds. Gradually, I saw the face of the teenager he once was.

“Are you Alec?” I probed.

I hadn’t seen Alec for twenty years or so since my undergraduate days. His piercing pale blue eyes were unchanged, but his mop of shoulder-length dark curly hair had turned grey and was now neatly trimmed.

“Yes, Meredith,” he acknowledged.

He told me that he had just returned from the UK where he worked as a merchant banker, and that he escaped the northern winter each year to the sail in the Australian summer. We exchanged news about our life events over the past twenty years. I looked up and noticed the other passengers had vanished, and there were only two suitcases moving around on the carousel.

“Let’s catch up again while you are here. Can I have your number?” Alec asked.

I gave him my number and exited the terminal. The sunlight was blinding, and I pushed my suitcases to the kerb and waited until my daughter Emilia drove past to pick me up.

A few days later, Alec sent me an email inviting me to a cafe in Norwood. He picked me up in his dark green Nissan Pathfinder and drove us there.

“I used to have a crush on you at university,” he confided as we exited the car and walked towards the cafe. I was taken aback. Alec had always been so focused on his studies and I could not imagine that he would ever have been interested in anything other than academic topics. I continued feeling stunned by this admission and looked away. I had always admired his quick questioning mind, not to mention his dark curly hair and pale blue eyes, but I said nothing.

Since leaving university Alec had taken up sailing, and he even preferred the sea to the land. He invited me, Emilia, and Annika to sail with him and his sister Verity to Kangaroo Island, south of Adelaide. We eagerly accepted, and soon we found ourselves on his boat heading to the island. Emilia and Annika position themselves at the front of the boat.

Alec liked to keep his use of diesel on the boat to a minimum. Once out at sea, he set the sails and turned off the engine. I was not sure how to help him with the sails, but I did my best to loosen the rope in the winch as he called out instructions to me above the sound of the wind.

Alec had carefully planned the menus for the trip. Because of the panic-buying of milk in the supermarket, there was no cow milk left and he had bought goat milk. He made an espresso coffee for me. I had never had coffee with goat milk before but it was tasty.

Emilia and Annika remained at the front of the boat, and soon Alec summoned his voice to penetrate through the wind to pronounce ‘Dolphins!’ Soon the girls spotted a school of dolphins accompanying us at the front of the boat.

As we sailed along the north coast of Kangaroo Island we passed Smith Bay. Alec informed me that there was a plan to develop a port there. He mentioned that pine forests had been established twenty years ago even though there was no way of getting the wood off the island. The proposed port would provide a means of exporting wood chips. Alec was opposed to this plan because of the threat to the local marine ecosystem, not to mention the dolphins.

We continued west to Dashwood Bay where we anchored for the night. I slumbered peacefully in my cabin as it gently rocked from side to side. Alec had promised to take Emilia and Annika to snorkel with dolphins in the bay. In the morning I was woken by the light penetrating through the cabin window. Alec ushered Verity, Emilia, and Annika on to the dinghy, and took them to the shore.

I remained on board, content to enjoy snorkeling vicariously. I did not miss out, because as I sat at the stern the surface of the water was broken by splashes when dolphins passed by. Finally, the party returned and Alec set sail for the mainland. We farewelled a landscape devoid of human activity apart from a single homestead and a single car parked on the beach.

Alec and I shared the helm for a while but he was feeling tired from the morning snorkeling so I took over. I didn’t expect it would be so cold in the middle of summer, and my left hand slowly became numb. I scanned the horizon for small fishing boats which may not have satellite systems to notify them of our presence. I imagined being distracted for a moment and colliding with one of them. Alec noticed how tense I was and relieved me of my duty. I returned to my cabin and enjoyed the bouncing motion as we crossed the waves of Investigator Strait at a ninety-degree angle on our beam.

It took a pandemic to force me away from my lifestyle of cycling to work and ascending and descending stairs many times a day carrying books. Border closures led to a sequence of events in which I found myself sailing for the first time in my life. I caught the look of wonder in Annika’s eyes and thought we might be dreaming. I closed my eyes and imagined myself once again working in Japan. However, when I opened my eyes we were still on the boat. The pandemic had brought about a revolution in my lifestyle, but one of the few continuities was that my pastimes continued to be reading, writing, and drinking coffee. Even if it was with goat milk.

Meredith Stephens is an applied linguist in Japan. Her work has appeared in Transnational Literature, The Blue Nib, The Font – A Literary Journal for Language Teachers, The Journal of Literature in Language Teaching, The Writers’ and Readers’ MagazineReading in a Foreign Languageand in chapters in anthologies published by Demeter Press, Canada.

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