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Musings of a Copywriter

Bedsheet Bedlam

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

From Public Domain

It took me a long time to clear the confusion between bedcover and bedsheet often misused interchangeably as synonyms. Post marriage, thanks to my partner, I came to know that anything meant to cover the bed should not be called bedcover. I chose to find a simple way to remember that anything that covers the mattress to provide a hygienic surface to sleep on is identified as bedsheet. Ever since I became educated regarding the key difference, I have developed a strong desire to shop for fancy bedsheets, stronger than shopping for my own apparel with fancy labels. 

Frequently changing the bedsheet – less than a fortnight, to be specific – has led to a shortage of bedsheets. With my unilateral decision to discard the faded and dull ones, the stock plummeted to less than half. I applied harsh judgment and dumped most of the bedsheets, calling some of the shades a bit too dark to invite mosquitoes and spirits to draw my blood. To equal my score, my soul mate exercised her free will in a similar manner and rejected a few more from the ones I spared, calling the animal prints as scary and nightmarish that disturbed sound sleep. The ferocious leopards and leaping monkeys served as scapegoats that kept her wide awake for long hours. Finding this quick solution to end her insomnia without realising that the extended screen time led to low melatonin levels formed a strong case for justice that could not be delayed nor denied.

Replenishing the stock was not going to be a smooth task as the contest to justify and convince the partner would be fierce, to say the least. She would list her own preferences and parameters so the ideal route available involved equally splitting the purchase target, with each partner buying half the stock without explaining anything to the other partner.

Finding this to be the safest and wisest option to avoid conflict, I proposed it to her. She made no effort to disagree on this count except specifying that the purchases must be strictly offline. She seemed to have already made up her mind regarding what she would order and from where. We agreed because we had suffered online disappointments regarding a host of issues related to size, fabric, thread count, material quality, and colour combination in the past. How the ordered pink bedsheet became magenta on delivery was a magical mystery of transformation that was never solved.

Knowing what she disliked, I tried to focus on the shades she loved – the floral prints she approved of. Knowing what I liked, she tried to focus on the soothing pastel shades of my choice and picked up the ones without flashy designs, finding the plain, solid ones as the better choices. Since we had already decided what to avoid, buying bedsheets appeared to be an easy job. Once the process began, we realised there were still several other factors to bear in mind. Both of us were free to pick what appealed to each of us yet the buying process seemed to be a classic example of trying to please the other person. As if the bedsheet was a chic dress item purchased as an anniversary gift to elicit praise.

The thread count check ruined my maiden choice as I was told it was 144. Quite important like a vital health parameter, I chose to opt for a bedsheet with at least 186 TC, making the shop assistant scratch his head to remember the exact location of the bedsheets with higher thread count. When he finally pulled out some of the bedsheets, their geometric patterns reminded me of pentagon and hexagon, feeling alarmed of turning the cosy bedroom into a classroom once again. Memories of the geometry box with protector and compass would cause anxiety and lead to a lack of restful sleep. I turned my gaze away from the entire stock and requested the staff to show some cute prints instead. He picked out some bedsheets with kittens and teddy bears, compelling me to specify that ‘cute’ ones do not always mean referring to what kids like.

I decided to end this exercise by picking up a bright floral print. He seemed to get it now and showed me a satin bedsheet decked with giant roses not common in any nursery including the organic types. Since I have a tendency to slip, the extra smooth satin surface would make my head slip down from the pillow and keep my legs suspended from the bed, hanging down like withered branches of an old tree. When everything else seemed to fit the bill, the satin spoiled the whole thing, making me consider a quick exit from the mega store with a faint smile on an apologetic face without making any purchase. Imagining the fiery glance of the mumbling salesman dumping the entire lot flashed before my eyes to remind how the failure to achieve sales target burns a person from within.  

Feigning a tough exterior of an annoyed customer still eager to lock the deal, I told him I had specified the material has to be cotton, super soft cotton. He argued that super soft is something only satin or silk could satiate, not cotton. I underlined that the material must be cotton because nothing else suits my tender skin. He argued further, asking me why the skin would react as I would be wearing my night suit. I reminded him that there were other situations possible, but he did not seem to get the hint. Missed by a long shot.

To serve a persuasive customer, he brought to my notice an off-white one with polka dots, which I called white. He corrected me by pointing to the printed label with the exact specifications. I said it would get dirty very quickly as I have a habit of eating snacks on the bed, and spilling the tomato sauce on it would resemble blood stains. White also reminded me of hospitals and dead bodies. The bedsheets inside the hospital rooms were invariably snow white. While it was preferred by health experts, the sight of white bedsheets scared me, reminding me of my last journey from this world. I left the store in total confusion, without thanking him for the effort he invested to convince me to make my first independent purchase of a premium bedsheet for my bedroom.

I remembered her preference to either contrast or match the bedsheet with the colour of the curtains a bit late. The cream blinds and baby pink curtains reflected her sober taste. When it came to bedsheets, she was sometimes unpredictable and moody.  Since she doted on shades like pink, yellow, green and orange, I chose to focus on these vibrant, energetic colours with positive psychological impact. I thought of offering a surprise by matching the bedsheet with the colour of the bedroom walls. The colour book available at any paint shop would be the ideal reference in this regard. Undertaking a humungous task of this order was needless for something as simple as buying a bedsheet was another piece of advice offered by the logical side of the brain.

Neon green was in vogue, and the lime green option came closest to the fashion of the day. I specified neon green as the only preferred colour option when I went to a bigger store in the next lane to buy a cotton bedsheet. This time, I faced the tough query of clarifying whether my bed was king size or queen size or super king size or just an ordinary double bed. He mentioned the sizes in feet and centimetres, but I was unaware of the bed size I had been sleeping on for years.

That king size was bigger than queen size was another piece of information that was discriminatory in terms of gender. Why is the bed for kings bigger? Why is it smaller for the queens of the world?  Even if my bed was queen size, I chose to opt for king size bedsheet. A bigger one can be folded and tucked inside or left hanging loose on the sides to cover the bed.

The store guy dumped a lime green bedsheet with royal blue borders and big lemons resembling the size of grenades. I came close to making my first choice as all the expected parameters were found in place. I could not think of a plausible reason why she would not be delighted to welcome this new addition. As I completed the maiden purchase on my own, I felt this was just the beginning of the task that would carry more episodes like any web series. Further installments would have more challenging situations, so it was not right to bask in the glory of one successful click that was still waiting to freeze her reaction. 

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

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Excerpt

An Unfinished Memoir

Title: Janaki Ballav Patnaik: An Unfinished Memoir

Author: JB Patnaik

Translated into English from Odia by Bhaskar Parichha

Publisher : BK Classics

Chapter 17
A Journalist across Continents

My association with Prajatantra[1] also opened doors to experiences beyond the country. In 1959, the British Information Services invited four journalists from eastern India to visit England. From Odisha, I went as the editor of The Eastern Times. Along with me were representatives from The Statesman, Amrita Bazar Patrika, and Searchlight of Patna.

Our visit to England proved deeply enriching. We toured institutions such as University of Oxford and University of Cambridge, and also visited the British Parliament. At Bristol, we paid our respects at the tomb of Raja Ram Mohan Roy. We were taken to an atomic energy plant, a steel factory, and even a coal mine in Wales. On London’s Fleet Street, where most of the major newspapers were published, I had the chance to observe the workings of the Daily Telegraph office—its news gathering systems, teleprinter composition, and massive printing machines. We also engaged in discussions with British journalists about our experiences and about Indo-British relations.

We had arrived in England in June. One day, the temperature rose to ninety degrees Fahrenheit. By Indian standards, it was nothing remarkable, but in a country accustomed to cold weather, it was almost unbearable. News came of workers in several factories halting work due to the heat. We visited places like Buckingham Palace and the bridges over the Thames, taking in as much as we could of London’s historic landscape.

From London, I felt a strong desire to visit Germany. It was not uncommon for distinguished Indian journalists visiting London to be invited onward, so I approached the German Embassy and expressed my interest. To my pleasant surprise, they promptly invited me for a fifteen-day visit and granted me a visa.

I reached Frankfurt around ten in the morning. There, I was warmly received by Dr. Reikel, secretary of the Indo-German Association. With a smile, he informed me that the annual session of the German Indologists’ Association was being held that very day in Essen, and asked if I would like to attend. I readily agreed.

At the conference, nearly four hundred scholars of Indology had gathered—an impressive assembly devoted to the study of India’s past. After the session, during lunch, I was greeted by a former German Consul General who had once served in Calcutta. He asked me which city in India I came from. In an affected English accent, I replied, “Bhubaneshwar.” He smiled gently and said, “You must have just returned from England. The correct pronunciation is ‘Bhubaneswar.’”

I felt a moment of embarrassment. But he went on to say something that stayed with me. He told me that it was in Bhubaneswar, while visiting the Rajarani Temple, that he had first met his future wife. Then, with quiet warmth, he added that the German people held India in great affection. “You have seen it yourself,” he said, gesturing toward the gathering. “Hundreds of scholars here are devoted to studying ancient India. Wherever you go, you will find a spirit of friendship.”

And indeed, that is what I felt—a sense of India’s presence, respected and cherished, far beyond its own shores.

From there, we took our leave and travelled to Bonn, then the capital of West Germany. Bonn, I found, was much smaller than Berlin. In those days, Berlin stood divided—one part belonging to West Germany and the other to East Germany, which claimed it as its capital. Surrounded entirely by East German territory, West Berlin remained cut off, an island of a different world.

Dr. Reikel next took me to a refugee camp in West Germany. There, day after day, people fleeing from East Germany sought shelter. Pointing them out to me, he explained that East Germany was a communist state, almost a satellite of the Soviet Union. Life there, he said, had become so difficult that many risked everything to escape into Berlin and beyond.

We then visited West Berlin. I was struck by its prosperity. It was hard to imagine that this thriving city had once been reduced to rubble by bombing during the war. The transformation was astonishing—order, wealth, and vitality had returned. Except for one ruined church, left deliberately unrestored as a reminder of the World War II, there was little visible trace of destruction.

Curious to see the other side, we boarded a tourist bus to East Berlin. The bus carried visitors from many countries. As we entered, the conductor announced that we could now compare capitalist Berlin with communist Berlin. The contrast was stark. East Berlin appeared plain, almost austere, lacking the vibrancy of its western counterpart. Many buildings stood incomplete, as if time itself had slowed. One could immediately understand why people were fleeing from East to West.

From Berlin, we flew to Hamburg, the principal port of West Germany and a city rich in history and beauty. Its City Hall, harbour, and music halls left a lasting impression on me. Later, I also visited Wildbad.

At a hotel there, I noticed the Indian national flag fluttering. For a moment, I wondered if some distinguished visitor from India had arrived. Dr. Reikel smiled and told me that there was no one else—it had been hoisted in honour of me, their guest. Not long before, he added, another Indian guest had stayed there—Narayan Dutt Tiwari, who too had been invited by the Friendship Society.

While I was still in Bonn, an incident occurred that touched me deeply. A professor of philosophy had come to my hotel and left behind a card for me. On it, he had written a simple yet profound message: that he had come to pay his respects to my country—the land of Mahatma Gandhi and of the Upanishads.

It was a quiet gesture, but one that reminded me how India lived in the imagination of distant lands—not merely as a nation, but as a civilisation.

Everywhere I went in Germany, I felt a genuine warmth—an unmistakable atmosphere of friendliness. Even in an ordinary park, if one happened to meet a passerby, he would acknowledge you with a gentle nod of greeting. It was a small gesture, yet it spoke volumes about the people.

From Hamburg, I travelled to Munich by train. From there, I was to take a flight onward to Paris. The margin between the train’s arrival and the flight’s departure was barely half an hour. I asked Dr. Reikel, half in doubt, what would happen if the train were delayed. He replied with quiet confidence that it would not be late even by a second. And indeed, it arrived precisely on time.

I took leave of him there. For fifteen days, he had been my constant companion, guiding me through the principal cities of West Germany with a warmth that felt almost familial. He was a widower, deeply patriotic, critical of Adolf Hitler, yet appreciative of the discipline and courage of the German army of that era. The German people, I observed, were extraordinarily industrious. Whether worker or employer, all seemed united by a culture of hard work. Strikes were rare, almost unheard of.

At the time of my visit, Konrad Adenauer was the Chancellor of Germany. There was a popular saying that captured the spirit of the nation’s recovery—that the Chancellor had asked every worker to add just one extra hour of labour to their day, and that this collective effort had helped rebuild Germany. Whether apocryphal or not, the sentiment reflected the ethics of the people.

From Germany, I travelled to Paris—a city steeped in history, as ancient in its own way as London. Paris had witnessed the rise and fall of monarchies, the turbulence of revolutions, and the flowering of culture. In terms of civilisation, it was often regarded as the cultural capital of Europe; in matters of diplomacy, some even called it the capital of the world. And when one spoke of fashion, Paris stood unrivalled.

Above all, Paris carried the legacy of the French Revolution—an event that became a beacon for oppressed people everywhere. From that revolution emerged the enduring ideals of liberty, equality, and fraternity—principles that have guided countless movements across generations. The revolution of eighteenth-century France remains one of the most profound and unforgettable turning points in human history.

I stayed in Paris for three days, in a modest yet elegant little hotel. By then, I was no longer an official guest of any government, as I had been in England or Germany. I was simply a traveller, left to discover the city on my own. And for that, the first necessity was a map. With it in hand, I resolved to begin from the city’s most prominent landmarks.

The most striking modern monument of Paris was, of course, the Eiffel Tower, followed by the imposing Arc de Triomphe. Guided by my map, I made my way from the hotel to the Arc de Triomphe, that grand arch built to commemorate the victories of Napoleon Bonaparte. Not far from there stood the Élysée Palace, the residence of the French President.

Paris, as I observed, bore the imprint of careful planning. During the time of Napoleon III, the city had been redesigned with remarkable foresight. From central points like the Arc de Triomphe, avenues radiated outward in all directions. Standing atop the monument, one could see twelve grand avenues stretching out with striking symmetry—a vision of urban elegance.

Near the lane where I stayed stood a well-known theatre, the Folies Bergère, famous for its ballet performances. The area around the Arc, however, was a ceaseless whirl of motion. With twelve avenues converging, traffic flowed endlessly from all directions, leaving hardly a moment for a pedestrian to cross.

Perplexed, I approached a policeman and asked—in English—how one might reach the monument without traffic lights. He offered no reply. Whether he chose not to understand or simply did not wish to respond, I could not tell. The French, I soon realised, take immense pride in their language; even if they understand English, they are often reluctant to use it.

Finding no answer, I half-humorously tried speaking in my own mother tongue, Odia. The policeman looked at me, puzzled, and remained silent. That, too, was an answer of sorts.

Over those three days, I explored the notable sights of Paris on foot. Along the way, I was joined by two fellow Indians—students from London studying accountancy. Together, we wandered through the city until one day we encountered a gentleman from Malaysia. At first glance, he might easily have been mistaken for an Indian; such was the resemblance. He turned out to be a senior official in his country’s archaeology department. From the next day onward, he became our companion.

One afternoon, as we strolled along the banks of the Seine River, he pointed out that the famed Louvre Museum was nearby. There, he said, we could see the celebrated painting of Leonardo da Vinci—the Mona Lisa.

We entered the gallery and stood before it. The painting’s fame, I realised, lay not merely in its artistry but in that enigmatic smile—so subtle, so elusive. Wherever one stood, it seemed as though her gaze followed. It is often said that no other portrait in the world carries such a delicate curve of expression.

At that moment, a line from the Odia poet, Jadumani Mahapatra, came to my mind, describing a smile of pure, almost celestial beauty—untouched by earthly colour or artifice. It felt as though that poetic vision had, in some distant way, come alive before my eyes in that quiet hall of the Louvre.

As I stood before the world-renowned Louvre Museum, gazing at Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci, I found myself drawn not merely to the painting, but to the mystery of her smile—subtle, elusive, and impossibly pure.

It was then that a line from the witty Odia poet Jadumani Mohapatra surfaced gently in my mind:

“Chandi nishi dhaba dhabale mishichi adhavala jyoti kuranga
Kshira sagara udara adarichi naba mudira jyoti sanga
Bishuddha hase ramara
Nilimaara nahi sanchara
Emanta kirti jara shuddha kara ehi kala bichara.”

(A tint of blue, a trace of blemish, haunts all that exists—
the moon carries its stain; upon Shiva’s stainless form lingers the azure of his throat; and in the Ocean of Milk, Vishnu shines in a cloud-hued grace.
Yet, in the smile of a beauteous maiden, no shadow ever falls—
it remains the purest radiance of all.
Only those whose hearts mirror such unsullied purity
are truly worthy to partake of this poem.)

The essence of these lines struck me with renewed clarity in that moment. The poet reflects on how, in this world, even the most luminous and sacred entities bear a trace of imperfection—
the moon carries its blemish.


In that quiet gallery in Paris, an Odia poet’s verse and a Renaissance masterpiece met—across centuries—and spoke the same silent truth.

Paris seemed to carry its beauty with a quiet, unmistakable pride. The graceful flow of the Seine River, the wide and elegant boulevards, the triumphal monuments raised in memory of Napoleon Bonaparte, and the countless churches—along with the place where Napoleon himself lies buried—all stood as living testimony to the city’s grandeur.

One day, we found ourselves standing by the roadside, not far from the magnificent Notre-Dame Cathedral. As we lingered there, a few American women tourists approached us. They seemed a little lost and asked, in English, where Notre-Dame was. We simply raised our hands and pointed—it was right there, almost within sight.

They thanked us warmly, but then, with a hint of amusement and mild irritation, remarked that the French were rather peculiar. “We ask them in English,” they said, “but no one answers.” English, they insisted, was the most important language in the world—surely the French must know it. Yet, perhaps out of pride, they pretended otherwise, choosing silence over response. Still, in hotels, we noticed, the staff spoke English quite comfortably—practicality, it seemed, softened pride.

Three days later, my journey carried me to Zurich in Switzerland. The country’s two principal cities, Zurich and Geneva, each held their own significance. Geneva, in particular, stood as an international hub, housing several offices of the United Nations and serving as the headquarters of the International Labour Organization. Every year, representatives—labour ministers and worker delegates—from across the world gathered there for its annual conference.

Zurich, however, captivated in a different way. Adorned with serene lakes and set against a tranquil landscape, it was a city of quiet beauty. Its streets were lined with shops displaying exquisite timepieces—especially wristwatches—for which Switzerland is renowned. The country’s reputation also extended to its health resorts, places of rest and recovery nestled in pristine surroundings. Remarkably, during both the World Wars, Switzerland had declared itself neutral, and the storms of war had left it largely untouched.

I stayed in Zurich for just a day before setting out again—this time toward Rome.

Rome, the capital of Italy, seemed to breathe history at every step. Its past stretched deep into antiquity. There was a time when the Roman Empire stood as one of the greatest powers the world had known, extending from Britain across the Mediterranean to the edges of West Asia.

Rome is counted among the most ancient cities on earth. It is said to have been founded in 753 BCE, and with its origins comes a legend—one both strange and enduring. Two twin brothers, Romulus and Remus, were, according to lore, nurtured by a she-wolf who fed them with her own milk. In time, a quarrel arose between the brothers, and Romulus killed Remus. The city he founded thereafter came to bear his name—Rome.

The history of Rome unfolded in many forms: it began as a monarchy, transformed into a republic, later came under the rule of the Popes, returned again to monarchy, and eventually became a republic once more. Its story, like the city itself, is layered, dramatic, and endlessly fascinating.

From the first century, Christianity found its way into Rome. Saint Peter, one of the foremost disciples of Jesus Christ, is regarded as among the earliest preachers of the faith, and tradition holds that he too was martyred. After him, through the passage of centuries, a succession of Popes carried forward the leadership of the Roman Catholic Church.

Within Rome itself lies a distinct and remarkable entity—the Vatican City. It is the residence of the Pope and the spiritual centre of Roman Catholicism. Though enclosed within Rome, it stands as an independent state, and like Switzerland, it maintained neutrality during both World Wars. During my visit to Rome, I made it a point to see this sacred enclave.

The most imposing structure there was St. Peter’s Basilica—a vast and awe-inspiring church that seemed to embody centuries of faith and devotion. Equally captivating was the Sistine Chapel, whose ceiling is adorned with masterpieces by the great artist Michelangelo. Standing beneath those paintings, I felt a quiet sense of wonder, as though art and divinity had merged into one.

In the history of the world, two names stand out as champions of freedom and republican ideals—Giuseppe Mazzini and Giuseppe Garibaldi. They were inspirations not only for Italy but also for many Indian freedom fighters. Though the republic they envisioned did not endure for long, their efforts eventually led to the end of papal rule and the unification of Italy under a monarchy, which lasted until 1922. Thereafter came the era of Benito Mussolini and fascist rule; and after the Second World War, Italy finally emerged as a republic—a system that continues to this day.

Rome is also famed for its fountains—countless works of art in flowing water, built over nearly two thousand years. Wherever one walks in the city, one encounters these graceful structures. The city is equally rich in historical monuments: the ancient Colosseum, the timeless Pantheon, the broad Spanish Steps, and the many sculptures and paintings associated with masters like Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo. The Vatican Museums, too, draw countless visitors from across the world.

Rome has long been called the “Eternal City”—a name that feels less like a title and more like a quiet acknowledgment of time itself. Through cycles of rise and fall, glory and ruin, the city has endured, carrying its past within its present. In that sense, I could not help but think of Varanasi—or Kashi in India—another ancient soul that has survived the ages with an unbroken continuity.

In its earliest days, Rome was ruled by a succession of seven kings, one after another. Then came the birth of the Republic, and governance passed into the hands of a Senate—an institution whose echo we still hear in modern democracies. The very word “Senate” travelled across time and continents, finding place in systems like that of the United States Congress, composed of the Senate and the House of Representatives, as well as in the parliamentary traditions of United Kingdom and India, with their respective upper and lower houses.

In Rome, however, the Senate was once the singular centre of authority, and from its ranks emerged powerful dictators—figures entrusted with absolute authority in times of crisis. Among them, Julius Caesar stands preeminent. His life and death were immortalized by William Shakespeare in the play Julius Caesar, and later revisited by George Bernard Shaw in Caesar and Cleopatra.

The Roman Republic itself took shape around 510 BCE. Interestingly, around the time of Gautama Buddha, India too had republican states—Vaishali being one of the most notable, governed by the Licchavis.

Then, in 27 BCE, power took another decisive turn. Augustus—also known as Octavian—rose to authority through the Senate and declared Rome an empire. Under him, the vast dominion of Rome expanded and, in time, came to be divided into the Eastern and Western Roman Empires. The eastern capital, Constantinople (modern-day Istanbul), would go on to become one of the great cities of history in its own right.

During the reign of Augustus, the Roman Empire reached extraordinary heights, stretching across much of Western Europe. He was not merely a ruler but a patron of culture—supporting art, sculpture, and music. His court was adorned by great minds, among them the poet Virgil, whose Latin works continue to be celebrated.

Latin itself, like Sanskrit in India, is an ancient and foundational language. From it have flowed many modern tongues—English, French, Spanish, Portuguese, and others—each carrying faint echoes of that old Roman voice.

Before arriving in Rome, I had heard a caution—one must be careful, or one might easily be deceived. I had my own small lesson in this.

One afternoon, I stepped into a restaurant and ordered a thick vegetable soup. It was hearty and satisfying. Like in Paris, many restaurants in Rome spill out onto the streets, with tables and chairs arranged outside. I sat there, quietly enjoying my meal, when an Indian lady approached. She was from Bombay—a Parsi—and, noticing me, paused as if recognizing a familiar presence in a foreign land.

Watching me eat, she remarked gently, “You may be overcharged.”

And indeed, I was. The restaurant billed me five pounds for the soup—an amount far beyond its worth in those days, when even one or one-and-a-half pounds would have been reasonable. It was a small deception, yet it stayed with me.

Later that evening, in another restaurant, I encountered something entirely different. The owner, upon learning that I was from India, asked with a certain warmth, “You come from the land of Mahatma Gandhi?”

He spoke of Gandhi with deep reverence. “When my father died, I did not cry,” he said, “but when Gandhi died, I wept.”

I was struck by the contrast—here, in a distant Roman eatery, stood a man whose life had never touched India, yet whose heart had been moved by Gandhi. It reminded me how far the influence of a great soul can travel—beyond borders, beyond language, into the quiet corners of human feeling. When Gandhi passed, it seemed, the world itself had paused in grief.

Rome, in its own way, continues to remain connected to the wider world. It serves as the headquarters of the Food and Agriculture Organization, just as Geneva houses the International Labour Organization, and Paris hosts institutions like UNICEF. In these cities, history and modern purpose seem to meet—quietly shaping the world, even today.

I stayed in Rome for three days, and each day I walked nearly twenty to twenty-five kilometres, exploring these places on foot. I did not use any vehicle, for I have always believed that a city reveals itself best to those who walk through it.

A curious incident from those days often returns to my mind. When I was a Member of Parliament, Jagjivan Ram was serving as the Union Minister for Food and Agriculture. He had travelled to Rome to attend an international conference related to his department.

After his return, the matter came up in Parliament. From the benches of the Utkal Congress, Surendra Mohanty, the Lok Sabha member from Kendrapara, raised a calling-attention motion and began criticising the visit. Jagjivan Babu, with a touch of wit, replied, “I am not quite sure whether the honourable member is speaking about Rome or rum.”

The remark drew laughter, for Surendra Babu—celebrated writer though he was—was also widely known for his fondness for drink. During the Kendrapara elections, a popular slogan had even circulated: “Surendra, Surendra in Kendrapara—one a socialist, one for hire.”

In the 1971 Lok Sabha elections, the contest in Kendrapara had been particularly close. Surendra Nath Dwivedy of the Praja Socialist Party and Surendra Mohanty of the Utkal Congress stood against each other. In the end, Mohanty won—by the narrowest of margins, a single vote. Such was the drama of democracy.

From Rome, my journey next took me to Cairo, then the capital of the United Arab Republic (Egypt). At that time, the country was led by Gamal Abdel Nasser—a towering figure in the Arab world, regarded by many as a liberator and a voice of dignity for his people.

Nasser was also a close friend of Jawaharlal Nehru. Along with Josip Broz Tito, the three of them stood at the forefront of the Non-Aligned Movement, guiding newly independent nations through the uncertain currents of the Cold War.

What struck me most about Nasser was not merely his stature, but his simplicity. Despite being President, he lived in a modest two-storeyed house, leading the life of an ordinary, disciplined, and devout man.

I had long been drawn to Cairo—not only because of Nasser and his revolution, but also because of the ancient pyramids. As fate would have it, the day before my visit, the anniversary of the Egyptian Revolution was being celebrated—a reminder of the country’s transition from monarchy to republic.

I stayed in Cairo for two days, determined to see the pyramids. When I asked the hotel manager how best to get there, he arranged a guide for me, advising that we settle the charges beforehand. A camel was hired, and I set out—riding across the sands—toward one of the world’s most enduring wonders.

Soon, I stood before the Giza Pyramid Complex—those immense triangular structures rising out of the desert like frozen time itself. Among them, the Great Pyramid of Giza remains the most renowned, a monument not just of architecture but of human ambition.

Egypt’s history stretches back into a past so distant that it almost feels mythical—thousands upon thousands of years before Christ. The Pharaohs, anticipating death, built these pyramids as their tombs. Within them, their bodies were preserved with remarkable care—wrapped in layers of cloth and treated with substances that allowed them to endure across millennia.

Many such tombs have since been excavated, revealing mummified remains still intact, silent witnesses to a vanished age. Yet, alongside history, there lingers legend: it is said that those who disturb these resting places invite misfortune—even untimely death. And, strangely enough, there have been occasions when such stories seemed to find unsettling echoes in reality.

Standing there, before those ancient stones, I felt both awe and unease—as if I had stepped, briefly, into the deep and watchful memory of civilization itself.

Returning from the pyramids of Giza, I stood by the window of my hotel and let my eyes rest upon the quiet, flowing beauty of the Nile. It struck me then how often the English, in their time, had altered the names of cities and rivers across the world. The Nile, for instance, they had called “Nile”, while its truer name, as my guide gently corrected me, was simply Neel—the blue river.

When I mentioned the “Nile,” my guide smiled and asked why I used that word at all. “That is an English distortion,” he said. “Its real name is Neel.” And indeed, as I looked at its waters, they seemed clear and faintly blue—much like the Ganga appears in Varanasi during the autumn months. Even the Ganga, he reminded me, had been turned into “Ganges” by the English.

The thought stayed with me. Names like Munger becoming “Monghyr,” Cuttack remaining “Cuttack,” Bhubaneswar once pronounced differently, Calcutta instead of Kolkata, Bombay instead of Mumbai—these were all echoes of a time when language itself had been reshaped by foreign tongues. Some places, like Kolkata and Mumbai, had since reclaimed their original identity, though others still lingered in their altered forms.

My guide frequently used a word—sabr—urging patience, asking me to wait. It was an Arabic word, one that had found its way into Urdu as well. There is a saying built around it: “Sabr ka phal meetha hota hai”—the fruit of patience is always sweet. In that distant land, the familiarity of such words felt strangely comforting.

My stay in Egypt lasted only two days, but within that short time, I visited another remarkable place—the old museum of Cairo. There, the grandeur of ancient Egyptian civilization unfolded before my eyes. Golden statues of the Pharaohs, intricate ornaments, and objects of daily use—all fashioned in gold—spoke of a culture both opulent and enduring.

Among the other notable places were the grand mosque of Muhammad Ali, with its vast domes and imposing structure, and Al-Azhar University, one of the greatest centres of Islamic learning in the world. It was here, I was told, that Maulana Abul Kalam Azad had once studied.

At one point, my guide led me through a narrow lane, famous for Egyptian attar—perfumed oils known for their rich fragrance. “One must buy some attar when visiting Cairo,” he insisted. I obliged, though it seemed to me that, like many guides, he was not entirely free from a touch of commerce.

Two days later, I left Cairo and returned to India via Mumbai, carrying with me memories of an ancient land where history seemed to breathe through every stone and street.

The following year, another journey beckoned. An invitation arrived from the Ford Foundation, under the auspices of the United States government—a two-month visit to America.

About the Book:

From the Translator’s Note

An Unfinished Memoir (Asamapta Atmalipi) by Janaki Ballav Patnaik is more than the recollections of a public figure. It is also a record of the political, social and cultural changes that shaped Odisha and, in many ways, modern India. The memoir takes us through different stages of his life—from childhood and education to journalism, public life and politics. Along the way, we meet the people who influenced him and encounter events that left their mark on the Odisha of his time. The book is valuable not only for its account of public events but also for its glimpses of everyday life. Patnaik writes about teachers, friends, colleagues, political associates and ordinary people, often beginning with a small personal memory and moving towards a larger reflection. This movement between the personal and the public gives the memoir much of its character.

My primary aim in translating the memoir from Odia into English has been to remain faithful to the original while preserving the author’s voice. A translation should convey

more than the literal meaning of words. It should also carry the tone, mood and character of the original. I have therefore tried to retain the simple and reflective quality of Patnaik’s writing, particularly in passages dealing with people, places and memories from his younger years.

Translating a work rooted in Odisha’s language and culture presents its own challenges. Many Odia expressions, idioms and references do not have exact equivalents in English. This is especially true of words associated with local customs, festivals, social practices and everyday life. Where a literal translation seemed inadequate, I have tried to convey the sense and spirit of the original. Certain words, names and cultural references have been retained because translating them would have diminished their flavour or meaning.

I have also tried to preserve the historical character of the memoir. Some political terms, institutional references and descriptions belong to an earlier period of Indian public life. Rather than unnecessarily modernising the language, I have sought to make these passages clear while retaining their original context.

The title Asamapta Atmalipi itself is significant. It suggests a record of the self that remains unfinished. The memoir was left incomplete, and that incompleteness is part of its character. It does not present a neatly concluded life story. Instead, it offers fragments of a long journey—memories, encounters, experiences and reflections that together provide a picture of both the man and his times.

For readers familiar with Janaki Ballav Patnaik, the memoir may bring back memories of an important period in Odisha’s public life. For younger readers, it offers an opportunity to see that period through the eyes of someone who lived through and participated in many of its developments. For readers outside Odisha, it provides an introduction to a political and cultural world that deserves wider attention. No translation can reproduce every shade of another language. There will always be expressions, associations and rhythms that resist being carried across. My effort has simply been to build a bridge between the Odia original and the English reader, without coming between the author and his readers. I hope this translation will allow a wider readership to discover Janaki Ballav Patnaik not only as a political leader, but also as a journalist, observer, traveller and chronicler of his times—and to encounter, through his unfinished memoir, a part of Odisha’s own journey.

About the Author

Janaki Ballav Patnaik (1927-2015) lived in many worlds at once—politics, literature, journalism, and public life. For more than five decades, he remained close to some of the defining events and personalities of post-Independence Odisha, while pursuing a parallel life of books, ideas, and language. ‘An Unfinished Memoir’ is an attempt to look back on that journey. From his childhood and student years to his early political awakening and long career in public life, the memoir brings together people, places and encounters that shaped him.

Unlike a conventional autobiography, this is a personal narrative—insightful, candid and observant of the world around him. It offers glimpses of the making of a public figure while revealing the writer, scholar and observer behind the politician. It is at once a record of a remarkable life and a window into an important period in the history of Odisha and India.

Part memoir, part history and part reflection, the memoir is a cherished account of a life lived in public.

 About the Translator

Bhaskar Parichha is a journalist and author based in Bhubaneswar, with a professional career spanning over three decades. He writes in both English and Odia on politics, society, people, and culture. His work reflects sustained engagement with Odisha’s heritage and its contemporary transformations. An incisive observer of public life, he has authored nine books. Through his journalism and writing, he continues to chronicle the evolving story of Odisha and its place within a rapidly changing India.

[1] Democracy

Categories
Musings of a Copywriter

 Art, Artists & a Copywriter  

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

From Public Domain

Original art works by leading painters and sculptors selling for millions internationally were up for grabs because of the special two-day sale exhibition organised in a leading art gallery. Though it was not something common like an apparel sale, with irresistible buy-one-get-one-free offers that people flock to during the weekends, yet there was a sizeable crowd of potential art buyers who were driven by the prospective gains of making this trek.

The sale exhibition lured art aficionados and investors from business families along with salaried employees from middle-class families who were ready to cancel their annual holiday plans to spend the money on buying an art piece when the share market was topsy-turvy due to global meltdown. Customers who queued up as early as four in the morning had no clear idea of the mystery behind the affordable prices with a modest upper cap. Some of them thought these were slightly damaged art works – much like the rejected export items sold in factory outlets. 

As the famed artists were selling some of their pieces at throwaway prices, it was a golden chance to invest in art at a very affordable budget segment. On a practical note, an artist does not always produce masterpiece after masterpiece so he cannot sell everything at a steep price in the auction house. Some of the greatest artists have created pretty ordinary work before they refined their sensibilities. I reasoned these were some of those amateurish works they could not sell for millions. Instead of stocking them up, they chose to make some money out of their mediocre art pieces. These artworks would probably fetch a good price after their demise so it was wise to pick up the ones from the seniormost artists who would bid us farewell soon and the auction price of their genuine art works would instantly boom.  

What is now a steal would become a handsome deal and fetch millions and make me a millionaire overnight. Since the exhibiting gallery had all the displayed pieces certified as original stuff, I could safely make the investment. Having shortlisted a few names in my mind, I went around the gallery walls glowing with spotlights and enriched with their works and cherrypicked a couple of those without trying to understand the meaning of the art piece. Something abstract always catches attention.

Since there was a heavy rush of potential buyers jostling and pushing each other to lay their hands on their preferred pieces before they vanished, I chose to skate around corners with lesser density of shoppers. The speed with which these paintings disappeared from the walls was amazing. As there was not much to choose from after the top names were sold out, I faced the dilemma of finding the right parameters to finalise from the works of upcoming artists who managed to find display space. There was not much discussion about their commercial potential in the art world to assist buyers to bet on their creativity.

I was left with my instinct and my flawed sense of judgment when I went around in confusion, in search of clarity and finally staked claim on a painting by a lady painter who used a plant to outline the female form in acrylic. I hoped and prayed she would become another Shergill after a decade or two.

The lady at the counter examined my choice and smiled. I did not understand for sure whether her smile indicated approval in this case. Was she feeling happy that I made the right choice? Or she appreciated that I was a worshipper of the female form? She used some highfalutin words of praise on my taste in art and called it a very good purchase. I read it as her support and admiration for my foresight and insight. While the reaction of others around was much less than what is called envy or enthusiasm, they seemed to be more familiar with the name of the artists who was scheduled to arrive at the gallery for promotion of her art works later in the day.

People with limitless knowledge were discussing art works like highbrow critics. As a first-time art buyer, I had no such interest in the richness of the art. The commercial worth was what was keeping me curious. I wanted to grab a few words of praise from them about the artist I had invested in.

I decided to approach an old man and ask him about the potential of the woman painter but he did not show much excitement except making the prediction that I could easily get double the purchase price in the next decade. I was not thrilled to hear this forecast that barely covered inflation. Since I had already made the purchase, I got it packed and prepared to leave with a heavy heart.

While coming out, I was approached by a journalist who thrust the mike in front of me and the cameraman identified me as a buyer and focused on the covered painting in my hand. I was asked what I bought and why. Since I myself knew nothing much, I could not furnish a proper answer except mentioning the name and the price and then wrapping it off with a smile and an urgency to leave as my car had arrived at the gate.

This quick bite made me curious. When the programme was aired late, I found my interview missing. Some other interesting faces were featured. Perhaps the news editor judged me as a worthless, uncouth buyer who was looking for dirty profit and nothing else.

I decided to make the painting the prime showpiece on the wall of my living room. I cast a detailed look at it to find potential but it was beyond my understanding. Whenever a male guest came in, he looked up and admired without offering a reason, making me ashamed of my ignorance while the rest of the people appeared to know a lot about art. Conversation flowed but I kept silent.

Whenever a woman came in, she looked away. I chose to ignore the reactions of my guests and continued to display it with pride and clicked my profile status shots in front of it. Seated on the couch, with the painting in the background forming a clean artistic backdrop, I sported a confident look with a strong impression that I was an art lover though it was far from the truth. I knew I was another one of those pseudo art-lover who claimed to know the world of art inside out but was actually purely a money-minded nerd who was waiting for progress in the status of the painter – to fetch a good market price for her works. I would feel proud that since I have an original piece by the same painter. I could consider myself a rich person who would sell the painting later to invest the proceeds and accumulate a large corpus of retirement funds.

For ten years I waited for the death or disappearance of the painter but she was blessed with a long, healthy life. I checked her health status and she was doing fine. I knew another wait for a decade for her pop-off was on the cards.

When she finally died in a freak accident, I thought the good times had come. I was a mean profiteer who wanted to sell off this art work and make a mega profit.  

I took it to an art gallery and asked how much it would fetch now. The quoted price was well below the expectation. I was asked to keep it with me for another two decades and then see how much it would fetch. I decided to wait till my retirement to calculate whether it would surpass my insurance or provident fund payout. I checked it again but the price, though high, barely crossed the bond returns.

After holding on for so long, I decided to sell the art work in the market. Attracting private collectors meant a tough time with negotiators. I went to the corporate honchos who would pay well. Finally I chose the company I worked for in the past and quoted an exorbitant price for the painting which he negotiated hard like a salary deal and finally handed me a cheque for the acrylic painting which he would proudly display in the corridor near the lobby. Though I did not get my preferred price, I chose to be happy as the investment made after sacrificing one annual holiday trip had made me rich enough to afford an annual holiday for the rest of my retired life.  

                                     

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

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Categories
Stories

My Brother’s Room

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

From Public Domain

Before stepping out of teens, Adarsh, my elder brother, also my father’s favourite son, stepped out of the ancestral house to live in a big city, to pursue higher education and fulfil his dreams camouflaged as the obligations of a responsible child. Hopes were pinned on him, on his powerhouse talent that would make the family gleam with pride one day. Whenever I heard my father praise him to the skies, I felt he was exaggerating like an astrologer.  

Adarsh was not the kind of worthy son my father dreamt of. I remembered his last words before leaving for Bangalore to study engineering: Take care of the family. The way Adarsh said those precise words was conclusive. He would never come back to reside in the small town and shoulder his responsibilities.  

To quote him verbatim would hurt my father deeply, to keep the truth estranged from him would be another kind of excess. I was expecting divine intervention to raise the curtain of his reality – to expose the opportunist lurking in Adarsh. A disappointment or a disagreement would be the ideal trigger to make my doting father examine the other side of his personality.  

Fifteen years passed. His mask remained in place. I did not muster the strength to convey those exact words to my father who would never associate such thoughts with Adarsh. How could he go wrong in the assessment of his own child? Is human nature so misleading?  

For two years, Adarsh had avoided coming home, citing professional compulsions. But my father felt our house lacked five-star amenities to suit Adarsh’s lifestyle. 

I was considered a privileged son who enjoyed a life of comfort at home while the talented son struggled hard in the big, bad world outside. It was the duty of a parent to set the balance right, distribute love and affection equally between the legal heirs, not just the assets. Adarsh was perceived as the deprived child whereas I was the home-based pleasure-seeker exploiting the old man and his pension to meet my survival needs.    

Using his provident fund proceeds, without consulting the family, the remorseful father built another floor and furnished one master bedroom with an attached washroom for his favourite son who came to meet him like an honourable dignitary for a couple of hours, for bear-hugs and to exchange pleasantries. And then returned to spend the night in a luxury hotel suite, around two hundred kms away, where his blonde wife had checked-in. Migratory birds stayed longer than he did and that was precisely what I queried my father about – he never controlled his budget to appease his older son. I questioned him about the urgent need to spend a fortune on the new construction when his health bills were expected to rise.  

He justified it as a modest upgradation he could offer to the son who made him so proud.  “If the entire town respects me today, it is because of your brother, not you,” he hollered, without thinking this could hurt me and strain the muscles of his ageing heart. Sometimes, parents reveal that their love for all children is far from equal. They are the prime architects of partiality in human relationships within the family.   

I realised how demeaning it was to live in the house owned by him. I  was aware of my own incompetence to build a similar house or pay my monthly bills. The roof provided by my father sheltered me along with my weaknesses and failures. Whenever I tried to move out — place myself under the open sky for a while — I was reminded of my actual status in life. As a result, I never challenged parental authority. Every insult that had come my way, I swallowed like mucus trapped in the throat.   

Seeing him suffer emotionally because of Adarsh pained me though nobody expected me to be sensitive in this regard. If I revealed the other side of my brother, I was reminded of my own negligible contribution. I would be accused of trying to drive a wedge between the successful son and his loving father. The reality that he was also my father somehow faded. I was presented more like a dependent step-brother cribbing for his help all the time.  

                                                        *

One day, I decided to disclose everything, oblivious of the outcome. The endless comparisons and insults lent toxicity to my anger. Surprisingly, my father listened to me quietly, without interrupting, immersed in finding good reasons to suspect and match those with his own observations. After several years of living abroad, the image of Adarsh seemed to develop cracks. It was not a development that made me happy though it was necessary at this stage for my own sanity.

Adarsh was expected like a good son to be around his father when he suffered his first heart attack. But he did not rush back home during the emergency. He said he did not get leave and he could not afford to quit. The recycled excuses did not work this time. I was the one by the bedside, arranging medical care, though the bills were later cleared by liquidating his fixed deposits.   

Not finding the ideal son beside him was the reason for his heartbreak. The presence of an under-rated son round the clock was a matter of consolation for the father who had always belittled me. During the period of recovery, he reflected a lot, staring at the false ceiling mirroring his false pride. His sombre voice did not echo love and longing for the son who had deserted him. He came back from the hospital with two stents and a balanced perspective.    

The special room built for my brother was always kept locked. Surprisingly, he offered me the keys and asked me to occupy the room. It was not just another accommodation. It was a sacred space in his heart reserved for Adarsh. That space was now being offered to me as he realised the ‘successful’ son would never get the leave to reach in time to light his funeral pyre. Whereas, this unregistered nominee carrying his DNA and residing for free on his premises would perform the last rites. He had reached this conclusion after introspecting and revising his expectations from high to low. 

He could have had this realisation earlier but he was not able to see the other side without an emotional jolt. I never heard him criticise Adarsh for his shortcomings, for abandoning him in the hour of need. However, the frequent international phone calls and memory recalls turned rare now. He became almost non-existent for him — out of sight, out of mind.

Whenever I tried to mention Adarsh and his family, he changed the topic very quickly, faster than a chameleon changes colour. He seemed to have lost interest in what was going on in his life and career abroad. Or he did not wish to discuss him.    

                                                 *

The day he suggested I should focus on my career and start some business was filled with surprise. He even offered financial assistance. Earlier, he vehemently opposed the idea of business since we belonged to a traditional family of service holders. Now he changed his outlook and made it global, without leaving the shore. Somewhere within he realised that promising careers are not always made abroad or by working for conglomerates alone.

I was well beyond the age to secure a decent job so I chose to become the first member in my family to take the entrepreneurial plunge. I was known as the one who always delivered losses. Yet now, he was not worried about losing his financial investment. He was rather keen to balance himself once again, by trying to favour me, to make amends for ignoring my future since I seemed to lack sparkle in my childhood years. In hindsight, he saw his concentration on Adarsh as a kind of injustice to me. Remorse overwhelmed him. I realised the best way for me to reduce his heaviness was to accept his offer.  His kindness was a kind of balm for my bereaved heart.  

                                              *

On a modest scale, I set up the handicraft export business with his blessings. He broke the auspicious coconut and cut the ribbon at my new office. It took a couple of years for the business to register growth and enable me to repay his loan. My plans to expand and diversify the business – to establish units in the neighbouring states – were on the anvil. The fuel of ambition was clocking good mileage, taking my business in new directions at great speed. 

My father was happy I was doing well for myself. The news reached him through his contact channels that I was invited to attend business summits, to deliver lectures, to receive awards and accolades. His retired friends glorified my initiatives of empowering the rural folks and ‘giving back’ to society. Sometimes he walked into the office and checked out the shelf space reserved for trophies and framed certificates of excellence and merit. He stood in front of the mantlepieces and smiled.  He had heard stories about successful Adarsh. Here he was witnessing the meteoric success of his younger son.

I told him that Adarsh confirmed his visit to India that Diwali. I repeated it louder as he was watering the balcony plants. He showed no eagerness or excitement unlike in the past. I returned the keys of my brother’s fully furnished room he had offered me for personal use. I had not shifted in that space yet so I thought Adarsh could utilise it during his stay.

I was glad he was finally home-bound after a gap of two years – the first trip after the heart attack episode. For a change, he came alone, leaving his family behind. He looked unhappy though he did not share anything with me during the drive from the airport to the outskirts of the city. Only after he saw pictures and the website of my profitable business venture on the phone, he overcame the hesitation to open up his heart and share his current situation.  

“I am ruined, bro, never saw this was coming,” Adarsh said, and wiped off the tears about to trickle down his cheeks. Surely there was some serious problem he was facing as I had never seen him emotionally fragile. I did not appear eager to dig up the details as he would gradually reveal the bruises. It appeared that a lot of stress and distress had piled up in his life during the last two years, about which we knew nothing.  “I am preparing for divorce. My in-laws cheated me, siphoned off investments and she helped them in the loot,” Adarsh dropped the bombshell after regaining his composure. “Sometimes I feel she married me for wealth. Nothing else.”

The financial trouble he was coping with should not reach father, I thought, as he would be affected that his talented son was facing the consequences of betrayal in love and marriage. All I wanted to know from him was how he could be helped out. He disclosed he was planning for an out-of-court settlement first, then to return to India and build his future here.

“Father will be delighted to hear that. Great decision, bhai[1],” I cheered him for revising the plans and shuffling his priorities though it was late to rebuild from a scratch. “Just make sure the divorce thing is kept under wraps for some more time, for the sake of his health. No tension or anxiety.”  

                                                   *

By the time we reached our housing colony, he opened up further. He did not want our father to know anything as the news of his suffering would take a toll on his health. Therefore, he wanted me to lend him financial support. Besides, he did not think he deserved to ask for anything from father as he had let him down with his choices and decisions. He pronounced himself guilty for he had not been a good son. Earlier, I was the one who went through such poor self-assessment. Finally, there was something that made us equal as brothers. 

I parked the car in the outskirts near the primary school we attended together to revive good memories of childhood. We sat near the small pond and reflected on our childhood filled with days of joy and carefree lives. Dropping a pebble and watching the ripples in the water, thinking of a permanent solution to his problem. I gave it a serious thought and offered him equal partnership in my new business though it was not his domain of expertise. With the emerging integration of AI for business profitability, I thought his technological insights would help the business grow here and overseas. Seeing him snowed under genuine regret, I chose to forget the bitter past and assured him of all possible help as a blood brother, just like my father had surprised me with his assistance to rebuild my aimless, broken life. I felt then my decision was right.

                                                 *

Encouraged by my unconditional support, Adarsh snapped all ties with his in-laws and expedited the process of buying freedom by separating from his wife. The greatest joy for any father would be to see both the sons engaged in the same business. The unification and collaboration of the brothers through an act of destiny was the best gift in his old age.

The glowing expression of joy on hearing from Adarsh that he was going to settle down here was the best he could expect, the cherry on the cake. When he was asked why came alone after so long, he quoted a philosophical line to convey the universal truth, without revealing the truth of his personal life.   

Whenever he was asked about his family again, he told the same story: she cannot come here with him because of her job obligations. Though the divorce thing was not specified, our father was not a fool to miss reading the faultlines on his glum face. He expected Adarsh to reveal it all on his own at the right time, whenever that was. 

The special room meant for my brother was finally allotted to him. He was not told anything about the expenses incurred to make it luxurious. When Adarsh saw my ordinary room and compared the two, he realised there was still something special for him in his father’s heart. Finding me helpful, he offered space in the room. But I refused to sleep there. I thought I did not deserve the special room yet.  My father came around later and asked me why I had not utilised that room when he had given me the keys. I said I was not used to such luxurious living.

Adarsh was living with us now though Dad tried to be cold and impersonal all the time. Whenever Adarsh asked about his daily medicines, he said I was put in charge of administering the doses. All the reports and prescriptions were in my custody, including the blood pressure monitoring gadget. Adarsh got the subtle message that health issues should not bother him now – the critical stage was thankfully over. 

As Adarsh became busy with the business and helped me expand to the nearby states and overseas, my father was happy I was helping my brother with the equal partnership offer. He was discovering the goodness of the neglected son who built his life and business on human values and relationships. I had a slow start, but once it took off there was no looking back.   

As the business grew well, and Adarsh became the visible face of the company. I chose to be eclipsed as a founder while he was all over the media for making it a global company. Just as my father was neglected as the investor who helped start a company that had now become a sensation. It was fine to be neglected here and there. Because the self is less important than the outcome. When  Adarsh wanted to open an overseas branch in California, where he lived, I was supportive as he had a strong client network there. He thought it would help us grow more.

He approached our father to convince me to make it the head office.  

“Settle it between the two of you, no mediation required from my end,” was how he responded to end his request.

I was beginning to sense Adarsh was planning to move out of the country again, empowering me to handle domestic operations while he wanted absolute control of the overseas business in the US and Europe. Frankly speaking, it was good that an Indian company was going global and making waves abroad. I saw no reason to reject his plan. Since I had already made him my equal partner, he had an equal say in the running of the business. Being more qualified and experienced than me, he could take the business to global heights.  

Our father had dreams of our success and this was the best way to make that happen during his lifetime. Given his health condition, we should dissolve our minor differences and become a source of joy for him.

I agreed to let Adarsh execute his global vision. My father felt I was more than a brother to him. I took no credit as the business truly belonged to our father who invested at a crucial time when there was no other source of funding. He helped me set up a small business and Adarsh was my dear brother who expanded it. He deserved full credit for that, from local to going global.   

                                                        *

As the divorce formalities were about to begin, Adarsh started preparing for his return. Within a year of staying in the house, in the special room constructed for his comfort, he decided it was time to move out. I did not want him to reveal anything about his marital discord and he honoured that promise. Our dinner-time discussions were all about business and our father never spoke a word about his marriage.

Our father was upset to hear about his departure, though he did not express his displeasure. He was perhaps thinking both his sons would stay with him forever, forgetting that Adarsh had a family abroad and they were also waiting for his return. Although Adarsh was leaving home, he consoled himself with the thought, that his sons were united. The sibling bond that had been missing all these years was firm now. 

Adarsh vacated his room. He handed over the keys to me in the presence of our father, asking me to occupy the space forever, informing me that the cool breeze through the open windows on the southern side helped  sleep well without the need for the air-conditioner.  

At the time of leaving for the US again, he was grateful to the family for their timely support. When he reached there, he was a completely changed person. His first phone call was not about safe landing or the business development there. He chose to discuss the split of our family property and he wanted his share of the house since he needed to buy a new apartment there. He spoke about his meeting with real estate brokers and local promoters who were ready to buy our ancestral house during his stay at our residence. This was another deceptive face of Adarsh. I had given him the best offer to rebuild his life and he was discussing how I could persuade our father to sell the house and buy a small flat for ourselves.

 “You are not going to marry and start a family now. But I wish to marry again and begin my second innings. My son will be the ultimate nominee.” 

The man with tears in his eyes just a year ago could not be so selfish. I refused to believe he was the same Adarsh. He did not update me about the divorce and his remarriage. Just forwarded a few pictures of his new bride and sought my blessings. The speed of his execution was incredible. How could I tell our father that his son went back to divorce and remarry? How could I tell him that he wanted his share of the ancestral property as well? It was a dilemma for me. Sometimes I worried about the outcome of offering him partnership. He could gain control and split the business in his favour.

I reminded him he was doing well now so he could buy a house there with his earnings instead of forcing an aged parent to sell the house. He said he was not going to come back again and, after our father’s death, he would not like to get into litigation issues with me. I refused to compel our father to sell the property for Adarsh.

I was ready to transfer him the share of proceeds he needed from the sale of the house property after mutual discussion. “Consider the house sold and take the money and give me the signed, notarised legal papers specifying that you have got everything from our family.”  

“Done.”

I gave Adarsh the full control over the overseas handicrafts business since he was leading it well. I slowed down my pace of work and spent more time with our father who was not keeping well. He noticed my growing aloofness from the business and I had to specify that Adarsh was handling it better than me.

 “You supported your brother in so many ways. You gave everything he needed to rebuild his life and his personal setbacks were kept secret.”

He praised me to the skies for the first time with affectionate words, “You are a gem of a person. A wonderful human being. I am proud of you. Parents can also go wrong in understanding their own children. I am the best example to quote.”    

The words I never got to hear were echoing in my ears for the first time. He gave me a warm, tight bear hug, the one I always saw between Adarsh and him.  

I was wondering how my father learnt our secrets. When I pressed for the source, he chose to withdraw into a shell. Like a good journalist, he never revealed how he got to the core. He was glad he realised the worthlessness of Adarsh as a son, as a husband. He defended Adarsh’s first wife, saying he could not solely blame her for the breakup when there are so many flaws in his own son. “I do not want him to attend my funeral. And I will not give him a single penny of my savings. A hopeless son, a thankless brother who did not stay grateful to the person who helped him rebuild his life after divorce and financial loss. Tell him, this house will never be sold. It will become a public library.”  

I told him to forget about Adarsh and his intentions. I suspected the local land sharks had contacted my father in my absence. I had already given up the controlling rights in the company and got his signature on the property papers. I showed my father the legal documents. Adarsh’s claims of ownership on this house had ceased to exist.  

My father was glad that I had done exactly what he would have done. It was the first time I heard him speak glowingly about me: “I have only one son.”    

The room meant for Adarsh was still  kept locked – I never used it even though the keys were with me. It was a museum piece of sorts. My father insisted I should use it. But I did not want to be the substitute, a usurper of sorts. Sometimes I entered to clean the room and think of my lost brother for nowhere else in the house were his memories stored.  

                                                    *

One day before my father died, he had asked me to open the special room. He looked at the pictures and smiled wistfully, trying to remember when these were clicked. I helped him fill up the gaps in his memory.  He sat on the bed and looked outside the window, feeling the gentle breeze unsettle the tuft of grey hair on his forehead. Adarsh had a habit of putting it back in place. No such hand came forward to take of that.

                                               *

I did not invite Adarsh to attend the funeral as per my father’s last wish. After the rites were over, ashes immersed in Haridwar, I informed him without mentioning the date of death and received a prompt message citing his problem to attend the cremation. He said he would organise a prayer meet in California and asked me to send a nice, smiling photograph of our dear father.

The burden of not informing him on time was off my chest as his response time indicated he would not have flown back to attend the cremation.  

My father had realised his mistake during his lifetime and made amends. I chose to maintain my brother’s room as a closed space. I was sure if another mishap happened in his life, Adarsh would come back to seek support from the family, to take the keys of this special room to hide himself.

I handed over almost the entire business to him, retaining only a minor share for my basic needs. I never interfered in his decisions except when he delayed payments to the local craftsmen, artisans, and weavers or applied cost-cutting and retrenchment techniques as a corporate predator outsourcing traditional pieces of art and craft from the rural belt.  

I continued to call it my brother’s room though I preserved it as a loving memory of my father. Adarsh had sold me his share of the property but I knew he would stake claim to it after my death. To prevent that from happening, I was left with the option of giving it a trust that would set up a library, like my father had wished to do. I went ahead with the formalities and started stocking books as my contribution. The upper floor was converted into a reading zone – except my brother’s room. I wanted to see a functional library during my lifetime so I let the trust take it over and begin the good work immediately. A marble bust of my father was installed and garlanded at the entrance, with a clear mention of his full name. The entire property became a public library.

My brother’s room was kept locked with a clear instruction to the trustee that in case a gentleman called Adarsh ever came here and sought refuge, he should be allowed to stay there as long as he wished to. Without any questions or objections.

I came out of the main gate and stood still for a while, gazing at the house of memories, at the nameplate announcing the late owner’s name. I stood under the open sky without fear or worries. I cast one final look at my brother’s room with closed windows on the upper floor. The rush of memories made me walk through life alone, looking at the blue sky and the fallen leaves on the pavement.  

[1] Brother

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access Wild Winds: The Borderless Anthology of Poems

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Categories
Musings of a Copywriter

Riverside Reflections

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

From Public Domain

I was eating a protein energy bar by the riverside, looking at the serene flow of water and absorbing the positive vibes. I find this therapy more potent and relaxing than meditating as the evil faces of my enemies appear in front of my closed eyes, dancing with swords and breaking my concentration.

When it comes to letting things go, the riverside is the ideal spot. It carried the ashes of my beloved parents and since then I believe it can carry almost everything from life — including guilt, burden, failures, and memories. With less philosophical ramblings about spiritual encounters associated with ghats, I would like to share some interesting takeaways the riverside trip offered.   

The sight of lovers stretching and entwining their legs on the steps leading to the river, hiding their faces under the black umbrella, kindles the desire to emulate their masked boldness. Before I can soak in their leisure moments of passion and pleasure, I am scared to imagine the consequences of a disagreement between the couple, with one of the immature lovers suddenly getting up and jumping into the river. What I tried not to think about has happened in a jiffy. Reality imitates imagination or it is the power of manifestation at work.   

I consider this to be a hasty act of suicide committed in a tearing hurry to exit this painful world. A few minutes later, his hand becomes visible like a party symbol trying to stay afloat. He swims to the shore and flaunts his survival skills, going against the tide, against the flow, with the girl clapping and cheering for him. She offers him a chocolate as a token reward of acceptance and plants a kiss on his cheek with her hands cupping his wet face. Her black umbrella grabs the chance to take flight like a broken kite for a while and then tumbles down the stairs to join the mighty river. Another bystander tries to clutch the black umbrella and he himself slips and slides into the river, shouting for help.

I sit wondering whether this is a classic example of extra dark humour. How a stranger meets his tragic end while trying to save an umbrella and the couple engaged in kissing remains totally unaware of how their umbrella has led to a death by drowning in front of them while they celebrated love and union.   

Trained swimmers dived in at last but it was too late to rescue the man alive. Cops descended on the scene to launch a raid – to arrest the lovers engaged in obscene activities but they were burdened with the boring job of identifying the victim and gathering witnesses and evidence to prove it was not a case of accident but a cold-blooded murder.

I became engrossed in what I had seen before me. My relaxation gave way to creativity as I began to imagine fresh ways of interpreting this episode. The lovers staged a futile attempt to escape from the riverside. The police chased them to gather an account of how this had happened. They could not reconstruct the scene as they had seen nothing. They did not confess they were lost in amorous activities in a public place. The girl showed nervousness when the cops threatened to inform her family.

It was getting dark. The guy feared torture and arrest. He became selfish and was ready to forget the girl forever if he was set free. His folded hands praying for release melted the senior officer’s heart and the lover who made tall promises seemed to run for his life and freedom.

As he ran fast without looking back at the girl, the sleeping dog on the bench woke up and chased him faster than the obese cops could have managed. Before he could exit the park gate, his leg was bitten by the dog. Perhaps it was karma instantly paying him back for deserting his beloved in the hour of crisis. He limped out of the park and hired a rickshaw to take him to the nearest hospital.

The dog came wagging its tail to celebrate the triumph. The aftertaste of a fleshy leg bite kept his salivating tongue hanging loose. A beggar boy in a torn shirt shared his biscuits with the dog while a young influencer made a reel out of his act of kindness for millions of viewers to boost his own income.

The cops grilled the girl in the park. Other people loitering around were asked if they had seen anything. Though I had seen it all, I did not utter a single word to avoid interrogation. The girl was clever to embroil me. She said I was a key witness who saw what had happened, right from the start till the end.

I told them just like the guy, the girl was also innocent. My brief testimony set the girl free. She rushed forward and hugged me to thank me from the bottom of her heart. So heartfelt that the cops found reason to suspect something fishy again. Her behaviour gave inconsistent signals.

The cops were under the impression – before I confirmed anything – that the girl and her lover had brought the victim, who was probably her groom, and then she pushed him into the river to get rid of him forever. Their theory was a possibility as there were similar incidents recorded in the recent past. I dismissed all of that like a prime investigator and the cops believed every single word of the narrator. Nobody in my family had ever believed me so fast, without a shred of doubt.  Did I speak the entire truth or had I concocted a portion of it?

The baton-wielding cops quit the hot pursuit to nab the murderer at the crime spot and went away with the dead, bloated body zipped up in a white plastic cover along with an unidentified black umbrella as a piece of circumstantial evidence and registered it as a freak accident due to negligence.  

The girl started abusing the guy who deserted her. Then she changed her stance. She thanked her stars she got the chance to identify a coward. She fell in love with my brutal honesty and expressed gratitude for defending her and proclaiming her innocence in front of the cops. It restored her faith in humanity.

As she was alone, she asked me to drop her home, which was not very far. I told her she could have asked the cops for a lift in the van. She said she did not trust them. Besides, alighting from a police van would have raised family suspicions. Here was a stranger, a young girl, completely trusting me without knowing anything about me.

I was feeling elated with this booster dose as nobody in my life, neither my bosses nor my publishers, exhibited such absolute trust. I decided to accompany her and drop her at the entrance gate. I thought she would invite me in and introduce me to her family as a saviour of sorts. I was thinking of such positive things when there was a phone call. She said I need not bother as her brother was already looking for her. She gave him the riverside address and he came on his motorbike soon. She knew she was not going to find me again but she forgot to ask for my contact details. I told her I come here every evening around this time. I was confident she would be there the next day.  

I went to the riverside at the same time with the fond hope to meet her. She did not turn up. I repeated riverside visits for seven consecutive days like a penance. Then I decided to stop as it was causing undue stress. What was supposed to be the equivalent of meditative experience had added to my anxiety. I was always reminded of her, whenever I saw a girl with a black umbrella seated on the steps.   

A week later, she came to the same place and sat beside me on the bench. I was taking a nap. She waited for me to wake up. When I opened my eyes, I saw her smiling face. She was restless to share a lot just as I was eager to know about her long absence. 

I wanted to know if everything was proceeding well in her life. Without answering me, she confessed she knew I came here every day. The beggar boy — an untrained spy(?) – had told her.

I was wondering why she did not show up earlier. She said she was waiting for the outcome of her divorce proceedings before meeting me with a proposal. The case was put in abeyance, if not dismissed, since her husband went missing and nobody from his family living overseas suspected he was dead. His horoscope predicting a long life prevented them from jumping to any conclusion. She was busy with legal consultations. The unclaimed body recovered from the river was finally consigned to flames by the riverside. This was another abrupt turn of events – beyond my imagination. But this was her side of the story.   

She was young and married and divorced and probably widowed. I asked her how she would like to live the rest of her life. She said she was required to wait for seven years before she could tie the knot. A live-in relationship was okay for her as she had inherited sufficient wealth to support herself.

She was quick to respond with a decent proposal, checking out if I was free and willing for a live-in stint for seven years. I told her I was a writer working on a big, fat novel and for this arrangement she would have to support me financially on a salary basis. She approved that instantly and chose to call it a conditional love affair with full mutual benefits. Much better than unconditional love that comes with more baggage.

I felt relaxed now as my prime worry of financial support for the next decade was taken care of by her. I decided I could lock myself in a room for seven long years to complete the magnum opus without the haunting fear of commercial failure. Sometimes both of us could come and sit by the riverside in the evening for the sake of nostalgia, down memory lane and also meet the beggar boy and the sleeping dog on the bench.   

I disclosed to her that I was stuck in a key character development and I wanted to make it breathe. I planned an evening near the riverside. But she refused to go to the riverside again.

I escaped domestic confinement and ventured out for riverside reflection alone. I saw many couples in intimate postures in the presence of strangers. I wanted to take a boat ride and looked for an able-bodied boatman who could anchor safely. As we reached the middle of the river, dark grey clouds gathered in the horizon and the boatman said we should return to the shore.

When I came back and reached the steps, I saw my live-in standing alone by the river. She asked me who I had come with. I said I was alone. She asked the boatman for the full truth after giving him a handsome tip. He said I dropped the special lady guest on the other side of the river and then came back. For the lure of a bribe, the boatman put me in a difficult situation.  

She came home without creating a scene and wanted to know who was Niru in my story. I called her a character in my imagination but she called it my past. She suspected she was the same lady the boatman referred to. There was a clear mention of the girl who crossed the river to meet her lover in the story in the making. I was trapped in my own creation.

I said the river takes everything from you, whatever clings to you. She did not get the layered meaning and cried a lot over my betrayal. I told her since we were not married, she should not get emotional. We were just in a temporary phase of togetherness and then separation was bound to follow. She found it impossible to accept compromises and demanded loyalty while I raised a parallel demand for a life without suspicion. We were like the two banks of the river that could never meet.

She promised she would not let me complete the novel so that my fate continued to hang in balance. She began to make it happen and, within a year, I noticed my creative burnout and slow down with useless chores and nonsensical issues. Seven years passed, the novel remained incomplete and she was delighted to have won. I was offered another lifeline of extension for seven years and I chose to avail this chance and bring my novel to a definite end.  

In case I could not manage to do so, I would go to the riverside and immerse the incomplete manuscript. Like the river carried my all, let the stories also perish in its flow and find a new direction.

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access Wild Winds: The Borderless Anthology of Poems

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Categories
Musings of a Copywriter

The Sherwani and Me

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

What will you do with the sherwani? Do you think you’ll wear it again?  You remember you haven’t tried it once in the past ten years. Why don’t you start wearing it as an overcoat in winters? Have you decided to keep it as a relic or what? Can’t you see it is occupying so much of the wardrobe space? Will the shoulders fit? Why don’t you just donate it now? A barrage of such questions left me wondering how to answer with brevity and conviction.

The wedding lehnga with heavy brocade work was also consuming plenty of almirah space. It was also not used once in all these years. But it was not gifted to any needy woman tying the nuptial knot with unfulfilled dreams of wearing a lehnga on her wedding day. It was preserved with care and concern, with naphthalene balls placed in the corners of the almirah to save it from damage. I had never raised these queries but my sherwani emerged as a prime piece of shimmery clothing that attracted her critical attention. I had a nagging feeling that she was planning for its ouster. I had to chalk out an emergency plan for its occasional, if not regular, use to ensure that she lost interest in my royal outfit forever.  

Since I did not attend wedding receptions because I expected to be welcomed and treated like the groom everywhere, I did not get the scope to wear the sherwani. Many friends — esteemed and otherwise — of the groom wore the sherwani. It was considered perfectly stylish. To revive the old tradition, I went to attend a wedding reception in the local area where I was told by some jealous acquaintances that my sherwani appeared odd and outdated. I looked around to scan the truth. I discovered that I was the only prominent guest wearing the nawabi sherwani while the rest of the invitees looked dashing in their ill-fitting formal blazer suits with printed neckties.

I could not manage a makeover at this stage. I chose to stay dressed in the sherwani and gulped the refreshments from various stalls. My mood and attitude and self-confidence got a tremendous boost when the sherwani invited a second look from the decked-up gorgeous aunties who recalled my wearing the same outfit on my wedding day. They seemed to discuss either my poverty or my simplicity, thanks to their good memory. Poor fellow, he has not saved enough to buy a new wedding outfit in these all years. Look, such a simple, down-to-earth guy who does not flash his wealth.

My wife probably overheard their conversation about my professional shortcomings. She came rushing to escort me and proposed we should leave the wedding hall before someone mistook me for a struggling salt-and-pepper haired poet and asked for a sher-o-shairi [1]session in the mehfil[2].  

My wife had no idea my sherwani would be remembered here as a stunning piece. I rejected her proposal to retreat after greeting the newly-wed couple on the stage. I claimed to be a more charming, well-dressed guy so I chose to hang around the place and observe the reactions of the crowd, get more photographs clicked as a doting couple more photogenic than the newly-weds.

She held my arm in front of the cameras and felt elated that my sherwani still garnered attention. It suited me more than any other formal suit. There were many people who were seeing me for the first time and the element of newness gave me a winning edge in their instant appraisal of well-dressed men present at the venue.  

On the way home after dinner, she surprised me with her request, urging me not to wear the antique piece again when I went out with her. Most of her friends had already seen me in this sherwani. Repetition reveals a lot about financial compulsion was her subtle message. I assured her that my sherwani would never become a source of embarrassment.

There were very few occasions I went out alone for parties. Yes, I went to the market for daily errands, to the bank for withdrawals, to the post office for booking speed post articles. I should make it a habit to wear the sherwani like a casual piece of clothing and wear it off fast to get rid of it at the earliest. I chose not to keep it safe from coffee stains or sauce spill-over while eating burgers or noodles.

Besides, what you start wearing something every day, it loses the tag of being fancy and special. It breeds familiarity and ordinariness. At least that is what I used to think then. Dump it in the laundry box for a normal machine wash instead of taking it gently packed in a carton to the gentle drycleaner.   

Along expected lines, I went to a bank for a transaction. The teller was amused to see me dressed in a sherwani on a sunny, sultry day. Are you attending some function today? He was trying to find a justification for the attire. I said I was just trying to feel the vibe of being a nawab even though my pocket made me feel like a pauper every day. The bank staff broke into peals of laughter and declined to clear the cheque because of insufficient balance in the account. I laughed out loud to confirm the truth of my joke.

I came out dejected, rejected, and chose to walk to the nearby chemist store to buy OTC pills for gastric relief. The florist in the corner beckoned me and sold a rose bud for the sherwani. Now you look smart, he said and charged me ten rupees for the unnecessary accessory. I changed my mind and began to walk home instead of visiting the chemist who would refuse me to identify me as a patient in my present avatar.

I told my wife that the sherwani was likely to foment trouble in my rather peaceful life. She argued it was nice to be spotted in a sherwani in the summer. My sherwani would enable me to establish my secular credentials with ease. She asked me to ignore people and their silly reactions even though she herself had not managed to do that yet. When the husband had already mastered the art of ignoring her volley of queries with a deafening silence, I could easily manage to fob off everything criticism that came my way. A revelation of her offended sentiments put me on the mute mode once again.    

One fine morning, I chose to visit the farmer’s market. They looked at me with distrust, perhaps thinking I was a zamindar who came to exploit them again. The sherwani continued to be identified as an aristocratic dress long associated with the wealthy royals so they chose to vent their suppressed anger on me without realising that the prosperous working middle-class had already hijacked this dress and changed the old narrative and perception.  

They increased the rates of fruits and vegetables to deliver a good lesson loaded with revenge for the atrocities perpetrated by the landed class over the centuries. My appearance in a sherwani provided them with a token opportunity to go hammer and tongs. I found myself poorer when I came back and I felt I should have gifted my sherwani to them to pacify their agitated minds. By taking it off in front of them I would have expressed solidarity with their struggle to expose the exploitative rich.

I confessed to her I couldnot remain in peace when I wore the sherwani in a public space. Finally, I decided to gift it to a young associate about to marry since I thought it would be expensive to order a new one. He refused to accept my sherwani and confirmed his choice of a Western suit, which he had already ordered by paying through his credit card. The sherwani was still quite a wearable, elegant dress and many heroes on the big screen wore it when they danced to woo the heroines during marriage functions. But he wanted to wear what his big boss in office wore every day.  

As a writer, I was made of sterner stuff. So, I decided to make a grand statement of style once again. I added a pen apart from a rose to glam up the appeal. I chose to board the bus or local train wearing my sherwani. Fellow passengers gave a weird look along with ample space to sit comfortably. They looked interested to have a conversation with me to know my pursuit. I said I am a writer who was currently visiting various places to gather material for his new work.

They were ready to accept me as a tourist from the other side of the border. One gentleman beside me asked if I wrote in Urdu or Persian. I said I write in plain English and he shot back with a suggestion that I should wear a coat and necktie like an Englishman.

I tried to sound smart by contending that the suit has already been usurped by corporate honchos and the necktie is a definite sign of slavery in modern times. My non-conformist views did not win instant approval from my fellow passengers who wanted to know my destination and my works. I wanted to share everything I could but the conductor in the meantime announced that my stop was nearby. I chose to get up quickly. My sherwani was damaged atlast! This set me free of the burden. I realised the sherwani was helping me understand the other way people tend to think about dress code.  

Making the sherwani a less celebrated wear by using it casually on ordinary days did not lead to any decline in its appeal as the older people still took note of it and reacted to it. Within a few months of regular use, it gathered lots of stains and spots. She assigned the job of making it squeaky clean to the dry cleaner. I was surprised to see her attempt to refurbish it.

Was it proposed to reduce her burden or was it a sure sign of her emotional attachment? My mind was still tumbling in confusion. When he saw the condition, he said he had not seen such a dirty sherwani in all his life. It was like a piece of everyday clothing, catching dust and grime all the time, wondering if I was posted in a mining area.  

I confessed it was indeed my preferred dress as I wore it often, almost like a standard uniform whenever I went for shopping or dining. He advised me to wear it occasionally to protect it and keep it safe in a plastic cover or else it would lose the shine with frequent cleaning attempts. He pointed at the worn collar. I showed no interest as my lacklustre life would not suffer if the sherwani suffered a loss of sheen. At least my better half would get a logical ground to discard it or exchange it for a kitchen utensil piece.

When I finally saw both the fancy dress items, Sherwani and Lehnga, packed and restored and displayed together in the wardrobe smelling fragrant like fresh rose, I was convinced that our marital bond had got a fresh lease of life.  

[1] Poetry recitation session

[2] Party

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access Wild Winds: The Borderless Anthology of Poems

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Categories
Musings of a Copywriter

On Consulting a Physician

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

From Public Domain

As one grows older, there is a growing concern about failing health even if no major health issues are detected. Anything that causes a minor aggravation calls for a timely consultation to prevent complications later. Driven by the lure of preventive benefits, I chose to visit a general physician for the comforting thought that a medical practitioner was checking my pulse, monitoring my blood pressure and oxygen levels, pricking my finger for sugar spike, and noting the abnormalities on the electronic gadgets under his control. While he carried out the standard procedural check-ups for deviations, I was finding it difficult to trust these devices just like the opposition political parties cannot trust the EVM for accurate polling results. Since the readings confirmed my overall good health, I ruled out the need to worry about the hidden, undetected alarms ticking away like a time bomb in my system.

I cannot keep my mouth shut when I am in the presence of a doctor – I end up sharing minor details that do not add up to anything significant. My talkative disposition irritates the doctor as he is bombarded with piles of information that prevents him from completing a quick diagnosis. He gets mired in the sea of irrelevant information so most of the medical practitioners, including my dentist, prefer specific, short answers instead of long, rambling inputs.

There is a sense of healing in opening up ones heart in front of doctors but, unfortunately, they do not understand this angle. The catharsis of sorts soothes the mind and the patient feels relieved much before popping the prescribed pills. In one such case, I observed the doctor threatened that he would refer me to the couch of a psychiatrist if I was so fond of conversing. It was a brazen attempt to silence my voice inside his chamber and meekly accept the prescription and walk out.

My attempt to praise his handwriting – even though it was a classic example of illegible scrawl – did not bring a smile on the doctor’s face that resembled the dull visage of a chronic depression patient battling negative thoughts. I had noted the model of the car with doctor’s sign parked outside the chamber and admired his choice in terms of mileage and pickup. Whenever a patient tries to cheer up and behave like a normal person, perhaps the doctor feels a sense of creeping discomfort that he is examining someone who looks healthier than him.

Taking off the shirt in front of a male doctor and his assistant feels like performing in a stripper’s club. Usually, I oppose this assault on my dignity but when there is a need to test or inject, I have to expose. I prefer to be properly clothed with protective innerwear since I do not have a gym-trained body to stoke envy in any gender.

The sagging flesh around the waist and the bulging tummy reminds me of the need to land up on the weighing machine that moves rapidly before stabilizing itself to indicate I am overweight by twenty kilos at least. Wearing a smart watch that calculates the heart rate while a doctor feels my pulse seems like a gross distrust of his expertise. While the doctor writes the pulse rate is normal, the smart watch reads it as elevated. Finally, reposing full faith in what the doctor records, I choose to consider the smart watch as a fun object which you use when you feel something throbbing within all of a sudden.

During a recent visit to a general practitioner who had never set up a private clinic practice before his retirement as a doctor in the railways, I finally woke up to his operational modesty inside a non-airconditioned cubicle sliced off from a chemist store and separated by a curtain. That the medical store hoped to sell more medicines based on his prescriptions was obvious.

This doctor was also known to generally avoid antibiotics and write mild, affordable medicines to prevent side-effects on health and monthly budget. His low consultation fees made him affordable for the middle-class patients. Earlier, he was entitled to a fixed monthly income but now he was enjoying the daily inflow of money to buy fuel and fruits. Even though he did not attract more than twenty patients in a day, he was punctual in attending the chamber in the morning and the evening for six days in a week. This availability of a doctor every day in the same location improved his connection with the local people. He was initially recommended by a friend of mine who said he was dependable for common ailments like seasonal cold and cough, gastric problems, and viral fever. I wanted to promote him as my family doctor but the plan was put on hold. My association with him began for a minor complication that did not resolve with self-medication with over-the-counter drugs.   

My visit did not go down well as it appeared I had irritated him by showering fake praises on his line of treatment. He asked me to stick to my problem. I began by clarifying I did not suffer from constipation throughout my life, that the frequent trips to the loo made me think I suffered from irritable bowel syndrome. This was a medical term I had picked up from online medical sites after matching the syndromes. I was under the impression that his irritation peaked with my self-diagnosis and he was going to throw me out of his chamber where I was seated on a wobbly wooden stool. His own hearing was low as he lowered his left ear to bring it closer to my mouth to follow me clearly. I noticed a fancy aid much smaller than an ear-pod tucked behind to amplify his hearing.

My quick clearance update had no effect on him as he broke his silence with a different query related to bloating.  He simplified it by using the word gas though I had already gathered its meaning. I needed time to decide whether I was bloated. He asked for my full name and age and began to write the prescription. I disturbed his thought process by adding another complication related to blood pressure. I told him I also thought that my BP became high when I am stressed or anxious. I clarified my diet was low on salt. I began to explain what I ate every day, the butter intake and caffeine intake, adding unhealthy snack items from my menu.

The patients waiting outside must have heard the loud listing of samosas, chops, and oily chips and imagined my current situation. Caring two hoots for my narrative, he resumed writing the prescription while I played a bit of tabla on my tummy to show him whether it was making any sort of sound that he could identify with a medical condition in case he heard it properly. But it was nothing more than a case of empty vessels sounding much. While the doctor ignored it, this was my playful attempt to stay relaxed in front of him. He wrote three medicines and started to explain in his soft voice how I should take them. It was hard to understand what he said in his low voice and that made me doubt my own hearing capacity. I noticed he did not prescribe any test at this stage. I wondered if he should have sent me for ultrasound. This fear was grounded when he ignored my crazy musical indulgence and signed off the prescription, asking me to report after a month again. I took a detailed look at it, understanding it was mentioned as a confirmed case of fatty liver. I wanted to opt for google pay but he insisted on cash, unwilling to share his scanner in the fear of being scammed. Since I had consumed a lot of his valuable time, he pressed the calling bell to ask for the next patient. 

As I stomped out of the chamber, the chemist grabbed the prescription from my hand. He fished out those prescribed pills from the plastic boxes placed on the lower shelves and calculated the total payable price after a nominal discount. Since it was relatively low, I managed to buy the stock for the entire month. He specified the time for the medication and there were also ‘after-food’ and ‘before-food’ labels on the packets. When I came home and tried to google their composition, I found the doctor had added a psychiatric pill that is common in treating bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. I wanted to grab him by the collar to ask him why he put me on brain-related drugs as it could slow down my creativity and ruin my fledgling business by keeping me asleep most of my time.

The chemist explained that brain-gut health is interlinked and any disturbance in the gut could generate a counter-effect on the brain. Since they could not be discontinued as per my will and required medical guidance in lowering the dosage first, I dumped the entire pack in the dustbin when he refused to give me a refund. I had annoyed this doctor so much that he thought the best way to punish me was to give me a strong mental dose to contain my erratic mood swings and sudden bursts of laughter noted down as the key symptoms of an unsound mind that mirrored emotional upheaval inside.  

Thirty days later I went again but this time I began with a fresh complaint of worms, those small intestinal worms causing embarrassing itching in public spaces after consuming sweets and chocolates. I showed him graphically using my index finger the approximate size of the ultra slim white worms I had seen moving gently in the mound of poop. Such a vivid description made the doctor feel outraged and he stopped my narrative by writing down a pill for use for two consecutive days and then repeating the same dosage after three weeks.

He wrote this medicine on the reverse side of the old prescription and then proceeded to ask me if I had seen any improvement in my previous complication. I said I could not confirm much improvement, but there was no deterioration either. The status quo prevailed and I laughed out loud which offended him again, making him infer once again I was a mentally deranged fellow who needed psychiatric help.

I paid him with a soiled note and spoiled his mood. He said I could safely continue the pills for another month but I need not return since I had no faith on him. I thought I should have confessed I did not consume his mental health pills even for a day. And the ones for fatty liver were herbal supplements that I was willing to donate to the pharmacy. Why did I make him write prescriptions when I had no intention of consuming his pills and capsules?  Was that a practice exercise for him or a test of his competence?

His clients included older adults who felt comfortable discussing their hernia and bladder health. He wanted to test the strength of his diagnosis without relying on medical tests. Although he failed in this objective, he seemed to have made this a habit. He sounded eager to confirm a disease before the report confirmed it. Many other patients were caught in this trap as his diagnosis did not always match with the test reports conducted late after his experimentation had ended in a fiasco.   

Some months later, I went to consult him again since he was easily available without a long wait. I told him about my neck problem due to improper sitting posture and he wrote some herbal pills and asked me to go for an x-ray as it was a clear case of spondylosis. I shared a few symptoms but he said I did not need a collar yet. When the x-ray econfirmed there was a mild lordosis, he looked happy as he had guessed it right after a long time. A clear case of hitting the bull’s eye on the basis of his medical instinct developed over the decades!

He directed me to consult a physiotherapist and undergo sessions of neck movement exercises for long-term relief and suggested ergonomic back support for better cervical alignment. He advised I should cut down on cold items like sherbet and ice cream. I was asked not to carry heavy objects. But I needed to handwash two buckets of clothes every day for my daily exercise and carry large bags of fruits and vegetables every week. He warned me to cross streets carefully and avoid sudden turning of the neck, to reduce strain and contain the symptoms of vertigo in this ailment. But the sudden appearance of beautiful women on the roads made me forget this alert.

I applied almond oil to relax my muscles and made it a habit to take slow turns like a robot. Much of this was not documented but doled out as verbal advice from a senior doctor who seemed to regret his past misdemeanor.

I chose to exit before he could press the bell this time as I heard the voice of a woman patient waiting outside with a bawling baby to seek urgent consultation. I gave a fake smile and stood up to leave, not ready to wait for his reaction. I came out and told the chemist to give me something for stress and he suggested meditation as the best antidote. Chemists love to supply drugs of their choice and they feel good as compounders consulted for free medical advice. 

When I chose to meditate, I could not find peace. But when I wrote a story, I got peace. I liked this trick and wrote many stories following the same process, ready with an eclectic collection worth publishing. The next visit to the doctor’s chamber was decided after the self-test reports for B12 and Vitamin D3 confirmed a minor decline. Trying to appear fit, I climbed the comfy sponge bed after placing the reports on the doctor’s glass-topped desk. He was basking in the winter sun in the balcony. As I called out to him, he stared at me as if wondering if I were playing the fool again.

My frankness peeved the doctor who was convinced after this episode that I was a hypochondriac obsessed with health hazards all the time. Before he could prescribe anything for it, I mentioned whether there was any possibility of memory loss that could worsen into dementia in the middle years. I wanted to know from him if there was an urgent need to undergo a complete body check-up including CT scan and MRI. It was a pleasure to be diagnosed as a serious patient when he quietly wrote down all that I wanted him to write. The best testing lab and diagnostic centre was giving a mega discount for the first time and I wanted to grab this lifetime offer available for two days!

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access Wild Winds: The Borderless Anthology of Poems

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Categories
Musings of a Copywriter

Hiring a Bodyguard

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

From Public Domain

The arrival of royalty cheques should fulfill the dream of royal living. And the finest way to showcase royalty is by purchasing a horse and hiring a personal bodyguard. The rest of the worldly acquisitions are bank financed and hence lack appeal. Before I buy a well-bred horse instead of a swanky car, I need to learn how to ride and lose my weight to reduce the physical burden on the stud. Putting this idea into suspension mode for the time being, my present focus is on hiring a bodyguard first.

It is undeniable that the worldly possessions purchased on bank credit are not a genuine indicator of social status. What works better to reflect wealth and worthiness is the hiring of a personal bodyguard who has to be paid a handsome salary out of monthly income. A gun-toting escort, dressed in black, keeping a hawk’s eye all around, is the ultimate sign of luxury that has scaled up my ambition to pursue material success. Jealous folks and sworn enemies cannot bear the sight of a writer being shadowed all the time, protected every minute while they stay exposed to all kinds of threats.

Before they choose to emulate, they need to tell their families what level of threat exists for real and what is just a figment of their imagination. A similar demand raised by other members of the family makes the proposal difficult to implement. Insurance keeps the family financially afloat and hence the householder fails to get an instant approval for hiring a bodyguard. They do not care if a gangster shoots the earning member as the insurance company keeps the family protected with the insured amount in case of his untimely bump-off on a deserted highway or a crowded throughfare.  

A security guard of any housing society cannot be employed for this purpose as the ideal bodyguard needs to be agile, gym-trained, and a sharpshooter as well. Such a rare combination of talents can emerge only after screening multiple experienced candidates with an interesting portfolio of crisis management.

Other people – my fake friends – ask me whether I have written a controversial book that has provoked a fanatic in any part of the world. Writing about myself, making fun of myself, sharing encounters with birds and animals should not ruffle feathers. The question of hurting sentiments does not arise and the justification to get state-sponsored security does not have a valid ground as there is no perceived threat perception. Writing engaging content in a non-discriminatory voice about nature is most unlikely to offend a tiger or a crocodile, not if I do not tend to ignore some and focus on just a few. For me as a writer, the tiny ones and the giant ones provide equal pleasure in equal measure.

On a recent visit to a builder’s office to search for a studio apartment, I was surprised to find the owner entering the premises flanked by two bouncer bodyguards who stood waiting outside the teak-wood door when he walked into his cabin. I was in a hurry so I wanted a quick word but the bodyguards stopped me and scanned me as if I was a big threat to security. When they suspected I was still not tamed and neutralised, they brandished a gun to scare me, hoping that discipline would follow. I told them that this behaviour offended my sentiments and I no longer wished to buy anything from the boss.

The threat of losing a client should have alarmed them but they did not seem perturbed. Instead, they looked ready to cart me away as an unwanted pesky visitor who looked impatient and troublesome, who managed sneak in beyond the reception desk like an intruder crossing the border. That I was not ready to discuss anything with the manager seemed to annoy them but the flip side suggests these builders need to be seen and observed so that one can form an idea if they are likely to siphon off funds and run away to a foreign land without delivering the promised homes. In such an eventuality, their managers would not be found hanging around the rented office to offer possession of the property that has not developed beyond a skeleton in five years. 

Hearing the noise outside, the builder called them in, and the open door offered him the chance to scan me and feel safe enough to allow me in. The bodyguards were surprised! As the boss was in a good mood, I sought a hefty discount and he seemed to agree with a say-cheese smile. The presence of guns did not scare me. I spoke without fear. The builder perhaps appreciated  my courage to speak boldly in the presence of his weaponised bodyguards. He accepted my suggestions and offered a park-facing property with a waiver of preferential location charges. A little bit of courage helped ease off the incoming installment burden.

In the midst of our smooth conversation, he received some threat call on the landline and the security guys became busy with that. A healthy crossfire of abusive words in three languages followed, leaving me clueless and inconclusive since there was no written waiver in my favour yet. The verbal assurance did not satisfy me, but the bodyguards shooed me away, saying that the builder does not write anything on paper.

Maybe he had fears of his signature getting forged and misused. That he said his was the final word was something nobody could question in this office is what I was told. With these bodyguards as my prime witness to my big savings deal, I finally went to the manager and told him what had happened. He seemed to suggest I had broken the protocol as I was pretty fast in reaching out to the owner for discount. He said the property I had finalised had been booked just a few moments ago and the owner was not yet intimated of the closed deal. I could guess this was his trick as he offered the discounted price for a road-facing property instead of a park-facing one with a view of the swimming pool.  

The brazen display of power in front of an ordinary citizen made me look at security as a new symbol of social status. I knew the builder was paying the salary by selling the homes at a premium price and his middle-class customers were bearing the burden for his safety. The corridor was sanitized. They ensured no obstructions remained as the builder had spent an hour in the office and it was time to move out for his next task. The manager said it was time for the boss to visit the welfare centre for animals. His social service ventures consumed much time. His bodyguards escorted him to the car while I was left stranded there without a solution to my problem.

The job of escorting the boss looked easy but the risk of ensuring his safety was high. With threats looming large, especially kidnapping, the bodyguards seemed to be under constant stress, and they deserved the high salary they were paid. One mistake and they could end up losing their lives and jobs if the boss suffered. While it was a good idea to be escorted, the loss of privacy was also a concern as the bodyguards entered the washroom as well. When the nature’s call cannot be answered alone in peace, the build-up of pressure is evident. In case I chose to hire a bodyguard, a similar situation would be unavoidable.  

While a builder has multiple threats from rivals and gangsters, a writer must record an episode of brutal attack or life threat for offending an individual or a community. Since none of that exists in my case, the justification to hire a bodyguard is missing. Besides, the royalty earnings look inadequate to maintain the salary burden of the bodyguard who might point a gun at the writer in case his salary gets delayed.

Creative people who prefer having a pet have to think twice before hiring bodyguards unless they acquire the tag of being a best-seller. The bodyguard dies in a crossfire while saving the employer, but he gets no gallantry award for that. In most of the cases, they end up running away from the scene of crime, to disappear into a thick jungle or a distant village without claiming salary dues in order to save their precious lives. One needs to pore over this practical aspect before signing up a bodyguard.

In case of a heated argument on any issue of conflict or disagreement, the bodyguard could end up losing calm and blow up my head by pulling the trigger. This would cause irreparable loss to the creative world, although other writers might celebrate this untimely ending in private. Imagine the bodyguard staying alert outside but the glass of poisoned water on the bed-side table leads to death or a family member kills while the writer sleep.

I have given this a second thought and decided to hire one bodyguard for a month just to get the royal experience. A bodyguard employed outside returned home when the bombing in a foreign city began so I offered him a job for a month for his pocket expenses. He accepted my modest offer and started following me. But he looked pretty relaxed during his duty hours. I told him I work as a writer who has many hidden enemies. He was not impacted by my words. There was a wide gap between us. For instance, he was still in the cafe while I was about to cross the main road. I told him these counted as lapses. He still wondered why a person would kill an innocent soul like me. I said you never know fanatics. No logic works when they pump bullets from point-blank range. He was not affected by these grave words.

He ate burgers and pizzas with me and went for shopping trips. He stood outside my writing chamber and felt bored. I opened the garden-facing window one day and he rushed to the front side of the lawn. He advised me not to open the window as a sniper with a laser gun from another building rooftop might target me. His guideline was clear: If you want to write, keep windows shut. Working in an enclosed space made me claustrophobic. I could not write in peace and under surveillance all the time.

I posted his pictures on my social media handles – to boast that I had a bodyguard watching over me. There were weird comments as to why I was wasting resources that should be saved for my retirement. After getting trolled, I defended myself by saying I was gathering experience of this kind to peep into the lives of security personnel, to know what it meant to follow and get followed. But it evoked emojis of laughter. I paid the bodyguard his monthly salary and asked him to deposit the air gun to avoid any potential misuse. 

In this entire exercise I noticed that my image of a bold, fearless writer took a severe blow. I lost scores of followers and readers who concluded I was a scared type of writer who was not worthy of being inspiring.  

 .

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Click here to access Monalisa No Longer Smiles on Kindle Amazon International

Categories
Musings of a Copywriter

Missing the Tail

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

From Public Domain

In the evolutionary journey, we have achieved a lot to feel proud of. In the gradual process, we have lost something that could have proved to be an asset. However, there is no human record of regret ever registered to mourn its absence or disappearance. Instead, the actual loss is interpreted as a tangible gain for the entire human race that would have suffered a slowdown if the tail had remained an organic hurdle attached to our lives and bodies. Getting rid of it before we acquired the present shape and structure is, therefore, considered a divine blessing except by some crackpots who indulge in overthinking to find novel ways of making the tail relevant to human lives once again and shift perception in its favour through a robust narrative listing its utility value in a tech-driven world.   

The tail remains alive in our vocabulary as many fellow inhabitants from the animal kingdom continue to sport it with style. Some cricketers are called tail-enders and heads and tails phrase is still relevant when it comes to tossing a coin. The aircraft went into a tailspin and so did the share prices – thus, it’s used in popular parlance. We have plenty of examples in various cultures, communities, and languages where the tail is fondly quoted for wisdom and comic relief but the ideas of strength, flexibility, and relevance are always derived from its appearance and existence in other animals, big or small and meek or beastly, to feed our collective imagination.

The tail would have been cumbersome for people already struggling with time management in the fast-paced world. The extra weight and length would have complicated mobility and added to maintenance costs. While there are multiple benefits of being born without a tail, the presence of the long rope-like appendage would have added the excitement of improvisation and made human beings look more animal-like, although they are already fiercely competitive in displaying beastly behaviour. Since nobody finds the time to focus on the aesthetic appeal and the swag the possession of the tail imparts to an animal, the side of beauty of the furry extension gets completely overlooked and the possibility of its attachment to the human body sounds more like a scary proposition rather than a meaningful addition.  

Thinking of the tail gives handle to wild ideas. Imagine a ramp walk – or a cat walk – with super models of all genders flashing the latest apparel and strutting the stage with a tail sashaying behind to make them resemble flashy fashion icons. It is just the beginning of how the tail would acquire space in the minds of the young generation and the extent they would go to bring it back to their lives – opting for artificial ones to make themselves look different from the rest. Such a trendsetting development would raise further demand for the tail and the universe would receive messages for its re-introduction.

Losing the tail has cut us off from the animal world but we still tend to commit bestial acts by calling ourselves distinctly different in appearance from other tail-bearing animals. We boast of getting rid of the tail that is common to four-legged creatures such as dogs, donkeys, cats, cows, elephants, pigs, horses, tigers, and lions. The loss of the majestic tail, if one looks intently at animals, stokes feelings of envy and deprivation at times. The movement of the tail reveals a lot: when the dog experiences joy, the wagging of the tail is natural, mirroring how the pet feels inside. But a smiling human face, even that of a close friend, hides true feelings and often misleads. Maybe, the tail attached to human beings would become a true indicator of the state of mind, a kind of lie detector that exposes everything that the human face hides.

The wild horse of imagination is galloping fast. Designers would get the chance to explore innovative ideas of how to cover or style up the tail. Had the prized object been foldable or a wrap-around-the-waist type, unique ideas of carrying it like a belt could have been tried out. For menfolk, the tail would be easier to flaunt as a stylish accessory. For women, having managed long, flowing hair reaching below the waist, they are naturally adept at sporting long tails without fuss. Besides, the tail promised to be a safety weapon. With spikes erupting on its surface to shield the female sniffing danger of any kind. The tail could stiffen at the right time and prevent episodes of harassment in public spaces, inside crowded trains and buses, acting as a preferred, reliable tool of self-defence.

The furry tail could open up new businesses, with the introduction of a new range of tail-care products that include shampoo, oil, cream, and moisturizers. The beauty parlours struggling for more revenue would get clients looking for professional tail grooming sessions. Tail colouring products of the herbal kind, tail combs and glittering tail clips would deluge the market. Colouring the tail to match the outfit would become the new craze. If the same colour provided by nature turned dull and boring or lost its sheen, the person would have the freedom to colour it differently again and again.  

With global temperatures rising, the tail could possibly work as a natural coolant for the body, warmer in winter and cooler in summer, allowing adjustable options. Toilet seats and chairs of all kinds would be redesigned to accommodate the new part of the human body. This would perk up trade and business, with the introduction of newly designed furniture items – chairs for offices, schools and college desks, and benches in courts and eateries giving space to the tail. Travelling inside trains, cars, or flying by airplanes would also involve remodelling of seats, thus providing a big fillip to the global industry.  

The tail could assist humans as a sensor to gauge a lot in advance. Maybe the tail would get a vibrational alert of imminent natural disasters and sense earthquakes and tornadoes. If we had a tail, we could also become sensitive and kind to animals. The tail could be short in length or long, depending on the height of the person, and the colour of the tail would be a natural contrast. The tail should ideally be darker if one is fair — giving a pretty fair idea of how black and white can combine at the same time, taking pride in neither and considering colour to be immaterial, subtle or pronounced. Fair-skinned people, both men and women, should get dark tails and vice versa, making this world less unequal, less discriminatory.  

In the age of robots, when human look-alikes are designed, it is time for nature to spring a surprise and the tail could well be a surprise in this regard. Recalibration would be required to align with the new shape of human structure and if the new-borns come to life with this new add-on, it could well be a game-changer of sorts, with the adult world clamouring for similar attachments to match with the evolutionary pace of nature even if it leads to reversal.

The fun element of having a tail cannot be sidelined. It amuses a lot to see animals around swishing it in style. When humans get the tail, they would need to adjust accordingly, and find multiple uses to justify its existence for centuries. The fear of the tail getting caught while closing door would be painful for its owner. Banging of doors would stop forever as people would be more careful about anger control. Any injury might prove serious and a replacement of the tail would not be available like other prosthetics designed by medical experts.

Instead of checking the pulse in the traditional manner, the tail would suffice for medical examination. Test vitamin D, lipid, haemoglobin, glucose levels with a prick on the tail instead of drawing blood like a vampire through the syringe. Body temperature and fever could be checked by placing the thermometer on the tail and the soft touch of the fur could reveal the perfect degree.

As everything is basing itself on face recognition, technology could also develop tail-based tests to study life span, DNA, and bring tail recognition tools to conduct psychological tests for memory, and neuron health to study personality types and disorders in the brain. Already, we have doctors who suggest a strong link between gut health and brain health and so the possibility of tail health and brain health would not be ruled out as future researches could reveal a deeper interconnection.

The tail could become a reliable source of support, making animals feel less threatened and closer to humans. The tail could be a unifying factor in this regard. Besides, holding hands and exchanging warm greetings could get replaced by simply wagging the tail. For romantically-inclined types, the shape and movement of the tail could offer compatibility insights. Tying the tails of the couple could be the equivalent of tying the nuptial knot. Covering up the tail in silk, brocade, polyester, or cotton could make it look fabulous. Matching clothes would render it stylish, engaging fashion icons with refined taste to bring out offbeat variants of couture clothing during festive seasons. Instead of shaking a leg, the new mantra would be all about grooving and shaking the tail.

People with fancy tails would become the new normal, exercising better control over their lives as the tail would carry profound secrets of success in life. The tail would have hidden mysteries revealed to those who would understand and respect the tail. Academics and professors would look smart with their restless tails inside the classrooms.

During free hours, the tail could be used as a handy tool swat flies. Dusting off seats in public spaces with the help of the tail would suffice and attaching heavy luggage to the tail instead of dragging suitcases for hands-free comfort would be another big benefit for the future generations travelling across the globe without the fear of theft lurking in their information-loaded minds. With the tail emerging as a clear favourite with immense utility value for people across gender and class, this tale should engage readers to build a strong defence and show tell-tale signs of how this weird demand should gather further momentum even if the appearance or availability of the tail as part of humans remains a fanciful idea for centuries to come.

From Public Domain

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Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Click here to access Monalisa No Longer Smiles on Kindle Amazon International

Categories
Musings of a Copywriter

‘All Creatures Great and Small’

Narrative and photographs by Devraj Singh Kalsi

My neighbour, leaning against the boundary wall, informed me that the cow stood waiting for me at the entrance gate for more than an hour. While many people feel delighted to keep others waiting, a sense of guilt pervades me in case I am held responsible for delays. Although my friends never waited for more than five minutes for me, here was a new friend from the animal world telling me there are exceptions. I wore an apologetic look when I opened the gate, with the cow stepping back to grant me the space to enter comfortably with the year-end sale shopping bags.

Our regular bovine visitor stood firm on the hind legs of patience and mooed once or twice to draw my attention to the pending chores. A sort of gentle reminder that the feeding exercise should be marked as a priority since I was back home from the marketplace now. My communication skills with human beings are poor, and here I was faced with the bigger challenge of non-verbal communication. I did not know how to make the cow understand I was really sorry – and keen to make amends by serving her some something special. After the long hour of patient wait, the cow deserved a wholesome treat. Haven’t we all heard the popular saying that the fruit of patience is always sweet? Surely, it extends to other creatures belonging to this universe because the same laws of nature govern the lives of birds and animals as well.

When I returned to the gate, the cow looked at what was in my hands. As I served her a plateful of jaggery chunks, she relished the sweet offering instead of the usual serving of potatoes and vegetable peels. Her slow mastication while establishing direct eye contact with me seemed like an act of gratitude. I stood gazing at her to see if she needed a second helping. She chose to sit down and spread positive vibes. Guessing that she needed something else, I went inside to bring wheat flour or cabbage leaves. The offered items did not make the cow restless to stand up and eat, suggesting that she was already full. She focused on better digestion and exercised self-control unlike human beings who eat excessively and then complain of bloating and over-eating.

Her presence was certainly auspicious but the stray dogs stayed away from the heavyweight cow, lurking in the corner and waiting for their daily quota of biscuits for glucose boost-up to chase cyclists and bikers. As the biscuits descended in their direction like manna from heaven, they ran together for their share while the cow looked at them once and then shut her eyes to concentrate on relaxation techniques, occasionally swishing her tail to make flies maintain a healthy distance from her body. When a cawing jet-black crow flew down and perched on her back, scanning the crumbs lying scattered on the ground to pick up its booty, I stood amazed at the precision with which the bird clutched a big chunk in its beak and flew away to the nearest branch. The dogs kept barking to vent their frustration, to mourn the substantial loss of their share. Oblivious to the chaotic goings-on around, the cow maintained her posture and reminded me of how to stay unperturbed despite chaos and confusion happening around us.

The sight of a composed, unruffled cow was inspirational and it encouraged the dogs to come near and pick up the biscuit crumbs, occasionally keeping a sharp eye on the sudden movements of the cow. Just one quick glance at what these dogs were up to assured the cow that there was no imminent danger in sight. The neighbour, who stood watching this entire spectacle, chipped in with an acerbic comment, sarcastically calling me the chosen one to perform the act of service, blessed with the special ability to match the frequency level of other creatures instead of fellow human beings.

Suspecting it was his clever strategy to duck responsibilities, I urged him to generously feed these creatures whenever he found time from his busy schedule. He said no astrologer had advised him to balance his planetary positions by feeding birds and animals. Attaching a selfish motive to the selfless act meant he saw me as a rank opportunist. Perhaps he felt I was doing it for a short span of time and the bonding exercise would conclude in a month. That this was meant to last much longer was way beyond his imagination and my revealing such grand plans would stoke up further jealousy. It was safer to let him read and interpret everything the way he liked while I should focus on what I was doing – without bothering about how my neighbours reacted to my activities. The day was not far when they would scold and shoo away the birds for turning up at my gate for their dietary needs every day.

As I turned back to enter the house, the birds swooped down in search of foodgrains. While the other species were having their share, sparrows and pigeons pecked around for the leftover stuffs. I replenished the stock on the cemented pavement garden – to enable them to locate the grains with ease. The gentle flock did not raise a flutter, allowing me the time and space to serve them with dignity.

After I came back, their chirping turned high-pitched as they gave a joyous, riotous welcome to the squirrels who came down from the rooftop. What I noticed for a change was some squirrels scoured the area for biscuit bites, suggesting a need for variety in their feed. It was not the staple grain diet but perhaps, they yearned for something sweet and tasty. While some birds were still engaged in pecking the grains, a few rebellious ones joined the troop of squirrels.

As I gained new insight into their dietary preferences, I chose to add biscuits to the menu. Their inclination to have grains looked compromised while the biscuit pieces were polished off really fast. That they were now, with each passing day, getting closer to me, feeling less threatened by human presence, flying over my head at times, and settling down near my feet, came as a pleasant surprise. That I was a harmless creature was certified by their fearlessness.

When the milkman came to deliver, he saw me surrounded by sparrows and wondered at their thriving presence in the mobile-driven world threatening their existence. Their playfulness was evident in their hopping around on the bed of grass. Their landing on the window grille to see the blooming, sun-kissed petunias created a photo-worthy scene and he clicked the fluttering birds on his smartphone before they took flight after this sudden intrusion. Maybe he clicked them mid-flight, in motion, snapping a picture worth sharing with friends and posting across social media platforms to celebrate the closeness.

The tall Asoka trees were where these birds built their nests and most of them disappeared into the green branches after this brief episode of invasion of privacy. That these birds did not have to search hard for food was a good thing since most of their daily needs were met inside the compound. Gaining easy access to eatables was ruining their habit of flying for hours. But to search for food for long hours and then return disappointed was also not a good outcome after a day of hard work. Something that demoralises and compromises the spirit of survival against all odds. The Most cute-looking in the backdrop of the photo frame were squirrels who held the biscuits firmly and took small bites. Being unable to carry them, they split the biscuits into tiny pieces and then rushed off with the booty to the garage rooftop where they could eat without any disturbance and also hoard some bits in the hollow pipes and wall cavities for consumption later.   

This day offered a memorable learning lesson – a reminder that I should not leave the house without making provisions for them. I made a new year resolution: not to be casual about feeding  these creatures. They should not be forced to wait for the resident to return home. Taking them for granted would amount to bad human behaviour, in line with how the world treats those who do not wield any kind of power. One never knows when their hunger pangs turn severe and when these animals turn up at the gate for their feed and relief. The refreshments should be laid out like a buffet spread – to pick whatever they like to eat, whenever they like to eat.

A diverse outdoor congregation cannot be complete without a special guest worth mentioning here: a white furry cat frequents the buffet for milk. The bowl was filled with milk. The cat slowly and cautiously emerged from behind the wall, and began to slurp from the container, taking small breaks to see what the other creatures were enjoying in the garden. Then the cat shook her head quite vigorously to signal the return of fresh energy and stretched her limbs. Spreading herself on the rubber doormat, she looks at my face. Her paws rested on her belly and this perfect chill-mode followed a wide yawn and the need for a post-lunch quick nap.

I disappeared from the scene, leaving the cat alone to enjoy some moments of privacy. Usually, the cat is afraid of dogs, but their presence outside the main gate did not impact her much. They barked a few times to assert their power and she meowed at a competitive pitch in response to register her disapproval during sleep time. Instead of choosing to retreat, the cat remained cosy in her space, and the dogs noticed the royal privilege she enjoyed inside the compound. Their mutual enmity took a backseat for the time being as the dogs chose not to waste their energy on the cat once they found an overloaded motor van to chase on the deserted road.

While they have not become best friends yet, their sense of fear and threat has reduced, giving way to tolerance. When I open the door in the morning, I find the dogs waiting outside and the cat resting on the mat on the stairs. They see each other every morning but they do not disturb each other. The same goes with birds. When the cow arrives, the dogs do not run away, just step aside to allow her space. With their growing acceptance I am more turning more sensitive to their needs.

The bowl meant for the cat has to be washed clean every day before the milk is poured. The grains for birds have to be checked for stones and the jaggery for the cow should be ant-free. No casual disposition but extreme care to ensure the best hygiene practices for them even though these creatures seem to be unaware of consuming clean things alone. Even when there is not much leisure time to serve, my conscience does not allow me to be flippant and finish off everything in a hurry. Cut down on screen time to care for them is what the inner voice urges me to do.    

Ever since I chose to have other creatures as my friends, many of my lost friends and colleagues from the past have reconnected with me. Now the time I spend in the company of birds and cats and cows and dogs is claimed by human friends. I do not feel comfortable to invest heavily on my old friends who proved disloyal and seasonal. Finding a delicate balance between animal and human time is the key to keeping people as well as other creatures happy.

When I think of leaving this place, I am tied down by the needs of other creatures. A holiday trip would deprive them of food supplies so I must make arrangements for them, perhaps ask the caretaker to do it for some days. And if I leave this place forever, I must ask the person who comes next to be generous towards these creatures.

With this diversity of my animal family growing, with new members like mongoose and snakes, I am reminded of the need to be kind to all – instead of focusing on their capacity to harm. Let the slithering snake also join in and drink milk kept aside for the cat. I am confident the mixed community will not make it bare its fangs. The poison inside the snake is quite likely to remain saved unless the mongoose comes around for a challenging bloodbath session. Finding snake skin in the garage suggested it was shed recently and the serpent moved out soon after.

Now the provisions are arranged in advance to last for a month but when there are guests like monkeys trooping in once a week, the stockpile of bananas falls short. The grille gate is their acrobatic zone and they stay suspended to showcase their skills and impress. When I offer them something to eat, they come down fast and grab the eatables without a proper handshake.  

Expecting surprises from monkeys is common. As the priest this year was about to perform annual prayer rituals in front of the car, a big monkey came down from the parapet and grabbed the coconut from the plate and cracked it open in front of the bonnet. The priest offered bananas and the monkey walked away quietly like a brave hero strutting the stage with swag. The priest chanted some mantras and stood watching in awe, calling it divine intervention. He said the monkey god had performed the puja successfully and there was not much left for him to do so he rode off on his scooter with mixed feelings. Whenever monkeys visit my humble abode, I am reminded of this incident that has stayed with me. Perched on the branches, they are least bothered by those shouting at them. The ground floor inhabitants do not matter at all. Learning to ignore is vital for survival. With so much to observe about animal behaviour and mannerisms, I realise I am not quite capable of understanding their feelings. The truth that the world has other important, valuable creatures we need to co-exist with becomes a palpable reality.

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

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