Category: Pirate Poems

PIRATE BLACKTARN AND THE MERMAID


Pirate Blacktarn was sailing on a quest.
Each day he woke, feeling full of joy and zest.
“I’m going to find a mermaid, swimming in the sea
And then when I find one, I’ll ask her to marry me.”

The crew all sighed, “Blacktarn’s full of daft ideas,
We can see this adventure is going to end in tears.
Who’d marry Blacktarn when he doesn’t wash his hair?
And he’s got holes in his socks that let in all the air.
He’s lost his sword and the sheath is full of sweets
And he’s useless at cards ’cos he always cheats.”

“If he thinks a mermaid is going to marry him,
He’s soft in the head,” agreed Parrot Tim.
“Poor old Captain,” said Stowaway Fay,
“But we won’t find mermaids anyway.
They’re magic and mysterious and secret and strange
And they live in hidden places, far out of range.”

But then one evening, after a long day’s sail
They saw a mermaid on a rock, swishing her tail.
“A mermaid, a mermaid,” Blacktarn cried with delight.
“Come Crew, come and see this special sight.”

“Mermaid, mermaid, mermaid ahoy!
I’ve come to marry you,” cried Blacktarn with joy.
But the mermaid just laughed and jumped from the rocks.
“I can’t marry a man with big holes in his socks.”

Poor Pirate Blacktarn was dreadfully upset
But he found Bosun Mick, mending a fishing net.
And he asked if he’d help him mend his holy socks.
“You do it,” said Mick, “here’s the sewing box.”
So as the red sun set and the silver moon rose,
Poor Pirate Blacktarn sat darning his hose.

Then the very next day, all tidy and neat
He went to the mermaid, who sat looking sweet
And he showed her his socks and his very clean feet.
“Now you can marry me, oh mermaid my dear.”
“Oh no,” she said, “you’d better disappear.
You haven’t washed your hair for at least a year.
And your beard is tangled and matted and rough
I can’t marry you, you’re not smart enough.”

Poor Pirate Blacktarn shed a very sad tear
Then he whispered to Rakesh, hardly loud enough to hear
“Please will you lend me your comb and your shampoo.”
Rakesh was astonished but he didn’t dare to argue.
All night long, Blacktarn washed and brushed his hair
And curled and combed his beard with the utmost care.
And then in the morning, all shiny and tangle free,
He went to the mermaid and asked, “Will you marry me?”

But the cruel mermaid only shook her head
“No, for you haven’t got a sword,” she said.
“And even worse, you keep sweets in the sheath.”
And laughing she dived into the waves beneath.

Poor Pirate Blacktarn went grumpily away
“Looks like I’ll have to go searching today.”
“Will you help me find my sword?” he asked Big Bob the cook.
“No,” answered Bob, “you’ll have to look.”
All day and night, Blacktarn rummaged through his junk
And found his rusty sword, hidden by his bunk.
He cleaned and polished till it gleamed and flashed
Then put it in his sheath and to the mermaid dashed. 
“Now you must marry me, please dearest mermaid.”

“Oh no Pirate Blacktarn, I can’t I’m afraid.”
“Oh dear,” groaned Blacktarn, “now what must I do?”
“Nothing, because I’m married to a merman, fine and true.”

“What!” Blacktarn jumped up and down with rage,
Then burst into tears and started to rampage.

“But never mind Pirate, I’ve bought you a gift
For I can see your spirits are in need of a lift.”
And she held out a shell, all curved and curly,
A beautiful thing, all whorled and pearly.
This magical shell you must put to your ear
And the music of Mer is the melody you’ll hear,
The sound of their singing will make you happy again
And you’ll forget all your anger and sadness and pain,
So all your hard work hasn’t been in vain.”
And down she dived into the green sea’s domain.

“Farewell Pirate”

Blacktarn held the shell and listened amazed,
For a wonderful music made him joyous and dazed.
“You know,” he said merrily to his startled crew
“I’m glad I didn’t marry, it really wouldn’t do.
That mermaid now, might have made a nice wife
But would she have suited our sea faring life?”

“Well come on crew, now we’re single and free
We must get sailing across the Lemon Sea.”

PIRATE BLACKTARN AND THE WORM


Pirate Blacktarn, Terror of the Lemon Seas 
Was feeling so hungry he ate three teas
And even after that he still wanted more.
He ate cookies and cakes and puddings galore.
But though Big Bob the Cook kept cooking and cooking
Blacktarn ate parrot food when Tim wasn’t looking.
He ate sea weed and star fish and slippery eels
And doughnuts and dumplings, all between meals.

“You’ll burst,” said Mick, “this is rather a worry.”
“No I won’t,” answered Blacktarn, eating barnacle curry. 
“This is ridiculous,” said Big Bob, feeling cross,
“You’re eating more than the great albatross.
The ship’s stores and supplies are vanishing fast,
These barrels of food are meant to last.”

But even though Blacktarn still ate and ate
He went on being hungry from morning till late.
In the middle of the night he crept out of his hammock
To try asking for crumbs from the wild seagull flock. 
And he stole Big Bob’s stew that he’d d only just made 
In a secret and stealthy, dark midnight raid.
But strangest of all, he grew more and more thin.
His cheeks became hollow and sunken in. 
His legs and arms looked like sticks on a twig 
And only his tummy stayed round and big.
“I’m fading away,” cried Blacktarn, eating some more,
“I’ll be nothing but a belly with the food it can store.”

“Something very strange is going on here,”
Said Bob to Rakesh, who was standing near. 
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“What?” asked Blacktarn, his fearful heart sinking.

“Worms!” said Bob. 

“WORMS!” cried Blacktarn. “HELP! HELP! I’ve got WORMS!” 

A small sneaky worm living in a ship’s biscuit 
Had jumped right out when Blacktarn bit into it.
It had slithered down his throat and settled in his stomach
And once it was there, it couldn’t believe its luck, 
For so much food kept coming its way,
Chocolate and cake, sweets and biscuits, day after day,
That the worm grew bigger and bigger and bigger 
While Blacktarn shrank to a small, thin figure. 
“Help,” groaned Blacktarn, so scared he nearly cried, 
“I’ll starve to death with this worm inside.”

“Don’t worry Captain,” said Rakesh the mate,
“We’ll see this worm has a nasty fate.”
And he took out his pipe and started to play
In a wiggly, weavy, wormy way.
And the worm stopped eating and started to listen 
To the magical music that made his eyes glisten. 
The tune sang of sea serpents swimming through the waves
And electric eels in undersea caves 
And the gleaming glow worms that light up the deeps
And the huge ocean snake that never ever sleeps. 

And the worm uncurled and started to rise 
In Blacktarn’s stomach which burped in surprise. 
And Rakesh played on, in his wriggly way 
And the worm began to squirm, then started to sway
Forwards and back he wriggled his body about 
Till he reached Blacktarn’s mouth and peered right out. 

Then fast as a dart swooped Parrot Tim 
And grabbed the worm and pulled and pulled him. 
Until out he wriggled all pink and squirmy 
And Tim quickly snatched him and dropped him in the sea,
Where he swam away most unhappily. 

Hurrah, hurrah Captain,” everyone cried. 
“Hurrah,” exclaimed Blacktarn, “that worm’s not inside.
But I’m feeling so hungry I really need a feast 
Now I’ve got rid of that slinky slimy beast.”

Big Bob groaned but began cooking again
And they ate huge helpings of cake and sugar cane 
And mangoes and melons all firm and ripe,
While Rakesh played more tunes on his marvellous pipe. 
And they danced the dance of the greedy little worm
Until Blacktarn spoke, sounding very firm,
“Of course no worm could last long in a pirate like me 
But now I’m worm free and I’m not even hungry,
I think we should sail again, across the Lemon Sea.”

Pirate Blacktarn is Nearly Blown Away


Pirate Blacktarn was feeling dizzy,
The winds above his head were being very busy.
They were roaring altogether in a contest of blowing,
Till the pirates didn’t know if they were coming or going.
Whooosh! went the West Wind, warm and wet.
EEEssh! hissed the East Wind in a fuss and a fret.
Rruusssh! went the North Wind, cruel and cold,
Swisssh! blustered the South Wind, burning and bold.

The pirate’s poor ship was spinning round and round
And the crews’ ears buzzed with the rush of sound.
“I’m going to be sick,” moaned Blacktarn yuckily.
“I’ll look after you,” said Big Bob pluckily.
“Eeeehow!’” blew the East Wind, “these Lemon Seas are mine,
I’m the wind to rule over this lemony brine.”
“Rubbish,” whooshed the West wind, “it’s me they need,
To bring them the rain, it’s obvious indeed.”
“Oh no,” niggled the North Wind, “oh no, no, no,
The Lemon Seas need me to bring them ice and snow.”
“Shusssh,” blew the South, “what’s needed is my breeze,
To bring the breath of warmth to the lovely Lemon Seas.”

The pirate’s ship tilted from side to side,
The crew fell on the deck and began to slide.
They clutched at the ropes and the yardarm and the sails,
Rakesh the mate grabbed at the rails,
Stowaway Fay tied herself to the mast,
Tim Parrot perched on her shoulder and held on fast.
It was the worst of storms the Lemon Seas had ever known.
“We’ll be blown to bits and pieces,” cried Blacktarn with a groan.
The ship tilted one way and the mast almost snapped
And then tipped the other as the great sails flapped.

The North Wind blew hailstones that clattered on the deck
And the West Wind whirled rain that poured down Blacktarn’s neck.
The East Wind blew a fog that hid them all from view
Till the South scorched it away, “Phew, phew, phew.”
“We’ll drown, we’ll drown,” moaned the terrified crew.
But all of a sudden the sea began to glow,
And a magical figure surged up from below.
Sea horses danced and sea nymphs sang
And all on its own, the ship’s bell rang.
For Neptune himself appeared on the scene.
He shook his trident which glittered gold and green.
For he was very angry and his face was very stern.
The Winds went silent and looked down in concern.
“What do you think you’re doing, blowing like fools
Over some stupid argument about which wind rules?”
“Puff,” muttered the West wind in great alarm,
“We didn’t really mean to do any harm.”
“I didn’t start it,” stuttered the East wind in a hurry.
“Nor me,” whinged the South, “I just blew a little flurry.”
“No, no,” fluttered the North, “it was only just in fun,
We didn’t really mean any harm to be done.”

“It’s just not good enough,” Neptune told them in a rage,
“You’re causing problems for sailors at every stage.
Ships are lying stranded in oceans far and near
Because you rowdy lot are all quarrelling here.
There’s no wind for any ship to sail, not even the smallest,
Everyone is stuck from the littlest to the tallest.
Now you just stop huffing and listen to me,
I’ll have no more rows over who blows on the Lemon Sea.
For a quarter of the year, the West Wind will bring rain,
To make sure the Lemon Seas are full of water again.
Then the next quarter the North Wind shall blow
And sometimes, not too often, bring the sleet and the snow.
The quarter after that shall blow the breeze of the East
And in the final quarter, last but not least,
Shall come the South Wind with the heat of the sun,
So all winds shall have their turn when my will is done.”

“What a good idea,” cried Blacktarn and his crew,
While the Winds huffed and puffed and wondered what to do.
But they daren’t defy Neptune, the Emperor of the Sea,
So grumbling and rumbling, they had to agree.
“Good,” said Neptune, “I’m glad we’ve settled that,
Now I’ll board ship and see Blacktarn for a chat.
Let the South Wind stay now and the rest of you go.”

So the West and East and North roared away in a tornado
And set the ship reeling in the last awful storm.
But Neptune raised his trident and the South Wind blew warm
And calmed the angry seas till all was at peace
And the waves whispered with relief that the storm would cease.
“Now let’s have a party,” cried Neptune once aboard.
“How useful,” said Blacktarn, “to be friends with the Sea Lord.”
So they danced and sang all day and all night.
But when they awoke at the sun’s first light,
Neptune and his sea nymphs were nowhere to be seen.
“Was it a dream?” wondered Mick, “what did it all mean?”
“Never mind,” called Blacktarn, “I stopped those winds all blowing,
Now set sail crew, it’s time we were going.”