Categories
Stories

Two Small Town Girls that Dressed Up for Wednesday

By Jonathon Ferrini

My flight from JFK landed in Albuquerque well after dark, just in time to learn that the last connection to Phoenix had been canceled. Waiting until morning wasn’t an option because my daughter was scheduled for cancer surgery, and after missing the chance to say goodbye to my dying wife years earlier while chasing another business deal halfway around the world, I wouldn’t fail my daughter again.

I rented a car and headed into the night, intending to follow Interstate 40 West before turning south toward Scottsdale. But somewhere beyond Albuquerque, with fatigue settling in and my mind replaying old regrets instead of reading highway signs, I drifted onto a lonely state road with a single faded white line guiding me into a jigsaw puzzle of regret, anguish, fear, and several near bouts of dozing off. White lines and the pitch-black desert sky suggest a road is just a road, but where it leads you is a state of mind and the white line offers no guarantee of what lies ahead.

By the time the sun was climbing over the high desert, the interstate had vanished behind me. The landscape had grown quiet and unhurried, and the weathered sign welcoming me to an indiscernible town whose name was erased by decades of winds and rains. I named the town “Nowhere New Mexico” which I would discover seemed less like a wrong turn than an invitation into a place untouched by deadlines, airports, and the relentless pursuit of tomorrow. As it turns out, I learned some folks look at today and make it become magic even in the simplest of ways.

I was tired and hungry and missed the off-ramps taking me to fast food, hotels, and all the conveniences of modern life. I needed food, rest, and an opportunity to think about the long trip home. I regretted the call to my wife’s sister notifying her I’d be late, but it would wait until I could gather my thoughts.

There was an old gas station with two rusted pumps standing out front like museum pieces. An automobile repair shop with a faded sign that read MARTINEZ GARAGE with a 50-foot-tall pole sign with a Native American Chief in ceremonial headgear faded but still stared out over the land.  In the center of town, I saw the “Wayward Hotel, Rooming House, and Restaurant”, and across the street was a dilapidated old metal warehouse with a crow painted on the side.

The streets were paved, but potholes interrupted the blacktop every few yards. You could almost imagine that beneath it all was the old dirt road where horses once galloped and shootouts occurred after drunken brawls inside the hotel bar. It felt like an Old West town that had simply decided to keep going. The only thing missing was the horses.

Then I saw the pharmacy,

“Saf-T Pharmacy & Soda Fountain”

I stopped and parked because of the soda fountain. You can’t find them anymore and I couldn’t resist the urge to relive the experience of a chocolate shake from a cold metal colander. I looked through the front window, six stools lined up at an old counter. The red vinyl was cracked. The chrome had dulled. I doubted it had served a proper milkshake in years.

A little bell jingled when I walked inside. The first thing I noticed was that two young women were standing behind the counter dressed for Halloween. One wore a black witch’s hat and a purple cape. She had long dark hair and warm brown skin. The other had red hair, freckles, and silver fairy wings that glittered whenever she moved. For a moment, I recalled holding my daughter’s hand as we went door to door on Halloween and in a split second, she grew up and didn’t need my hand.

The store was empty. I felt strangely at peace and smiled. “Do you still make chocolate shakes?”

The two of them looked at each other.

“The soda fountain’s closed,” the witch said.

The fairy shrugged. “Oh, who cares? We’ll make one.”

They disappeared behind the counter. The old mixing machine groaned to life. Then came the delicious ingredients: ice cream, milk, chocolate syrup, and fresh whipped cream and a maraschino cherry from a nearby jar to top it off.

They laughed quietly as they worked, neither one giving instructions, each one knowing exactly what the other was about to do but I was living my childhood again, a simpler time, a time of endless days and no responsibilities.

Finally, the fairy placed the shake in front of me. I took a sip.

“It tastes like 1959.”

They didn’t get the joke but why should they? They are living their own history. I looked around the store.

“Where’s the pharmacist?”

The fairy smiled. “She doesn’t work on Wednesdays.”

I looked back at the shelves. There were bottles of aspirin and a few prescriptions waiting to be picked but there were also tools, nails, garden gloves, wind chimes, handmade pottery, old books, locally painted pictures of the desert, candles, kitchen towels, greeting cards, and little carved wooden animals.

The witch caught me looking.

“We’ve got a little bit of everything.

“If people need something, we try to have it.”

The old wooden floor creaked as an elderly man walked in and bought a newspaper and a package of screws. After he left, a woman came through the front door carrying a broken lamp.

The fairy looked it over like it was a precious heirloom and assured the woman, “Mr. Ortega will probably stop by around three. He can fix it.”

“You both look darling in your Halloween costumes but it’s only springtime.”

“We don’t need a holiday to dress up and have fun together.”

A little boy came in and bought a comic book and a piece of peppermint candy.  “Take an extra at no charge, dear.”

“Gee, thank you, Miss.”

The place wasn’t really a pharmacy. It was whatever somebody needed that day. The ceilings were high, and an old fan turned slowly overhead squeaking to some old beat or rhythm it recalled from decades ago. The wooden floor had been worn smooth by a hundred years of footsteps. I would have sworn that nobody had renovated that building in a century. It was authentic. It wasn’t pretending to be old like so many commercial replications seen today. It had simply survived.

“Are you going to a party, ladies?”

“No.”

“A dance?”

“No.”

“Then why the costumes?”

“We just decided to dress up today.”

“Why are you doing what you’re doing, Sir?”

“I missed a flight and decided to drive home to Scottsdale and got turned around and ended up here.”

The fairy smiled. “We have many strangers who seem to stray off the Interstate and find their way here. They all seem to carry a burden of some type. Some talk, others don’t. Most of the time they leave happier then when they arrived. We never see them again. How are you doin’ Mister?”

“Thanks for asking but I won’t spoil your Wednesday with my burdens. Did you both grow up in this small town?”

“Yep. Same elementary school, same little high school, summer jobs together, and now the pharmacy.”

“You never left?”

The fairy shook her head. “No.”

The witch looked down at the old milkshake mixer. “Not yet.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant. I almost asked about husbands, boyfriends, and children but it struck me it didn’t really matter because these two young ladies were at peace.  Instead, I asked, “Is there much to do around here?”

The fairy looked out the window. “We watch storms.”

The witch smiled. “And people driving through in a hurry.”

I found myself wondering what it was like to spend your whole life in one little town. I wondered if they ever dreamed about bigger places; the ocean, and cities full of strangers. I wondered if they would ever leave and then another thought came to me. “What would happen if one of you left?”

Neither answered. The fairy folded one of her wings. The witch looked out the front window.

The fairy smiled. “I guess the other one would have to learn how to make milkshakes.”

The witch smiled back. “It wouldn’t taste as good.”

They laughed like happy young women with the hearts of children still pulsating inside them. I realised I had been looking at them the wrong way. I had assumed that because they stayed, they must be lonely, yet they did not seem lonely at all. They weren’t sisters as far as I could tell and didn’t signal, they were a couple. There was simply a bond between them that had been built one ordinary day at a time.

I had a revelation that perhaps in a little town, you discover that friendship just happens. Possibly, they worked there because the store itself was the one place where the whole town came together because the place had everything including a hundred years of memories and perhaps that was enough.

I finished my shake. They charged me three dollars. I left twenty. The fairy tried to hand me the change, but I stopped her, “Keep the change. Use it for more costumes and giving an old man a taste of the past which can’t be purchased anywhere for any price.”

I walked outside and the bell above the door rang as if saying, “Goodbye and thanks for stopping by.”

I sat inside my car and was ready to make the phone call to the hospital and found no cellular service. The bell above the door rang with a sense of urgency when I asked if there was a pay phone. “No cell service and no pay phone, Mister.”

“I have to make an emergency call to the hospital.”

“You’re welcome to go behind the pharmacist’s counter and use her phone in the office.”

My daughter was already in surgery and the prognosis was uncertain. My gut was tied in knots, and I feared another lost loved one with daddy absent.

I emerged from behind the pharmacy and back into the store witnessing two beautiful young women with true empathy, love, and kindness in their eyes. I teared up.

“It’s been one hell of a night and trip with hours to go. Despite the sorrow in my heart, you both brought this old man some happiness.”

The witch said, “You’re not the first one to use that phone in an emergency and won’t be the last. We’re happy you were able to make your call and hope it all works out for you.”

“From your mouth to God’s ears, ladies.”

“Maybe not ‘God’ but a good witch and fairy, Mister.”

The old hotel cast a long shadow across the street. The garage looked as though it had been waiting for someone for fifty years. The gas station pumps stood quietly in the afternoon sun. The Chief kept staring like he was waiting for the cavalry.

I climbed into my car but before I started the engine, I looked back through the pharmacy window. The fairy was pretending to cast a spell with a milkshake spoon. The witch was stirring an imaginary cauldron.

I wish I could have told the pharmacist they cast a spell of resilience and renewed energy inside me. The farther I drove, the more I thought about them. At first, I wondered whether they would ever leave that little New Mexico town. Then I realised it wasn’t really my business. People who travel too much have a habit of believing that happiness is always somewhere else. Maybe it isn’t?

I had spent my life travelling the world for business and valuing corporate opportunities. That afternoon, I learned that some places cannot be measured that way. The little store wasn’t valuable because of the land beneath it. It was valuable because it had become one place where everybody could go.

If you needed medicine, a hammer, comic book, or a birthday card, it was there, and, if you needed a chocolate milkshake from a vintage soda fountain to rekindle something lost inside you forever, two girls dressed as a witch and a fairy would probably smile and say, “We’ll make one.”

And as I drove out across the New Mexico desert, I wasn’t sad for them. I was happy because in a world where so many people spend their lives searching for someone who understands them, those two girls had already found each other and were content.

Sometimes they watched storms.

Sometimes they meet strangers passing through and cast spells of human understanding and kindness.

And just for the hell of it on an ordinary Wednesday, they put on fairy wings and a witch’s hat, not because they had somewhere to go, but because they already had somewhere to belong.

I thought about two small town girls who decided that an ordinary Wednesday deserved a little magic which consoled a father as he made it to the hospital and found his loving daughter recuperating from successful surgery. I held her hand and whispered, “Do you remember when you were little and daddy took you house to house on Halloween?”

“I dreamed about that, daddy. I always dressed as a nice witch or a fairy.”

From Public Domain

Jonathan Ferrini is the author of nearly 100 short fiction stories, poems, and screenplays. A partial collection of his short fiction may be found inside “Hearts Without Sleeves-Twenty Three Stories” available at Amazon. Jonathan is the writer/host of the Razor’s Ink Podcast nearing 90 weekly episodes where he discusses film, television, and music. Jonathan received his MFA in motion picture and television production from UCLA and is a candidate for the undergraduate diploma in Creative Writing at Oxford University.

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access Wild Winds: The Borderless Anthology of Poems

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Categories
Stories

Small Town Journal Entry: The Red Wagon and Red Robin

By Jonathon Ferrini

My name is Arthur. I’m a metal artist, and a lot of my inspiration including my raw materials come from wandering through old automobile salvage yards. I was scrounging around for pieces for a new project when I spotted a beat-up little red wagon, an iconic model named “Radio Flyer” wedged between the rusted shells of two old cars.

The Radio Flyer was founded by an American company in 1917 and became an American cultural symbol. Its mangled condition wedged between cars made overseas was a strong metaphor for simpler times, manufacturing jobs lost forever, the American rustbelt, and something much more profound to me.

The wagon had been in a collision of its own. Twisted up inside the shards of rusting red metal was a tattered notebook. I paid five dollars but would soon discover my purchase was more than artistic, the contents of the notebook were a repayment of my small investment beyond measure.

One rainy evening in front of the warm glow of a fireplace with a glass of brandy, I opened the notebook and realised it had been written by a little boy who was just learning to write.

I want to share the original contents, but found it necessary to fix a child’s misspelling, no grammar, and lack of punctuation so his observations are understandable. The rest I left alone, because every now and then an old junkyard gives back something that shouldn’t have been lost, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that this little notebook was all that was left of one small boy’s adventure and the long walk through a short life he took with his red wagon.

THURSDAY

I am Tommy.

I am four.

Mommy gave me this notebook.

She said if I write in it every day, I will be smart.

I have a red wagon.

Gramps gave it to me for my birthday.

He said red things are easy to find if you lose them.

Today I found a bird.

It was under the old oak tree in the park.

I thought it was a leaf because it was jumpy.

Then I saw it was a red robin.

It had a red tummy.

Its wing was all funny.

I asked, “Your wing broke?”

The bird looked at me.

It was sad.

Then I put my sweater on him and put him in my wagon.

Mommy says we help with little things, even scary insects if they are outside.Inside, they go to insect heaven.

Mommy and daddy weren’t home, so I took the robin to the animal doctor.

The lady said, “Doc Ross is sick.”

I said, “My bird is sicker.”

She said, “Maybe the hospital can help?”

I said, “For birds?”

She shrugged.

Grownups shrug when they don’t know what to say.

The hospital was across Sycamore Road.

Mommy and daddy say, “Don’t cross Sycamore Road.”

Grampa says some people forgot how to be happy “down there”.

I don’t know what that means.

I know what pancakes mean.

I know what hugs mean.

I know that I’m not happy when I am sick.

The bird made a little peep.

I think he wants me to pull.

So, I pulled.

The wagon made a squeaky noise.

I like that sound.

It sounds like a mousy with boots.

I got to Sycamore Road.

Nothing happened.

No monsters.

No dragons.

Just a busy road.

So, I crossed.

A nice man was smelly and pushed a market cart.

He helped me cross the street.

He held my hand while I pulled my cart and he pushed his cart.

He said, “Wait for the green sign to say, ‘WALK’. Green says it’s safe to cross but look both ways anyhow, okay? We live in a world where everything doesn’t mean what it’s supposed to, young man. Keep pullin’ your way through life and I’ll keep pushin’.”

He went away with his cart full of his closet like mine at home.

I waved goodbye.

I think he was nice.

I crossed Sycamore Road for the first time.

The houses have gotten old.

There was broken glass.

Lots of trash lying around.

One house had flowers.

One had no windows.

One had a chair on the roof.

I don’t know why?

Maybe somebody wanted to sit high.

A dog barked at me.

I barked back.

Then I remembered I must be brave because the bird was little and hurt.

If I was little, I would want somebody to pull me too.

I think I got lost.

I cried a tiny bit.

Not a lot.

A girl found me.

She had black hair.

She said, “What’s that bird doing in your wagon?”

I said, “A robin needs to go to the bird hospital.”

She said, “You’re not from here.”

I said, “No. I’m from my house.”

She laughed.

I liked her laugh.

It sounds like gumdrops falling on the floor.

“My name is Lily”, she said.

“My name is Tommy.”

Lily said, “My momma works at the hospital.”

I was happy.

I almost hugged her.

But I don’t know if she liked hugs.

She held my hand.

Her hand was warm.

I wasn’t lost anymore.

The hospital was big.

It smelled like soap and dirty laundry.

A man had a hurt foot.

The baby was loud.

A nurse came.

She had tired eyes.

Lily hollered, “Momma!”

The nurse kissed Lily.

Lily said, “Tommy has a sick bird, but doc Ross is sick.”

“Oh dear,” she said.

She picked up the robin like it was a bubble which can pop.

“My name is Beatrice.”

I said, “I’m Tommy.”

She took us to a little room.

Then a doc came.

He said, “The wing is injured but not broken. He needs somebody to love him for a little while. I know a ‘bird lady’ who will take care of your friend.”

Hospital wasn’t happy.

People are scared.

People are hurt.

Everyone wearing white and green ran around in a hurry.

Then a lady came in.

She had white hair.

When she saw Lily and Beatrice, they all hugged like they loved each other, like Grampa when he looks at the moon and thinks about Grandma who died.

Then she looked inside my wagon.

“My,” she said.

“I had a wagon just like this.”

I asked her if she lost it.

“No, sweetheart. I lost being little.”

I didn’t know you could lose that?

“My name is Mrs. Willow.”

She lifted the bird up and put him on the table.

The bird liked Miss Willow.

“I can fix this wing with a simple soft gauze bandage to keep the wing close to the chest and immobile. You can come and visit every day.”

I asked, “Do you live below Sycamore Road?”

 “Yes, Tommy.

“I have a big house with happy birds, trees, and a kitchen with milk and cookies for you and Lily when you visit.”

I forgot I wasn’t going to pass Sycamore Road anymore.

I cried a tiny bit again.

Lily and Miss Willow asked why?

I said, “Daddy and mommy gonna’ be mad.”

“I’ll try and help them understand, dear.

“You were being compassionate and a steward of nature.”

Miss Willow took Lily and me into her clown car.

It was painted with flowers.

Lily said, “Miss Willow drives a hippie car.”

I liked the hippie car.

When I got home mommy and daddy were on the porch.

Mommy hugged me so hard my nose got squished.

Daddy asked me, “Where did you go?”

“The hospital with my hurt red robin,” I said.

“You crossed Sycamore Road?”

“I guess so.”

He shut his eyes and shook his head. Daddy does that instead of yelling at me.

Mommy asked, “Were you scared?”

I thought about my day.

I remembered the dog.

I remembered getting lost.

I remembered Lily.

I remembered Beatrice.

I remembered Mrs. Willow.

I said, “It is not good to cross a road unless the green lite says ‘WALK’. No, mommy. I wasn’t scared.”

“Then why did you cross against our rules?”

“Because my sick robin would die under the oak tree.”

I told them Miss Willow was a bird doc who drove a hippie car. Mommy hugged Miss Willow for bringing me home.

SUNDAY 

Miss Willow, Lily and her Beatrice came to my house with the robin.

Miss Willow made cookies.

Beatrice brought soup because Grampa had a cough.

Lily picked flowers for mommy.

We all sat on the porch.

Miss Willow sat close to Beatrice on the porch.

They smiled at each other.

Like they had a secret.

Grampa smiled too.

Later I asked him.

Are they friends?

He said, “I think maybe they always were.”

The robin got better.

He jumped and flapped.

Miss Willow said the bird needs more rest at her house and we can visit.

Mommy said, “Okay”.

Daddy went golfing before they came over.

I don’t know why.

WEDNESDAY

We went to Miss Willow’s house.

Lily lived there with her mommy and Miss Willow.

Lily said she has no daddy.

Lily said she was happy with her mommy and Miss Willow.

It was an old house but happy.

I saw birds.

Dogs.

Sleeping cats.

I smelled cookies.

Miss Willow had a party for the bird.

Everybody was there.

Me.

Mommy.

Grampa.

Lily.

Beatrice.

Mrs. Willow.

Lots of people I don’t know came to the party, but Daddy was playing golf. He likes golf very much.

Beatrice and Miss Willow don’t know golf. I like that.

I picked up the robin.

I told the robin, “You don’t have to be scared.”

I opened my hand.

He fell.

Then he jumped

He flied out the window.

He flied over the house.

He flied over Sycamore Road.

Miss Willow said, “Birds know how to get home.”

I think people do, too.

Gramps said, “Birds don’t know where people make lines they won’t cross.”

I think that is smart.

Mommy says I must write what I learned.

I learned birds are little.

I learned wagons squeak.

I learned hospitals are good.

I learned Lily is my friend.

I learned Mrs. Willow smiles with her eyes.

I learned Beatrice does too.

I learned Daddys can fear things they don’t understand.

I learned mommy’s and daddies are different.

I learned robins don’t care what side of Sycamore you live on.

I learned don’t trust signs even if they are green.

I learned we meet nice people anywhere.

SATURDAY

I miss the red robin, so mommy made a trip to a national park to see if he was there.

Maybee, he has a friend like my friend Lily?

Mommy says I will see lots of birds.

Daddy says it will be a long drive in the car and won’t want to make any stops to save time.

I hope I see my red robin and he’ll know it’s me when he hears my wagon wheels.

I’m tired and need to sleep in the car until we get to the national park.

Jonathan Ferrini is the author of nearly 100 short fiction stories, poems, and screenplays. A partial collection of his short fiction may be found inside “Hearts Without Sleeves-Twenty Three Stories” available at Amazon. Jonathan is the writer/host of the Razor’s Ink Podcast nearing 90 weekly episodes where he discusses film, television, and music. Jonathan received his MFA in motion picture and television production from UCLA and is a candidate for the undergraduate diploma in Creative Writing at Oxford University.

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access Wild Winds: The Borderless Anthology of Poems

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Categories
Stories

The Blue Binder

By Jonathan B. Ferrini

From Public Domain

Victor grew up inside a trailer park with dilapidated trailers packed together like tuna in a rusty old can. His grandmother’s trailer smelled of cleaning supplies; the scent she brought home from cleaning offices overnight. She raised Victor alone after his mother abandoned him for a life as a hippie drifting from commune to commune.

She knew he was different: not able to speak, withdrawn, unable to tie his shoes, write his name, never learning personal hygiene and unable to feed himself. Schools labeled him “retarded” and wouldn’t enroll him.

In the corner of the trailer sat a dying black-and-white television with bent rabbit ears. Victor sat cross-legged inches from the television screen, mesmerized by flickering images while the picture rolled and the sound hissed. His grandmother couldn’t afford a sitter to supervise him while she worked. Victor didn’t require supervision because the television and a transistor radio kept him engaged inside a world, he felt safe.  

The components of a broken transistor radio were Victor’s playmates: a ferrite rod antenna wrapped in copper; a small oval loudspeaker; and the tuning capacitor. Other friends included the compact circuit board, cylindrical transistors, and striped resistors.

He spread the radio components across the floor. His grandmother gave him a wooden puzzle set of familiar geometric patterns. Victor preferred triangles because they had a base and stood upright like he was signaling the need for steadiness.

Victor built faces with the components of the radio; two round capacitors became eyes; a curved wire became a mouth sometimes bent upward, flat, or dipped into a quiet sadness; the loudspeaker formed the body; the ferrite rod antenna became a spine; and copper coils became hair. He placed a small transistor perched on top like a hat, tilted just enough to suggest the figure was attempting to say “hello” with a tip of its hat. Victor used components the way other children handled crayons.

His grandmother described his component constructions to his pediatrician, “He always places a mouth on the triangles.”

The pediatrician suggested,“I believe these triangles are Victor’s only way of communicating his feelings. Children like Victor require around the clock care and will never amount to anything more than grown toddlers. As he grows into manhood and you become frail, there is no alternative but to have Victor committed to a state hospital where retarded children are cared for and live out their lives.”

*

The intake office at the Junction State Hospital smelled of antiseptic and urine. The intake social worker, Joanie Greenstreet, watched Victor closely as he rocked in his chair, eyes drifting toward the ceiling.

“This is the worst part of my job. It’s best you slip out of the room with no goodbye, so Victor isn’t aware.”

Victor’s grandmother left her grandson forever.

*

Junction State Hospital was built in 1940 on state land inside the countryside, out of sight, and out of mind where the paved road with sidewalks and streetlights gave way to a narrow dirt road leading past the locked rusting gates of the hospital resembling a haunted mansion.

The hospital was for children who did not speak; rocked incessantly; banged their heads against walls; screamed at sounds no one else could hear; and couldn’t feed or bathe themselves. They were children with autism before autism had a proper name; Down Syndrome; Cerebral Palsy; learning disabilities, and genetic conditions doctors didn’t understand.

Their care required around the clock attention, which was beyond the financial resources for most families. The parents were convinced by medical providers “long-term placement”; “specialized supervision”; and “they’ll be safer” were the only alternative.

Fathers hurriedly carried suitcases inside and left quickly while mothers cried openly and others didn’t cry, having lost the ability. Many parents never came inside choosing to hand their child off to an attendant from the car like dropping a package marked “No Return Address” into a mailbox.

As the children matured inside Junction, they roamed the narrow hallways, heard keys, and came accustomed to the smell of disinfectants, faeces, and urine. They quickly learned which staff were gentle and which were not.

When they died without family, there was nowhere for them to go except for an undignified cemetery on the hospital grounds.

*

Victor was placed in a ward with boys suffering from mild to severe disabilities. Some were cunning and feigned friendship, sitting next to Victor on the edge of his bed only to touch the portable television he brought with him which he hid under the bed. His radio components were confiscated, thrown away as “choking hazards” which eliminated the safe and kind world which might shield Victor from for the horrors of the ward.  He erupted into violent fits requiring sedation and restraints at times. Victor refused group activities and meals if it meant leaving the TV behind.

*

Joanie Greenstreet was a young post-doc psychologist who tried to help Victor adjust but couldn’t reach him. She offered to keep the television safe inside her office, but Victor wouldn’t allow it to be taken from him.

The hospital’s chief psychiatrist was determined to permanently medicate Victor and subdue him into submission, but Joanie pleaded for more time to reach Victor explaining,

“I see something special inside Victor, Doctor Spencer. I need more time to reach him.”

“You supervise a large ward of boys demanding your attention and making Victor a ‘pet project’ isn’t fair to the others, but I’ll give you a limited amount of time.”

*

Doctor Spencer’s words dusted up Joanie’s memories of a failed marriage to a man whose family tree spawned several babies with “Down Syndrome” and, when she became pregnant with his baby as an undergraduate, he demanded she receive Amniocentesis testing.

The results came back showing the genetic markers for a baby with Down Syndrome. “You’ll have an abortion, dear, and we’ll try again.”

“I’ve been reading babies born with Down Syndrome can lead productive lives, dear.”

“I won’t stand for you delivering a freak of nature. Choose an immediate abortion or a divorce!”

Joanie’s decision to acquiesce to the abortion created a fracture in the marriage which led to divorce. She finished college earning a bachelor’s and master’s degree in social work determined to assist families and those afflicted with developmental disabilities.

*

Joanie motivated Victor to attend group meals by permitting him to bring along his TV.  She collected broken transistor radios from sympathetic staff members which permitted Victor to return to a familiar, safe place within his mind, inside the privacy of her office. Victor trusted Joanie.

*

After months of their meal routine, Joanie was optimistic Victor could avoid permanent sedation when he agreed to leave behind the television underneath his bed when going to meals. One evening after dinner, Joanie escorted Victor to his ward.  The television was on top of his bed and the knobs and rabbit ears were broken off accompanied by a perverse chorus of laughter and giggling from the boys inside the ward.

Victor screamed while rocking back and forth managing to break free from Joanies embrace. Three staff members subdued him with plans to administer a mind-numbing sedative. Joanie wrestled the syringe from the attendant. She held Victor tightly until he settled down.

Joanie tucked Victor into bed and sat beside him all evening. She recalled a small shop inside town, “Nakamura’s TV & Radio Repair”

*

Joanie obtained a day pass to have Victor accompany her to the repair shop. They carried the broken television inside the shop smelling of dust and warm metal cluttered with old TV sets and radios.

Kenji Nakamura was an old man with a pocket protector loaded with pens, pencils, and tiny screwdrivers. He flipped the television around, removed the back, and stared inside.

“It’s all vacuum tubes.  Even if I could find the parts, the cost of repair is more than buying a refurbished set. For ten dollars, I’ll sell you a reconditioned set including a remote control.”

Kenji held Victor’s hand, guiding his forefinger to the blue button pressing the remote. The television jumped to life with a crystal-clear screen. Victor was mesmerized by the ability to command the television.

“You’re holding a magic wand.”

Kenji leaned into Joanie and whispered, “Why don’t you buy it for the kid and take it with you?”

“I have a plan in mind which might be breakthrough therapy for Victor.”

*

Victor collected pop bottles from every trash can and sometimes absconding with half-filled soda pop bottles he found on desks. Staff members collected bottles from home and placed them inside a collection drum within Joanie’s office. Victor’s daily collection showed a work ethic with a goal in mind which impressed Joanie and Doctor Spencer.

*

After months of collecting bottles, Victor placed a soda pop bottle inside the collection drum. He pointed to a ten-dollar bill Joanie taped to the bottle collection drum reminding him of the monetary goal.

“You’ve collected five hundred bottles according to my tally. Let me hold your forefinger to the calculator. Let’s press five, zero, zero. What is the price paid for each bottle, Victor?”

Victor practiced tracing the number two and cent sign for weeks and traced the number and cent symbol with his finger in the air.

“Let’s press the letter ‘X’ which will multiply ‘500’ by two cents.”

Joanie held Victor’s forefinger to the calculator’s equal sign. “10.00” glowed in red. He ran to the ten-dollar bill taped to the collection drum, tore it off, and proudly handed it to Joanie. Victor tugged on Mrs. Greenstreet’s arm as a non-verbal signal to immediately leave for Kenji’s shop to purchase the television set.

*

Kenji proudly handed Victor the television.

“Why are packing boxes strewn about?”

“I’m retiring because transistors have put me out of business.”

He handed Victor a tattered and faded blue three-ring binder.

“These are my notes including everything I learned in the Army Signal Corps and repairing TV’s and radios for twenty years. I want you to have it.”

Victor opened it carefully as if understanding it contained magic. The pages were filled with precise pencil drawings including circuits, pathways, and transistors including handwritten notes. Victor studied the first diagram, and his breathing changed, catching Kenji’s attention.

Victor’s finger lifted and hovered above the paper before touching, following and tracing the circuits pathway. His finger shifted slightly and to a different point and found a shorter path and tapped it once. Victor looked towards Kenji as if speaking in a non-verbal communique only the two would understand. Kenji felt something stir in his gut.

Victor placed his finger in the air sketching an invisible correction knowing he mastered an improvement to the diagram. Kenji wrote on the page what Victor was inscribing in the air with his finger pencil.

“Is this what you see?”

Victor traced the path with his finger on Kenji’s diagram. He tapped it once. Kenji understood Victor was not reading the circuits like a map but inventing shortcuts for the pathways allowing the signal to flow quickly and flawlessly.

“Victor knows the signal’s destination and devised a better way for it to arrive. I hit a wall with my intellect, but Victor doesn’t see a wall. He intuitively devises pathways over, under, and around my wall. Permit him to study the binder, Joanie.”

“You believe he understands it?”

“I believe he understands what it wants to become.”

Joanie carefully turned the pages finding detailed handwritten drawings of electronic circuitry including images of tiny boxes with legs resembling metal insects.

“What are these images, Kenji?”

“Tiny transistors replacing vacuum tubes and the future of electronics.”

“Are you certain you want to part with your life’s study?”

“I’m not parting but handing the baton off to a new generation who will usher electronics into the future.”

*

Joanie set up a desk, lamp, and chair inside her office for Victor to study. Joanie watched as Victor sketched transistors and circuits. Kenji’s binder began to fill with pages of original study intuitively devised as if constructing the triangular figures he adorned with radio components. Kenji organised his study as if he were providing Victor with a light to follow discovering new pathways Victor would provide to the signal.   

Victor watched television with the binder open on his lap. The screen glowed, and so did the pages of the tattered blue binder. Nobody except Victor knew there were two signals inside; a signal guiding him through the world as it was, and the other signal showing him what the future of the world could become.

Joanie invited Doctor Spencer to review the blue binder with her. He turned each page with fascination.

“A TV repairman and Victor put this together?”

“The original work was a gift from Kenji Nakamura to Victor, but the newest pages are Victor’s original scholarship.”

“I developed a rudimentary knowledge of electronics by reading Popular Electronics as a young man. The original scholarship resembles a ‘paint by numbers’ directional guide for Victor to follow. Victor owns this?”

“Yes.”

“Small computer companies are sprouting up which will change the world. They’ll want a peek at this work but, before they do, I want to consult with a patent attorney.”

*

Victor and Joanie sat as the attorney explained the importance of protecting the blue binder with patent applications. Victor was distracted mimicking the finger gestures of a secretary striking the keys of a typewriter.

“I’ve prepared a retainer agreement but given Victor’s diminished mental acuity, he’ll require a guardian’s signature.”

“Doctor Spencer will sign.”

“I’m also preparing a trust for the benefit of Victor.”

“Why is that necessary?”

“Stand by and find out, Joanie.”

*

Vigorous attempts to locate Kenji led to an obituary about his burial at Arlington National Cemetery.

Negotiations for purchasing the blue binder followed quickly after filing the patent applications with the potential sale price reaching into the millions of dollars.

“If Victor will agree to sell the blue binder, he can build a home suitable for his special needs with round the clock care and retain a sizable estate for himself.”

“You must make Victor understand the value of his intellectual property or in time, others may improve upon Victor’s innovations, and the blue binder will become worthless.

*

Money meant nothing to Victor because his world didn’t comprehend what it could buy, control, or influence. Victor refused to look at renditions of new homes because the small bed inside the ward with his black and white remote-controlled television was home.

Joanie never attempted to influence Victor to sell the blue binder. She made gentle suggestions as though placing electronic components on a workbench and trusting his hands to assemble them. She hit a nerve when she mentioned,

“…kindness is its own reward like a gift from Kenji to you of the blue binder allowing you to carry on his study.”

Victor understood Joanie that meant the signal’s pathway design was finally completed. Kenji provided him with a compass to follow along transistor trail, and Victor understood currents moving through copper also move through people. He knew currents went where it was guided, and money was a current. Victor found the inspiration to provide others with the happiness he found inside a smiling electronic triangle built with components.

*

Doctor Spencer retired from Junction State Hospital and devoted his retirement years to pioneering the burgeoning field of neuroscience. Doctor Spencer made a visit to Victor before leaving the hospital forever. He came upon Victor sitting with Joanie as he designed improved pathways inside the blue binder.

“I’ve spent my medical career learning how signals move through the brain and become interrupted requiring people to live inside Junction State Hospital. Big electronic boxes called ‘computers’ are helping us to understand why pathways become distorted and the signals are lost inside the brain. Your blue binder can help us build smarter computers and show us how to repair twisted pathways and confused signals.”

Victor turned his attention back into the pages of the binder not noticing Doctor Spencer and Joanie had left the ward. Doctor Spencer left behind a framed photograph of himself, Victor, and Joanie, taken not long after Victor arrived at the hospital. The photo was a reminder of the first day he didn’t feel alone but happy like the smiling triangle wearing a hat.

*

Joanie returned to her office from morning rounds to find the blue binder on her chair with a smiling component triangle inscribed with a letter, “I”. Doctor Spencer explained the notation was an engineering abbreviation for the term “sustained current”.

*

Joanie retired but Victor remained enjoying quiet happiness watching his television illuminating darkness. The framed photograph of Joanie, Dr. Spencer, and himself was hung near his bed. On his nightstand, a vacuum tube gifted to him by Kenji remained reminding Victor that it once provided the glow behind a television screen creating light, but now, he felt like he gifted the same glow creating light to others made possible by the advances within neuroscience leaping from the pages of the blue binder.

*

Institutions like Junction State Hospital were replaced with group homes providing home-like environments and patients transferred elsewhere. Victor didn’t moan the loss of familiar people because he lived within the circuitry of his mind where the signals resembling Joanie’s quiet voice and Kenji’s patient hands remained.

Victor was the last to be buried within the hospital cemetery. Junction State Hospital was replaced by a new state college.  The neuroscience institute created a scholarship for underprivileged students studying electrical engineering named, The Blue Binder Scholarship.

Although the hospital was forgotten, Victor remained broadcasting a signal comprised of memories including love passing like currents between human beings.

                Victor Kline
1958–2014
He could not live in the world as it was,
so he quietly helped build the one that came next.

Jonathan Ferrini is the author of nearly one hundred short stories and poems. He is the host and writer of the weekly “The Razor’s Ink Podcast” where he discusses movies, television, and music. A partial collection of Jonathan’s short stories has been published within Hearts Without Sleeves Twenty-Three Stories (available at Amazon). Jonathan received his MFA in motion picture and television at UCLA. He resides in San Diego, California.

.

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Click here to access Monalisa No Longer Smiles on Kindle Amazon International

Categories
Stories

Two Black Dresses

By Jonathon B Ferrini

From Public Domain

Every day at three o’clock, as the afternoon sun fought through the dusty windows and escaped the obstruction caused by the high school down the street, a teenage girl would slip quietly into a boutique. She never spoke, never bought anything, just wandered to the same rack and lingered over a particular black dress.  Minerva watched her, recognising the weight of grief in the girl’s eyes she knew too well.

The girl would lift the simple black satin dress off the rack and wrap it around her as if embracing somebody very special.

After a few moments with the dress, the girl returned it to the rack and quickly left the store without a word spoken with tears streaming down her face.

*

Minerva used her late husband’s life insurance money to buy a little boutique she’d admired for years. The shop sold consignment women’s clothing and served as a sanctuary for Minerva to pour her sorrow into something tangible, to help women and girls find joy in clothing and accessories. The shop was a fragile haven built from a life including love, loss, and longing. Every shelf, every dress, every faded photograph tucked behind the register was a thread in the tapestry of her survival, but a lump found during a breast self-examination ignited anxiety which weighed heavily upon her.

Each morning, Minerva opened the shop, she was certain the lump was a “call” to “fold her hand” as the world felt like it was determined to break her.

*

One afternoon, as the bell tinkled above the door announcing a customer, Minerva looked up from her ledger. The girl was there again; her gaze fixed on the black dress. This time, she hesitated, then approached the counter, clutching the black dress including a second, almost identical dress but in a different size.

“Could I try these on?”

“Of course, dear.

“The fitting rooms behind me.”

A few minutes later, the girl emerged, the black satin dress draping heavy over her small frame. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, then turned to Minerva, uncertainty clouding her face.

“How does it look?”

Minerva stepped closer.

“May I ask, why this one?

“It doesn’t seem to fit you properly.

“I believe the black cotton dress will fit you perfectly.”

The girl hesitated, her fingers twisting the hem of the satin dress.

“My friend and I… we wanted to dress up and go to the prom together. She was killed in a hit-and-run accident. I can’t stop thinking about her. This black satin dress… it’s the only thing she tried on here. It’s all I have left of her.”

Minerva’s heart clenched. She spoke as if embracing the girl, her voice soft.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Loss is a heavy thing to carry.”

The girl’s eyes shimmered with tears.

“I just… I wanted to feel close to her again. I thought maybe, if I wore the black satin dress, I could remember what it felt like to laugh with her.”

Minerva nodded, her own memories surfacing including her daughter’s laughter, a husband’s steady presence, and the ache of their absence.

“I can only imagine the emotional trauma you’re suffering, but please, allow me to share my sorrow with you, and together, we might lessen our heartache and move forward, stronger. I lost both my daughter and husband. Once, my world included a loving husband, Paul. He was a hard as nails career Marine whose stern exterior hid a heart that beat for his family. Marrying Paul provided me an opportunity to escape the role of only daughter to dysfunctional parents rooted inside a small town offering no prospects for self-fulfillment or escape.

“Marriage to Paul included a patchwork of military bases and hurried goodbyes, of late-night phone calls and the constant ache of uncertainty whether he’d be called to war. I learned to be strong; to pack up our life at a moment’s notice, but I also learned to find beauty even inside environments built for war. I found work inside clothing stores wherever we landed because I was drawn to the way fabric could transform a person, and how a simple dress could make a woman feel alive, special, or different even for one occasion.

“I apologise for tearing, but you remind me of our daughter, Emily, the light of my life. Emily’s spirit was wild and restless, her laughter echoing through the cramped military apartments and purring inside my heart. Emily drifted away to somewhere unknown inside her mind as if being pulled by currents I couldn’t fight including Paul’s ’tough love’ and frequent physical admonishments also inflicted upon me. 

“The phone call came on a cold November morning: Emily was gone, lost to a Fentanyl overdose on a bed inside a stranger’s home. The grief rolled over me like a tidal wave, relentless and suffocating. Paul tried to be strong, but the loss hollowed him out like no weapons he’d ever known. 

“Less than a year later, his heart stopped forever, leaving me with nothing but memories and the silence of an empty house we purchased after Paul retired. Some days, the memories are all that keep me going.”

The girl looked up, surprised.

“Does it ever get easier?”

“Not easier, but you learn to live with the pain of loss. I’ve learned kindness helps stitch the pieces back together.”

The girl glanced at the price tag, her face disappointed.

“I can’t afford both dresses.”

“You don’t have to. These are my gift for you.”

“But… why?”

“Because I know what it’s like to need something to hold onto. Giving is the only way I can heal.”

Tears spilled down the girl’s cheeks.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,”

Minerva carefully folded the dresses and placed them inside a gift box including a pink ribbon adorned with small hearts around the box. 

“Promise me you’ll remember the good times and let yourself laugh again, when you’re ready.”

The girl nodded, clutching the box to her chest.

“I will.

Thank you.”

Minerva watched the girl slowly leave the shop and turn towards her before exiting. She mouthed the words,

“I love you.”

The girl left and the slight spring in her step signaled to Minerva signs of hope flickering in the ashes of her sorrow, and although Minerva didn’t get her name, she instinctively knew it was a brief encounter with her beloved Emily which gave her the final contact she desperately needed.

*

The doctor diagnosed Minerva with metastatic breast cancer. Minerva remembered staring at the ceiling in the doctor’s office, feeling as if her body was telling her the fight against grief was soon to be completed and she could join Emily and Paul in the afterlife.

The hardest blow came when the doctor informed her,

“The treatments will include a double mastectomy surgery, chemo, and radiation. If you want a chance of beating the cancer, it will require your complete devotion to rest and recovery. You won’t be able to keep up with the demands of operating the business.”

*

The words echoed in her mind as she stared at the racks of dresses, the sunlight struggling to pour through the fabrics mirroring the tears behind the black veil Minerva wore at two funerals and today, a struggle for her own life. Closing the shop felt like losing another piece of herself.

She lingered by the window, watching the sun dip below the horizon. She thought of her daughter, husband, all the moments lost, and the memories that remained. In giving the girl those two black dresses, Minerva was reminded that even in the depths of loss, kindness could stitch together the torn fabric of a broken heart. She had hoped to hear the familiar chime above the door open one final time and reveal the lovely girl. Minerva knew she was off chasing her own life which would reveal twists and turns. Minerva prayed the girl would be guided by kindness and knowing loss and misery is universal.

Recalling the happiness in the girl’s face carrying both dresses helped Minerva find the resolve to survive. She turned the sign on the door to “Closed,” knowing she would never open it again. But as Minerva locked up, she felt, for the first time in a long while, that she was not alone and would confront her illness head on with a newfound resolve to live.

From Public Domain

Jonathan B. Ferrini is the published author of over seventy fiction stories and poems. A partial collection of his short stories may be found in Within Hearts Without Sleeves. Twenty-Three Stories at Amazon. Jonathan also writes and produces a weekly podcast about film, television, and movies named, “The Razor’s Ink Podcast with Jonathan Ferrini.” Jonathan received his MFA in motion picture and television production from UCLA. He resides in San Diego.

.

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Click here to access Monalisa No Longer Smiles on Kindle Amazon International