Tag: Deccan Herald

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

Since childhood days, I was offered what I believed to be an adult desk: a solid wood table with impressive dimensions suited for professionals instead of young learners. Introduced early to the grand furniture piece did not generate a sense of superiority until the day my close friend shot an envious look at it, ran his delicate hands on the smooth polished surface and rested his chubby cheeks to feel its naked coldness. Emulating him to derive similar pleasure from the wooden marvel, I realised the cold sensory bliss and fostered a special attachment to this possession, finding time in between the lessons to smother my hands on the table top or rub my thighs against its intricately carved supple legs. The sensuous awakening of entwined legs could be read differently but the innocence of the experience carried nothing except pure bliss.

The bonding with the study table was solid in more ways than one. A constant companion that absorbed my tears faster than any human hand could reach to wipe them off, the desk witnessed almost everything ecstatic and tumultuous that happened in those growing up years. It was the space that saw me pick up new tastes, new habits. From doodling on its surface with the dark pencil to highlight my drawing skills, the table allowed its body to be used as a springboard to catapult my imagination. I was immersed in the act of carving something new and permanent but most of my efforts shamed me, leaving me desperate to replace those with something funky, more in keeping with my inchoate artistic sensibilities.

Years of fiddling registered no marked improvement in my output but the flawless skin of the desk was bruised – and it never completely recovered from those childish, frivolous strokes. Both of us grew up together with scratches and bruises on the body – those on mine disappeared with the power of natural healing while those on the desk remained stark and etched, reminding me of what hell I had made it undergo just to keep myself engaged. Weird, non-existing creatures were brought to life even though I later felt shy to call them my creations or displaying them anywhere. I tried to hide those by spreading a tablecloth but the attractive wood looked marginalised with the desperate cover-up bid. 

Adorning it with a tablecloth embroidered by my mother worried me as the tutors were often served hot and cold drinks on the desk. My academic guides were often retired. With their shaky hands they could spill a lot of liquid that would damage the fine cloth, making her clean it repeatedly and vigorously to restore its sheen. Such accidental brushes could also happen due to my exciting outbursts – while casually picking up or placing something on it. Such a protective measure to safeguard the desk would display the beautiful tablecloth, but it would also spike the probability of damage to it.

When I asked whether she was okay with the lurking fear and nagging anxiety of damage to her embroidered creation, she said she had never indulged in negative thinking. Even if it got damaged, she would not fret or fume but simply replace it with her new work. Her readiness to put in extra effort to create another piece was a sign of confidence suggesting that the creator should always have the faith to create beautiful pieces instead of worrying about safe upkeep. This triggered a different line of thinking. I could be a risk-taker and would expose myself to the dangers of damage to creations instead of worrying about it all the time. Now, I felt mentally at ease and free. It made me enjoy the process of creation and its output to the fullest.

Among other benefits, the desk with the chair enabled me to sit erect and sometimes generated a sense of authority. I felt empowered there with the pen within my grip. It made me feel close to writing classical tales or passing legal judgments. The presence of a pen-stand and the variety of pens with refills ranging from blue to green to red to black, with fountain pens and dot pens co-existing harmoniously, gave the freedom to write with any colour and then to correct with red ink, thus,  combining the power of the learner and the examiner rolled into one. I loved to use red to strike out my verbose sentences like the teachers who used it to point out errors.

Resting my head on the desk amounted to brief lapses into the fantasy world as the mind journeyed to faraway lands. An hour of imagining a world where horses flew like birds and fish hopped on the grass could not rein in the wild impossibilities. The lack of logic provided laughter and immense joy – the world turned upside down was a thing of beauty as it strengthened my ability to make it grotesque. Sometimes I envisaged a cub sitting in front of me even though it was a cat pawing my geometry box. As I remained half-asleep and half-awake on the precious desk, I was navigating two precious but different worlds at the same time – the real and the unreal. The desk facilitated my first flight of imagination and inspired me to repeatedly indulge in that experience, nurturing the storyteller with half-baked ideas that required the firm support of reading to make a solid landing.

The desk witnessed the arrival of story books and allowed a dedicated space for non-academic texts. As the pile of relaxed reading material grew taller than the academic stuff, it was time for the family to express concern. A tough balancing act by pushing up the grades was the easiest way to address their fears, followed by inculcating a sense of responsibility that the syllabus was as important as the reading material for leisure.

The presence of current affairs and film magazines, apart from fables and mythological tales added genres to the desk, with my father stacking up his weeklies on my desk after he had finished reading them.  I loved to spend more time occupying this space. Soon I began to indulge in writing pieces that matured from paragraphs to essays. I had convinced myself if I had to write something interesting and worthwhile I needed adopt a proper, dignified posture to think clearly and then jot down ideas on paper. Imposing this self-discipline was easier with the lure of the wooden desk. I could sit there for long hours at a stretch – the first crucial requirement before one thinks of pursuing writing.

The realisation that the desk was wooden but my writing should not be wooden came my way when I was struggling to produce a lively short piece. I found much scope to improve after the first draft, but I softened the nasty blow on my ego which was beginning to acquire a fearsome form. I showed the piece to my tutor who had his own critical take on a teenager’s struggle to write, signing off with a cryptic good-effort comment that left me craving for clarity. The thoughts were scattered like fluffy cotton balls floating in the air. I wished to acquire better control to put them together. To put it briefly, the desk witnessed the despair and repair and everything else that celebrates the slow churning of a small-time writer. Placing a decent piece in a reputed publication and displaying it on the wooden desk that housed many great works formed a vague dream that translated into reality much later.

The attached drawer was a convenient space to hide personal items such as love letters and adult magazines. Since nobody came here to check the space, it was suitable for stashing pocket money and everything else that required secrecy. Being lockable, I could utilise it with full security and safety. When the tutors or guardians noticed I was maintaining a lockable space, it was a clear sign that the boy was growing up with his pile of secrets. Nobody tried to unearth what I was squirreling away even though they had perhaps imagined the predictable and worst possible things. I did overhear the elders hatch a plan to detach the drawer. They solicited advice from a carpenter, seeking his opinion regarding how to do it without causing any damage to the antique table. His suggestion not to tamper with it was accepted without further argument since there was a high risk of damaging one of its legs. Before they could think of anything else, I chose to remove the lock and offered them full access with the key, showing signs of intelligence that made them feel assured I was not misusing it in any manner. While my idea was to keep the beautiful piece look complete instead of amputated, it was surely an outcome of my attachment to the wooden piece that I believed should remain in my possession so long as I am alive. As two companions engaged in a mission to produce the best creative work, we chose to stay together and work together with the fond hope that this partnership would produce some magical work.

Showing no signs of ageing, the sturdy table still flaunts a youthful look, as if it has been just crafted. The ability to remain fresh over the years should be there in writing as well –the reader should be able to relate to the work even after ages. Even when it is read generations later, it should always stay mint fresh.

With the passage of time, more gadgets had arrived on the desk and demanded space – like the desktop computer. Keeping almost half of it clean and vacant was not a challenge as it was quite long and wide. The tall glass of water or a cup of coffee and a fruit bowl also remain on it without giving a cluttered look. I did not have to make hard choices or compromises – what to keep and what to discard. It allowed me the space to write long-hand and then type it on the keyboard without tumbling other objects.

The finesse of the wooden desk inspired me to strive for perfection. The intricate wood carvings and the perfect finish made me feel the need to attach these qualities to my writing. Getting the structure ready was similar to framing the wooden structure first. Chiselling it further to make the rough edges look smooth made me think of doing the same in terms of writing. When everything gets joined, it looks no less than a wonder: just like joining sentences and then adding paragraphs. The process of carpentry bears strong similarities with the process of writing. The art of beautiful writing and beautiful carving in wood blended in my psyche. Using it to create chiselled work touched a chord.

I have been told the table looks vintage – although it has retained fresh appeal. I have been told to think of replacements. But I have been stubborn on the topic of retaining it – not falling prey to engineered wood and all that new stuff that lacks the indispensable feature of durability. Like solid wood furniture, the writing should also survive the test of time. The desk has subtly groomed me to be strong and resilient like it since childhood days.

Both of us are capable of surviving umpteen rejections and we have shared moments of sadness. The drawer was the place where the rejected pieces were dumped. If any member of the family ever raided the place for something shocking, he would have found several letters from editors, suggesting my temerity to approach them with my pieces that could not be carried for multiple reasons. The creative bug bit me here and then one thing led to another in a chain of events that sucked me into the world of writing. I always felt that the wooden desk was sorrowful and consoled me that these gems of failure would sparkle one day. A silent motivator that did not allow the termites of depression to infest my soul. 

On days when I sat elsewhere to ideate or write, I did not feel in my element.  As if I missed out something valuable and I must return to its fold at the earliest – inspired to create something beautiful like the table. With this soothing thought relaxing the nerves, I felt a surge of confidence – of writing something compelling and long-lasting like the wooden desk and displaying the content right there to match or surpass its excellence.  

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Click here to access Monalisa No Longer Smiles on Kindle Amazon International

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

Just like attaining the eligible age to vote or marry, I am convinced that some individuals – awakened souls I mean – acquire the power to bless only after a certain age. Premature greying of hair lends the wrong impression that I have already reached the age to raise my hand to shower blessings like rose petals. Misled by the ageing process showing visible signs, a senior couple came home with their newly-wed son and daughter-in-law, directing them to touch my feet and seek blessings. I withdrew my pedicured feet before they could reach there and patted the padded shoulder of the bridegroom wearing a sherwani instead of placing my hand on his head. It must have appeared odd to the family that I had not shown the willingness to bless the newly-married couple in a proper, traditional manner. My heavy pat was an attempt to boost his morale and brace him up for the challenges ahead or it could be interpreted as a thumping appreciation that he had garlanded the right partner after a long wait since the pandemic.

My life has not been spiritually gifted or divinely blessed, so I do not wish to behave like a saint to transfer goodness or good wishes. Besides, I do not think my soothing words of blessings have any magical power to alter the destiny of an individual. If the guy drinks and drives and rams his car into a truck, my live-long blessings would have no meaning. If the fellow turns into a gambler, my tons of blessings cannot save his wealth.  

When it comes to seeking blessings, I am always ready to receive. I have tried to build a reservoir of blessings over the years but these have not proved to be beneficial in terms of growth. Maybe those who blessed me were also spiritually weak or they did not possess the divine aura to bless. Or perhaps my fate was so overloaded with tragedies that most of those blessings had been utilised to neutralise dark episodes and ensure a smooth, steady life without any highs or lows. The stabilising influence of blessings has been the most convincing and comforting argument I can offer myself, to feel assured that blessings do have an impact if sourced well.

Forget the blessings of ordinary mortals, which come with a doubtful efficacy rate like vaccine shots. Focus on the blessings of the divine alone. My double standards are revealed when I ask other people to stop seeking blessings from me but always look eager to receive blessings from people all around me. The opportunity to seek blessings from mendicants when they receive foodgrains or currency is never lost. I go out of the way in my greed to collect blessings. My key objective behind every act of charity is to receive blessings and raise a buffer stock – fit to use during troubled times.

In the matter of seeking blessings from the Lord, I forget to make a list of what I want. Usually, it is long like a grocery list. I know the others praying are also seeking similar blessings from the Lord. Sometimes I feel I should rein in my greed to receive blessings and request the Lord to distribute my share among the other seekers. But this noble thought perishes soon. The fear of a dull, aching life without divine blessings returns to haunt me. The arrogance of having to survive without his blessings can only invite curse and misfortune.  

There have been several instances where young people have come forward to seek my blessings. I give them a warm hug instead without explaining why I am incapable of giving blessings. A fanboy reader in my neighbourhood made the mistake of considering me a wise, well-read scholar and hoped to get blessed to write better – simply by touching my feet. I stepped back and asked him to write more and face rejections to improve his creative skills instead of pinning high hopes on a direct benefit transfer through his act of submissiveness. 

Even if I proclaim myself as a sinner, those who associate me with goodness will never buy my story. I cannot tell them I do not think I have reached the fag-end of my life when all I can do is sit by the riverside and distribute blessings to the world. I think my life itself is a blessing and I must stay afloat and blessed forever to live it to the fullest.

A situation emerged when I was enraged and felt I must curse the chap with a bleak future as he tested the limits of my patience by challenging my faith in God. I said in anger that he would suffer horribly for offending me though I had been kind and helpful to him. I was confident that my curse would wreak havoc but within a few years he really prospered. Though we did not meet after that incident and I do not intend to bump into him again, I am sure he must be eager to tell me that my curse was nothing more than a fake mumbling of an overheated brain. It made me conclude that even though I had not tested my power to bless, the power to curse had been tested and it misfired. Sometimes I feel like writing a mythological tale based on curses but then I am reminded whether those curses would lack potency and weaken the plot instead.   

Incurring the wrath of saints is never a good idea – a lesson acquired after a memorable encounter with a group of sadhus who came close to getting offended by my tendency to bargain with them. As their kohl-lined eyes grew wider to scare me and the tongue began lashing out invectives to scold me for monetary attachment in this transient world, I loosened my purse strings to bring them back from the verge of spewing fire and converted their harsh words into the nectar of admiration.

I have not cursed too many people, not even those who ditched me, ever since I realised my zero potential to curse effectively. Many people have been offended or snubbed without a valid reason and they have cursed me behind my back – quite effectively in my case at least. Whenever I accost them, they are so cheerful that I forget their tendency to curse.  

Seeking blessings is reduced to a mere formality prevalent all around. There are many opportunists who fake it and come forward to seek blessings just to make you feel superior. The younger relatives who visit me to seek blessings are politely asked to identify the actual elders in the family and bow down before them. A septuagenarian wields more power to bless vis-à-vis a person who is flirting with middle-age. I prefer to seek blessings from elders even today and permanently occupy the slot of a recipient instead of becoming a donor of blessings. 

Having realised that I am not the one empowered to bless or curse a person, I avoid getting into this trap now. No divine light emerges from my palm so I keep my hands clasped in prayer instead of raising it too often to bless like a godman popping up through the panoramic sunroof of his luxurious SUV.  

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Click here to access Monalisa No Longer Smiles on Kindle Amazon International

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

The white cat cuddles up on the furry brown mat right outside the entrance door. After I lock the gate leading to the granite steps, it slips in through the iron grille, assured that this seat will ensure comfortable sleep at night. So long as it makes no noise to disturb me, this arrangement works fine. Sometimes when I wake up early, I forget to peep out through the glass window to check whether it is still there. My sudden opening of the door hits her legs and she quickly vacates the spot, turning back to stare and warn that my inhospitable disruption would draw a bloody scratch.

It is true she would have slept longer if I had not arrived on the scene. The feline is entitled to jump to the conclusion that I am the culprit who did not show a sensitive side by tendering an apology through expression. Making an effort to introspect mirrored how miserable I felt when I was groggy with sleep – head buried under the pillow – especially if a domineering member of the family pulled me out of the cosy comforter and rebuked me for being lethargic. My humble submissions for another fifteen minutes of restful sleep were always rejected like salary hike requests. Drawing this parallel provided the solace that I still had a  functional ability to regenerate the tender side.

To make amends, I woke up late or delayed opening the door, allowing the cat the opportunity to snooze for a longer duration. Any kind of clatter inside the house could disturb her sleep so I took extra precautions to maintain peace in the kitchen. I chided myself for not being courteous enough to offer a bowl of milk to welcome the guest. These were clear indications that my sensitive side was kicking in!  

The decline of the sensitive side usually gets overlooked in the rush to cope with daily commitments. When something awful and unexpected occurs, the journey to explore within and measure the decline begins all of a sudden. One tends to becomes extra vigilant, checks repeatedly the extent of damage and how to recover the lost ground. The natural ability to be sensitive and the efforts to restore it calls for consistent efforts that strengthen bonds with nature and its allies.

The other day I woke up late as I binge-watched a lot. It slipped out of my mind that the pigeons were waiting to be fed. When I reached the garden, most of them had taken flight. There were still a few of them hopping around. As I served foodgrains, there was a scramble to peck at it. They settled down to polish off whatever their eyes could find and then proceeded to spread their wings in the air. After their exit, smaller birds like sparrows descended from the branches of a guava tree to have their fill. The squirrels on the garage roof availed the hollow pipe to come down with alacrity, to search for remnants. I thought I should arrange something for them, probably nuts. It was a mere idea without any urge to act immediately. Some minutes later, I came inside to proceed with other chores but I kept thinking about the pigeons – about the ones who could not wait and those who stayed there.  

The loss of patience was natural as the pigeons knew I was never so late. Instead of wasting time, they flew away to other options to have their fill. I could relate to this practical behaviour as I myself do not like being kept waiting to be served tea or coffee at home or in a café and have often shown the tendency to leave. Somewhere deep inside I relished the thought that those who waited for my arrival were close to me and shared a strong bond that I became aware of through this episode.

The packet of peanuts was torn, and it slipped out of my hands when I tried to fill them in a glass jar. A handful of nuts fell on the tiled floor. I gathered those nuts and opened the kitchen window to offer it to the squirrels still lounging in the garden. Perhaps the universe had communicated my thoughts to them. Within minutes, the squirrels vanished with the booty. Though it is widely believed that the food reaches for whom it is meant, it shows gross insensitivity when food is wasted or thrown away. How can it possibly be acceptable that some human beings are destined to scavenge for food in garbage bins?

Some mornings are special as the sight of a herd of cows grazing on the grass outside the main gate motivates me to offer them greens such as cauliflower and cabbage leaves. Their mastication draws the attention of stray dogs who feel my act of preferential treatment cannot be overlooked.  Their collective barking peaks, reminding me that I must offer them something as well. Serving biscuits is the easiest way to calm them. When I give them something to eat, their anger subsides.

Feeling left out is painful as I can recollect how miserable and low I felt when I was not considered fit for the school cricket team despite being a good player. The stray dogs tamed their resistance and allowed the cows to graze without any confrontation, following them like escorts. The sight of two different species bonding so well became an inspiration, making me wonder how I can emulate this example and make my house an abode for multiple creatures to co-exist and care for each other without any fear of competition.

I am not a regular when it comes to feeding the cows crossing my house. But I have noticed some of them slowing down their pace in front of my gate, anticipating something to be served to them. Now I intend to add breadcrumbs or chapatis or anything they like to eat, making it a regular practice to place something for them. Being quite punctual like pigeons, their arrival signals they have memorised my address and they take a break to stop and chew here. The neighbour has shown the competitive spirit to become sensitive by placing a tumbler full of water for all animals. Cows eat from my home and then proceed to quench their thirst next door. I should celebrate such healthy competition as the neighbour is playing a positive role to find his space in the connected world by becoming useful to other species.  

Recently, I bought a bird feeder and decided to put it up in the garden, with the support of bamboo poles. Before summer sets in, the bird feeder should be installed. A little bit of digging of the soil is required and this tiresome activity slows me down. I made a resolution to hire someone to do the job if it proved too cumbersome for me. Although I am aware it’s getting delayed, I am not making any effort to complete it.

When I finally went to the garden on a Sunday afternoon, I saw dried-up, hardened soil and felt disappointed. Watering plants should be a priority. The petunias made my windows look beautiful, with the purple and white blooms. I was busy clicking photos and sharing them  for likes but I was not ready to accept that these plants needed more attention to bloom better and for longer. I had seen them growing in other places during this season, in other bungalows, boulevards, and other cottages. I needed to be modest in accepting the fact that I had not shown a highly sensitive side when it came to nurturing them with love. If I could dedicate fifteen minutes every day, to water them early in the day, I would have shown better signs of care.

Nowadays, I am happy just watering them – whenever I find the time. There is a palpable loss of my sensitive side as I consider it is sufficient to water plants without thinking too much about fixing a timeline. I need to remember how quickly I reach out for a glass of water whenever I am thirsty. But in case of plants, I have concluded that watering them is enough – delaying it does not generate any smidgen of guilt.

The truth is that plants also need water regularly and performing this task early in the day is better. Before I consume the first glass of water, I must ensure the plants have quenched their thirst. I should stop comparing myself with those who do not water plants. I should not feel I am doing the plants any favour. When the plants grow healthy here, they create a positive environment for the residents to lead happier lives. Instead of taking pride in providing any noble service, I should change my mindset and think that there are hundreds of more ways to strengthen the sensitive side. These are some smalls steps as the awakening grows deeper. Knowing the depth of love knows no end. Similarly, the depth of sensitivity is never fully known. All we can do is keep growing sensitive to make this world a better place for all creatures. 

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Click here to access Monalisa No Longer Smiles on Kindle Amazon International

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

Newspapers with audited accounts of circulation and readership surveys gave the opportunity to claim that your piece was read by millions of readers. Even though the metrics did not suggest how the individual piece performed in terms of garnering readership, the millions of people who bought the newspaper were assumed to have read what you wrote. Unlike the digital space where the complete picture of reads, likes, and shares is accessible, the traditional media platforms provided a cover to indulge in tall claims of popularity and the collective statistics delivered a high to those who dabbled in writing to see their name in print. Even if the truth was that your piece was the least read one, there was no way to establish that in the editorial room where the high-brow editors cherry-picked on the basis of quality of writing and the relevance of the topic.

Bouquets and brickbats in the form of letters to the editor was the only reliable way to assess the merit or demerit of the piece, but these letters were dashed off as reactions to columns by leading commentators in the belief that the editor would grant space for the feedback on what the heavyweight columnists churned out. Readers were apprehensive that their letters would end up in the slush pile if they focused on newcomers. This fear was not unfounded as the interactive engagement often appeared limited to luminaries and experts on the edit pages.

Being published next to a syndicated column meant the equivalent of placing your debut novel on the same bookshelf where the works of a bestselling novelist were displayed. As neighbours, you had the liberty to brag about enjoying the same status even though your readership was negligible. You rushed to the newspaper vendor to buy additional copies of the same edition and keep it archived in your portfolio of published works. Printing xerox copies for circulation in your group of friends and relatives was the next big activity but the target group pricked your ego by saying that they do not read the newspaper that carried your piece. It was a polite way of saying that your breakthrough was no big achievement as they did not consider that newspaper suitable for reading.  

The desire to see your name in print again and again was a good motivator in the initial stage. Since you never knew you would get the same space twice in a month, it was a struggle to try another kind piece to ensure you were carried on some other supplement page in the next week. You wanted readers of all age groups to notice your name in the newspaper, to register it in the list of frequent contributors. The easiest way to do so was to keep writing on a diverse range of topics. The byline fever gripped you and a week without a piece in the same newspaper or its competitor felt like a long gap of staying away from the limelight. Writing in a hurry also involved the risk of getting your piece rejected. Maintaining the same quality of writing and factual accuracy through proper research work was important because the team of editors should not get disappointed with any of your submission. As a precautionary move, bombing them with low quality pieces for the sake of byline was ruled out. But the obsession to become a regular contributor with a dedicated space led to several attempts across multiple genres to find your strengths. Even though you were able to find out what worked better in terms of flow and engagement, it was not possible to share the same observations with editors who drew their own inferences.

To keep struggling to write with no reward meant sustenance despite all odds. In such a situation, the byline was a big attraction to continue writing. If journalistic writing led to occasional disappointments, you had the freedom to turn to middles and infuse a dose of humour. There was further scope to write short stories and create a new world of awe, with the illustrator adding visual attraction to the theme of your fiction. This was a great opportunity to find your creative bent and, in case, it clicked, you could submit more elsewhere before getting a solo book of short stories published. Writing for some years in this fashion gave you adequate exposure and you turned confident enough to switch from regional publications to national dailies. Listing these achievements in the resume managed to draw the attention of an employer who himself was keen to get published in the same newspaper without releasing advertisements.

There was anxiety and depression every weekend as the expected publication of your piece was delayed due to editorial discretion. You went to browse at the nearby bookstall to know if you were inside the pages. The joy of seeing your name in print lit up your eyes and you picked up extra copies of the same publication without explaining to the vendor what made you do so. If you were lucky to find space for some weeks at a stretch, you chose to subscribe to it. But when you fell out of favour due to changes in the editorial policy or on account of a new editor storming in with his loyal team of freelancers, you felt like cancelling the subscription plan and never writing again. This temporary phase was soon over – when you found another piece of yours getting picked up by a rival publication. You felt buoyed again, determined to get your byline pieces carried to various homes. Your family was glad you were getting published so they did not discourage you. But they were aware you were getting close to the space where politicians dominated. They were convinced you had a future in writing even if it was an unstable one.

Although the honorarium was a modest amount, the thrill of getting paid for the piece was intense. You felt encouraged to write more to get those cheques and line up for encashment in MNC banks. The recovery of courier and stationery expenses from the published works removed the guilt of suffering losses in case of rejections. The newspaper stayed the whole day on your desk and additional copies were displayed in the lobby or the entrance, to let the guests or visitors catch a glimpse of the edition becoming special with your piece. The frisson of delight petered out as the frequency of publication gathered pace. Many readers, including friends and relatives, wrote to the editor in praise of your piece even though you never got to read those flattering comments in print.

When a delighted reader approached the newspaper office to gather your postal address and mailed a long epistle in appreciation of the style, it was an out of the world experience in the pre-digital era. When the elderly reader requested you to meet him at his residence, you did not feel shy to reach out to a stranger. Despite the wide age-gap, the conversation flowed well on writing issues as he was curious to find out whether it was a flirtatious relationship with writing or something more serious and everlasting would flower. Without confirming anything, you let it remain open-ended and interpretative. Despite your best efforts, the elderly reader inferred it was going to be an enduring relationship. When he confessed he was a writer with a book out of print, it was a humbling experience as you sat in front of a published author whereas you had no such credit. He got up and offered a signed copy and sought candid feedback on his work. You felt being the chosen one who could revive his interest in writing and motivate the septuagenarian.

You were also reminded of similar moments of frustration and encouragement from multiple sources. In his case, the story was different as he was battling health issues and yet seeking out advice pertaining to whether he should pursue writing or quit the domain. You felt like saying the magic of creativity should be kept alive even if there is nothing rewarding in the pursuit. You did not need to read the book to deliver this piece of advice. Whether he took it seriously or brushed it aside as a generic observation could not be ascertained. Later attempts to communicate proved futile. Perhaps he was gone, from the city or left the world, or maybe, the landline phone was dead. Searching for his byline in the newspapers and tomes in the bookstores produced no result. You did not feel like trudging up to the same apartment to uncover a bitter truth.

Your friends in the varsity were the most critical readers who always found something lacking in your piece but were also generous to appreciate the attempt. Some were jealous and competitive – driven by the urge to appear on the same page – and they went to the same editor with their submissions. Unable to bear rejection, they spread the word that the editor sought freebies to publish opinion pieces and it was the surest way to get a byline. Despite getting featured in multiple publications, the child-like curiosity to see your name again and again retained its flavour. Writing became a habit as a result, and the desire to be published generated the desire to write. Sustaining the urge to write was immense and, once it became a regular habit, everything else ceased to matter. You were confident of facing the blank page despite flak and rejections. Even if you wrote five pieces in a month and four of them were spiked, you had the satisfaction of seeing one in print. This was good enough to keep the pen flowing. You became more risk-bearing and tried out other avenues and other forms of writing at the same time. As the digital world opened up more options, you began exploring the writing opportunities on a global scale.

Years of honing your craft offered a better understanding of the writing world and the real world. When a young person read your piece against dowry and went to the newspaper office to collect your address and visit your residence and offer you a proposal to marry his sister, it was a moment of realisation how writing shapes perspectives and the immense responsibility it carries. It was an episode to remind you that good writing is read and the writer must pen his words with social responsibility. Such early encounters made you understand the value of writing beyond the power of bylines.

The writer must be prepared to reach a mature stage when the byline fever subsides. Whether you acquired a thousand bylines becomes immaterial after a certain stage, but the role of byline in offering you anchorage and encouragement cannot be sidelined in the formative years of your writing career.

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Click here to access Monalisa No Longer Smiles on Kindle Amazon International

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

When a friend of mine glorified living in the hills and suggested I should live close to nature in order to nurture my creative side, I disagreed without showing displeasure as it would have appealed to me a decade ago. Instead of shifting to the mountains to forge a deep connection with nature, now I prefer to increase my interactions with nature and its elements in the nearby surroundings every day. Even if these exchanges are small and trivial, these are spread throughthe day and keep happening with amazing frequency.

Finding ample time to feel the presence of nature all around leaves me with negligible desire to relocate to the hillside where I would have the privilege to spread myself on a roadside bench and gaze and wave at newly married couples clasping their hands and walking down the road with melting ice-cream cones. I do not wish to turn into another such old man with a toothless grin, who never shies away from showing his naughty side whenever an opportunity arises.

Not considering such indulgences as effective remedies to stay young at heart during old age, the all-pervasive burst of energy actually comes from the bout of inspiration to produce a new creative work. The hills or the muse are just two known – and popular – sources while the fact is that there are infinite sources to explore. It depends on the individual embarking on this journey to awaken the creative self.

Hills are romanticised and considered to be the abode of purity with the power to trigger creativity like no other place. My recent visits to the hills did not prod me to write. While such a visit could be inspiring for many people who prefer the serenity of the hills to produce a masterpiece, I would consider myself an exception or a part of the small group holding a divergent opinion. Those who say you do not face writer’s block on the hillside are not telling the entire truth. Without contesting their belief, I am quick to retort by saying that I do not stare at the blank page and do not face any shortage of ideas here. I am happy to live in the plains and remain a plain writer without any complaints.

Those who live in the hills and write profusely get to write about nature and the people they observe closely during their long walks.  The hill towns also have a vast population of ghosts to write about since they prefer to live and breathe clean, fresh air and enjoy the mist and fog of the mountains. This category of dead folks brings so many stories to life. With deadpan humour, the writers relate engaging stories but if there is an abundance of paranormal tales from writers in the hills, it does not mean that the writers from the small towns across the country do not have spooky encounters to narrate. There is no dearth of ghosts to explore in the haunted, dilapidated buildings, cemeteries and treetops. If the emerging and established writers take a keen interest to spin bewitching tales, there can be a potpourri of ghostly delights to feast upon. Instead of trekking to the hills in search of lively characters where the human population is not dense, it is better to seek variety in the plains where the population is teeming with saints and sinners of varying degrees, climbing the heights of divine glory and plumbing the lows of depravity.

Abandon the idea of finding a goldmine of ideas in the hills and choose to focus on the world you live in. Relocating to get inspired involves disconnecting in the greed of enrichment. The ability to source the hidden treasures from the town or the locality comes to those who respect it unconditionally, just as we value the love we get unconditionally. There are many who leave for the hills to become fantastic storytellers, but their output fails to impress and loses consistency. Only when they come down and hit the mean streets, travel in crowded buses and trains, enter flea markets and dingy, narrow lanes do they become an integral part of the creative madness and their output shows that solitude is not the sole stimulant: a chaotic environment can also work its magic to stir creativity in wandering souls.

In case you have garnered a modicum of success and wish to experiment, you can try the hills or the beaches to measure the impact on your creative output. But in case you realise you can write well without changing your pin code, and all you need is a house with big windows providing a wide view of the verdant garden lined with trees and plants, offering a clear vision of quietness, then you can deliver a good creative work by sourcing material from the life lived, from the things you can imagine.

Taking a short break to tour the hills has left me disappointed once again. A depressed state of mind and boredom gripped me more than the lush green vistas. I missed the traffic, the mad rush for trains, and the tearing hurry to cross bridges, the restlessness to leave others behind. The sense of satisfaction found in the hill people seemed to infect me. With limited sources of entertainment, preferring to hit the sleep mode was the best thing to do. The idyllic scenery relaxed me for a few days and then the craving for frenzy took over. Depriving myself of it further would make me sick. So, I returned earlier than I had planned to, with the realisation that writing in the hills would be a challenging job for me. It could force me to quit writing forever. I could well be one of those seasonal types who retreat there to recharge their batteries and come back super charged to face the daily hectic grind of the real world.

How long would an ambulance take to reach me during a medical emergency in the hills also loomed large as a growing concern. Negotiating a sharp bend and thinking about such situations made me feel low. As I grow older, I refuse to be enchanted by apples and apple-picking. The childhood fancy of farm-picking sessions, of plucking litchis, berries, and cherries and apples and eating them in the orchards can be skipped or realised within a week. This charming activity cannot make a strong case to become a resident of the hills. Besides, the local market in the neighbourhood has good supplies throughout the year.

Dozens of markets, malls, bargain stores, eating joints, beauty parlours, and multiplexes are likely to be missed in the hills where consumerism is still not rampant. Aside from natural produce, other staple items are more expensive in the hills. Maintaining budgets would be an uphill task for an aspiring writer. Farmer markets would tempt me exploit those, but I do not want to join the list of discredited experts who exploit and then write about exploitation, thereby showcasing their hypocrisy to the world. Locating an advertising agency in a hill station would be another challenge as the clients think creative honchos from the ad world and film world live in the big cities. Agreed, having a second home in the hills for vacation purpose or weekend breaks is a good option. But writers cannot have this luxury unless they churn out bestsellers to finance a second home.

You could be a writer who is read not just in the hills but also read by those from the plains and beyond. Make your location immaterial for writing.  Junk the idea that a masterpiece with a universal appeal can come from a serene place alone. Writing thrives with speed, pace, and action. And the plains are remarkably good at offering this advantage, not just the slow-moving life and stillness in the hills that makes the mind race faster when the body is in a state of relaxation.

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Click here to access Monalisa No Longer Smiles on Kindle Amazon International

By Devraj Singh Kalsi

The school library was the place we were herded to once every week. Although a few of us were booklovers, the brief period of relief and relaxation inside the large, airy, and sunlit room stacked with books, bookshelves, and desks made us fake an immersive experience of reading bliss. 

Contrary to the orders of Lobo Sir, our librarian who always emitted strange noises to remind us to maintain pin-drop silence, we occupied the window seats to gaze at the panoramic world outside and discuss what appeared in sight. It was more engaging, refreshing, and rewarding as an activity. I was not one of those smart, gifted fellows who focused on the brittle pages of the heavily borrowed titles to impress teachers.

Observing the lush green trees and the slow movement of traffic on the macadamised road outside the campus became the new pastime — punctuated with furtive, irksome glances at the middle-aged librarian who saw potential book thieves lurking within us. His long hands groping our pants and bellies during the mandatory exit check to locate books hiding inside never quite managed to reach the exact spot where books were hiding within some of us: inside our fecund, curious minds.

Most of the students were not fond of reading or stealing books when there were far more precious items like hearts waiting to get stolen outside the campus during those teenage years. Impressing the girls from the nearby convent with our natural gift of storytelling evinced an encouraging response and for us, it was a firm confirmation that holding a book in hand was less likely to catch their interest.

Keeping the library card was an obligation so we had to borrow at least one book in a month, get it stamped, and then return it within a week without further tears to avoid a hefty fine. It was wise to show the librarian the pages already torn, dog-eared, smeared with ink, or doodled with arrows piercing the hearts as his memory never failed to identify new signs of damage to the books and he would insist on replacement or recovery of its full monetary value at the given time.

Considering the perils of borrowing books from the library that made us careful about spilling tea or coffee or  noodle (stuck between the pages) or tomato sauce dots ruining the cover, I decided that I should buy the book and then read it without any fear, even if it involved buying from a second-hand bookshop. With a strong sense of possession and freedom to toss and turn around, I felt free to place a tall glass of cold coffee on it and read it the way I liked. The sense of reading with a free mind had no substitute. Borrowing titles from the library did not inculcate this sense of freedom.

The possibility of forgetting a storybook inside the bus or train was high. Even tears would not convince the librarian to waive the costs if we lost it in transit even though its condition was nothing close to mint. Some of us took the library titles home, kept them in the safest custody of parents and then carried the titles back to school without reading a single page. Of what use was such trouble we could not fathom but negative thoughts resonated more, keeping us mired in anxiety.

Only the toppers borrowed classics to read and discuss with teachers what they grasped. The teachers agreed with their insights and analysis in a bid to sound encouraging even if what the high achievers said made little sense. It was a source of collective victory that some students showed the potential to read classics and match the wavelength of teachers whereas we could not go beyond the popular, readable titles.

The desire to read for fun and pleasure was stronger than the urge to read for knowledge during our school days. ‘Read more’ was the repetitive message from teachers even before it caught our attention as the tagline of a global publisher. Every teacher suggested serious reading to build our command over the language though we had no estimate of its utility except for those aiming for academics. Reaching college gave us a comforting truth — acquired from visiting bookstores in the neighbourhood: it is possible to become a writer without the ballistic power of vocabulary. Several successful authors wrote simple yet powerful prose even if their works were not considered fit for inclusion in school libraries.  

Library trips made a comeback in my life at the university level due to my interest in spending more time in pursuit of a girlfriend who was fond of taking notes from various texts inside the library. While acquiring knowledge was not my goal, I chose to sit with a title and observed her fondness for the written word as she wanted her answers to be unique and well-researched.  The slow, whirring fan turned the pages of the slim title for me, and I ended up turning twenty pages without having read a single sentence in an hour. My dedication and punctuality to visit the library around the time she reached was noticed by many others including the librarian though he never saw us talk or disturb others.  Some weeks later, she said that it was futile for me to spend time in the library. But I contradicted her by saying it was always worthwhile to stay in the company of scholars. The peaceful environment inside the library – found nowhere else in the campus – allowed me to learn to focus on one thing even though it was not reading. She understood what I was referring to and her silence encouraged me to pursue this habit with greater concentration.

Everyday, I climbed the stairs to stare at this beautiful girl inside the library. I even suggested coffee inside the canteen. She declined but surprised me by suggesting a sip outside the campus. We came out of the library and allowed others to notice us together. The campus would be rife with speculation and to keep the world guessing was the first vital step to relish the taste of celebrity culture.

Within a few weeks, she distanced herself from me. I suspected someone must have poisoned her mind. I thought she had changed her timings to avoid me. I kept track of the library hours and noticed her regular absence. One afternoon, driven by the mad desire to check on her, I entered the library with a book purchased from a pavement stall. I scanned the room, but she was not there. The librarian came running as he saw me leaving the hall with a book in hand. Perhaps he thought I was a book thief – like Lobo Sir did in our school. He grabbed the book from my hand only to feel ashamed.

It was a romantic title with a suggestive cover that he took his bifocal eyes away from, assured that such books were not stored inside any library. Recovering from the embarrassment, he admonished me for bringing such dirty books inside the campus. He further disappointed me by saying the girl I came with had surrendered her library card without offering any reason, and I pretended as if it was not the information I was looking for, certainly not from him.  My library trips came to an end with this bitter adventure, and I have not entered any library for more than a decade now.

The need to visit libraries has almost disappeared with the emergence of cafe cum bookstores where you can sit and read like you did inside the library, with a wide view of the world outside, but without the pesky librarian keeping track of the moves and ulterior motives. The book thieves are also taken care of by beeping machines installed at the exit point, thanks to advanced technology, and the innocent browsers do not have to suffer the indignity of groping hands of a security guard.

Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.  

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Click here to access Monalisa No Longer Smiles on Kindle Amazon International