By Mario Fenech
Phan pounded the dough, the recent argument with his wife Diu fresh in his mind. The customers in the bakery could hear them trading insults today just like many other days. It was not always like this. When the children were small, he was a happier more outgoing person. The gradual change began when the eldest son was eight. They were getting ready to return home from a beach holiday when they swiped against another car. Luckily, no one was seriously hurt but the incident had marred what had been an otherwise perfect holiday.
This was not the only factor in his withdrawal from emotional engagement. Instead of having pride for the academic achievements of his three children, to him it seemed to be another wedge making them seem superior and seemingly condescending when they spoke to him.
When Anthony was twelve, he said, “Dad, did you know there are an infinite number of possible realities determined by what happens at a sub-atomic level. There’s a famous example called Schrodinger’s Cat which is in a box and is simultaneously dead and alive until someone looks in the box and sees which state it is in.”
Phan shook his head and suggested Anthony should not waste his time on such impractical matters if he wanted to get a job. From time to time the children would ask him for help with school projects but he always had an excuse. He would also say to Diu that he needed to work on a car they kept at another property, when in fact he was going to play at the poker machines.
Diu Sat at the dining room table going through photos of when the children were little, before the change came over Phan. Linh came home from work and saw her mother reminiscing.
“Hi Mum,” Linh gave Diu a hug and a kiss, “Mum I think it’s time for you to seriously consider leaving Dad.” Diu was silent continuing to look at the photos.
“Your father is in many ways like a child which makes it harder to separate as I feel an obligation to take care of him as much as I do for you and your brothers.”
Linh shook her head. “You don’t have an obligation to anyone Mum. You should be able to enjoy your life. You’re not doing any favours for Dad either as he won’t be able to move on if you keep protecting him Mum.”
Diu placed the palm of her hand gently on Linh’s cheek saying, “He did something some time ago. He came up to me, and he wanted so much to say something, but he couldn’t find the words… Maybe he was trying to say sorry.”
Linh could see that for now at least she could not persuade her mother to leave her father.
“I’ll make us some tea mum.”
Early next morning Diu drove the van loaded with supplies for the bakery. Traffic was minimal so she had a clear run with most of the lights green. Then as she maintained the speed limit while passing through another intersection, there was a terrifying sound of a truck braking. The truck driver who was trying to beat the light saw Diu’s van enter the intersection as she had a green light. The truck driver braked hard, but the momentum of the heavy vehicle was enough to crush the driver’s side of the van. In the eternity of those final seconds Diu recalled one of the perfect days when she was a young girl after her holy communion. Such a beautiful sun-drenched day…
Phan arranged the bread on the racks. The reality he found himself in was almost unbearable, so he busied himself in the bakery. The only person who understood him was gone now and his plan to change came too late. Phan turned at the sound of footsteps to see his two sons and daughter approaching him.
Phan cast his eyes down at the concrete floor. With their mother no longer here, there was no reason for them to hold back on their anger and hatred. The anticipated violence toward him, physical or verbal, did not happen. His children embraced him. This simple gesture had a profound effect on Phan as years of pent-up emotions surfaced borne of a confusing mix of guilt, anger at himself, and relief at the chance for redemption. From deep inside him a groan came as he sunk to his knees supported by his children. His tears streaming onto the concrete floor.
In the front right-hand corner of the café, was a stand with a framed photo of Diu surrounded by fresh flowers. Behind the counter, there were also small shrines for the Madonna and Jesus with artificial flowers which Diu had arranged when the shop first opened. Phan made sure they were dusted and cared for just as when Diu was alive. Diu loved people and did all she could to support causes in the community and Phan vowed to continue to give back to the locals who had kept them in business. There were three customers in the cafe, two to get their bread but the slightly stooped grey-haired lady with the trolley was there for her daily coffee and cake. She joined Phan near the photo of Diu and she held his hand. “You know I used to ask your wife,’ where is your husband ‘ and she would always say, ‘he’s a very busy man’,” she paused. “Don’t worry, she’ll always be with you.” The lady patted Phan on the chest. Phan felt the emotions rising again as he saw the sincerity in the lady’s eyes
“Please take a seat I will get your coffee and cake.”
Phan considering employing another person to help in the cafe. When it was nearly closing time, he noticed a small creature in an ice cream container. It was the frightened skink he picked up from the floor in case someone stepped on it hours ago. He apologized to the lizard and took it to the garden at the back of the shop. Phan tilted the container and the lizard remained motionless momentarily before disappearing into the foliage. Phan smiled and said, “Chúng ta có cơ hội thứ hai.” [1]He looked up through eucalyptus leaves at the moon glowing behind clouds. It was time to close the shop and take a break before baking for tomorrow.
[1] Translation from Vietnamese: “We have a second chance.”
Mario Fenech is an artists and writer from Gzira, Malta. His sculpts and has had many exhibitions around Melbourne over the years. His has written ,ainly science fiction stories although he self-published a novella in 2013 titled, The Rock in Room Ten. He is currently two-thirds into his latest science fiction story.
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