By Devraj Singh Kalsi
Getting the opportunity to interact with witches in real life is a bigger privilege than meeting celebrities from the world of fashion and entertainment. The paranormal world remains full of mysteries to unravel and the element of human interest in spooky affairs never dips.
I must say I have known and heard a lot about their cauldron – pot, potions, and potency – ever since the school days when I read Shakespearean plays. From Macbeth came the supreme knowledge that fair is foul, and foul is fair as they hover through the fog and filthy air. While there remains the possibility of classifying them as good or evil, my template was I would prefer not to label them without having a first-hand encounter.
Their culinary delights are unsavoury for most of us as the menu list, as mentioned in Macbeth, includes blood, carcass and animal parts considered unfit for human consumption in the civilised society. While these items are possibly sources of good nutrition for them, we feel like puking whenever there is a mention of these being cooked.
Frankly speaking, I did not have a whit of an idea that witches would make such a swift entry and grand entry into my life that would leave me rattled and throw me into a dizzy state of disarray. Like a gentle knock on the door announces the likelihood of a visitor, they should have first tried the sleep, dream route instead of barging into the dilapidated house to lay siege and hold me hostage.
I confess not being a casual or avid reader of eerie, ghostly tales. I do not have the voracious appetite to watch horror flicks even if they are the sophisticated types without blood dripping through the corner of the mouth like saliva or through the eyes like tears. So, this rules out of the possibility of my sending across any signal or invitation to visit my abode.
That the evil forces were living with me was brought to my notice by a tarot-reading relative during her visit this winter. Probably, they had tagged along with her, but she specified that the spirit was a single, permanent resident living in my home for several years. It was surprising that I had never had any alarming encounter in the past during the phase of co-existence. I asked her particular questions about eviction but she refused to answer them except clarifying that the spirit was living in the rear portion of the house. Since I do not often venture to that side, probably I missed bumping into the evil power that had turned benevolent inside the house, influenced by my benevolent company that must have reformed her even if she had arrived with malicious intent.
My probing mind concluded that the spooky, invisible witch’s visit must be an act of mischief by the relative who lived in a matchbox-size apartment while I have an old, dilapidated but sprawling house with branches sprouting from parapets. To draw my attention to the possibility of the residence being a haunted one, she appeared to have concocted a weird potpourri to seek retribution of sorts. That she enjoyed the stay and only at the time of departure chose to reveal the big secret made me suspect that it was something to be taken with a pinch of salt. The presence of evil spirits was confirmed by the senior lady guest who also added a twist by saying this could be the handiwork of an envious neighbour who performed some black magic and despatched a witch to my place to cause harm. Almost immediately I was ready with a roster of queries that seemed to put her in a fix. The wide-open spaces were dubbed as haunted, but no clue was provided so I suspected she wanted to scare me and make me join her by living in a flat next to her complex and this was an effective strategy to attain that goal.
Since this information had been registered in my brain, the fear of a sudden encounter with the spirit of the witch inside the house has unnerved me and compelled me to sleep with lights on. The slightest sound woke me up with a jolt. I had no idea how the witch sneaked in, through which open or closed door or window or ventilator. I had no idea how the witch found me a suitable resident without focusing on my bad habits. Assuming for a moment that there was indeed a vampire shaking my empire, with a special fixation for sucking blood, I decided to buy a one litre of lamb’s blood from the nearby butcher’s shop and keep it in a bowl in a desolate corner where the witch could quench her thirst without any disturbance. I decided to wear proper clothes at home all the time so that my attire never appeared offensive or inviting to the resident witch for a seductive encounter. I had no idea about her age but I visualised her to be an eternal, graceful beauty with an effervescent smile.
Coming back to facts, the bowl of blood remained in place even after a week. It meant that the witch preferred other drinks. When I checked my refrigerator, I found juice cans missing and a rose sherbet bottle almost empty. This confirmed there was indeed a witch who enjoyed the stuff in the fridge and never complained or agitated because the diet was healthy and nutritious even though completely vegetarian, non-alcoholic, and milk-based.
Still not fully convinced that my haemoglobin was not gobbled up by a goblin during my sleep hours using a straw pipe penetrated through the nostrils or ears, I decided to undergo a blood test to confirm the level had not plummeted to an anemic level. To remain on the safer side, I asked the doctor to pump more blood in my body through transfusion and clear my confusion. He had a hearty laugh when he heard the reason. I invited him to my place to have an experience of sorts, which he declined with a grin. His scientific temperament did not revolt, and he did not prescribe anything for my safety but suggested I use this material to write more fanciful stories.
Perhaps he spread this news to other retired folks in the locality, who visited his clinic for regular check-ups. They landed up at my entrance gate with curiosity and suggested a fresh coat of lime wash on the building to ward off evil spirits as it looked haunted to them. The logic that freshly painted homes do not attract witches was anything but convincing.
In terms of palpable changes, my urge to write was at an all-time high as I felt I could finish off a novel within a fortnight. My writing picked up pace and clarity and I began to think the witch was probably a literary heavyweight trying to express her ideas through my pen. This comforting thought buoyed me and I felt assured that it was sending cosmic powers to support my fledgling writing career. Perhaps the witch had a failed literary past and did not want another aspirant to hit the nadir.
The witch had improved my craft as my writing began to be livelier. I wanted to entertain more through incredible stories. I must share the credit for this transformation with the appealing witch working secretly in my favour and acknowledge the contribution in the foreword of my next novel.
Waking up in the middle of the night after hearing weird noises sent a shiver down the spine – as if the spirit was dining in the hall, with the sound of cutlery and mastication. When the pastry or ice-cream tub went missing from the fridge, I did not remember if I had polished it off but suspected the witch had a sweet tooth. Despite all negativity evil powers bring in wherever they go, this one ushered in a splash of positive vibes. During the prayer session, I could hear some other person mumbling. The act of worship liberates and cleanses spirits as well and brings more goodness to their invisible lives. I do not worry much now as I find the witch to have a cordial rapport with me – more generous than what wily relatives have with me.
Several months had passed and the earlier fear has subsided a lot, replaced by a strange friendly feeling towards the witch even though I have not seen her. I look around for signs of any spooky activity to add spice to life, but I find none. Empty beer cans lying scattered in the backyard do not belong to the witch but the bachelors living in the next apartment, who throw these including cigarette and contraceptive packs in my compound.
To bring this matter to a close and ensure my sanity, I was advised to consult a magician with rich occult experience. Driven by the urge to see how he managed to unfold the truth and the strategy he chalked out to exterminate the spirit from my premises, I opted for a budget-friendly professional wearing black robes.
He came and sniffed and some stray dogs standing on the boundary wall started barking loudly. He silenced them all with a finger on the lips like a school headmaster. The obedient dogs surprised me with their submissive behaviour though he was a stranger in the locality. He explained that dogs and cats have innate powers to feel the presence of spirits around if a magician can generate those in canine creatures though I had only read about sniffer dogs trained to track gangsters and detect hidden explosives.
He picked up some ash mixed with talcum powder from the staircase and suggested the spirit was living there. He walked ahead of me while I followed him with a torch and stick. When he reached the landing area and the loft beside it, he stopped in his tracks as he said there was a struggle and heckling going on which I could not witness with my naked eyes. He was being stopped to climb further so he opened his tool box and read out some mumbo jumbo and gave a stern warning in English that surprised me. He explained to me the witch was not of Indian origin but someone from abroad who came in search of her sailor lover from the Orient, travelling thousands of miles and finally found the right address.
I said I was no sailor. But the professional occultist said the previous owner of the house from whom I had purchased this old, haunted house at a cheap price was her lover. Since his family died here, the witch from Scotland also chose to follow the Indian tradition of true love and united with her lover here. He said she was communicating with him in the house and their love affair was still ongoing.
So where did I fit in here? And what was I supposed to do? Was there any risk of her falling in love with me? These questions rushed to my mind, but instead of answering me, he asked her when she would leave this house and she grumbled and replied she would never leave this place. I told the magician to remind her that true love is never fulfilled, never fully reciprocated but the witch was in no mood to listen to his command. I said the backlog of love stories, failed and unrequited, was heavy in India and there was no hope of quick clearance for some more centuries at least.
The occult practitioner said the witch would definitely leave the house if I was ready to pay extra for some special rituals. When he quoted the premium price, I felt the pinch in the pocket. As the witch had not caused any harm to me, I gave in to her continuing in the house and I retrieved a framed photograph of her sailor lover from the storeroom and placed it on the staircase wall for emotional comfort. The occult expert tried to scare me by saying she might change her mind or accidentally bite you out of love, and the oozing blood from my arterial nerve in the neck could suspend blood supply to my brain and cause sudden death. I said I was confident she would not prove to be a treacherous lover, unlike the ones today and remain loyal to the dead sailor lover smiling in the portrait.
Sometimes, books in the library could be found open those days. Most of them were British classics. I was proud of an avid reader of classic literature residing in the house of another writer who was yet to finish reading those books. Her literary thirst was quenched in the house full of books and that is why there was no sucking up of blood. Maybe, she was a writer herself and she wrote novels, poems, and stories. So I asked the magician to disclose her name during the session. I was ready to continue the live-in relationship with a bewitching witch even though I had not seen her. I asked the magician to give me an idea of how she looked and he said she was nothing less than a film heroine in terms of complexion and looks.
Now, I am living in a different city and the haunted house remains locked. I strongly believe the witch still remains there. But while I am crafting this tale, I hear a flush in the pan and the digestive biscuits have gone missing from the glass jar along with the bottle of mixed pickle, making me suspect the witch has joined me here or my hyperactive brain is conjuring up images to feed a nutritious diet to my imagination. Or perhaps, I want to derive consolation by thinking that I have finally succeeded in driving a wedge between those lovers and made her fall madly in love with me now!
Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.
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