By Sutputra Radheye
It was Saraswati Puja that day when he went to my parents and asked, without any hesitation, if he could marry their daughter. Me. We had been dating for four years at that point of time. It was unusual for the India of our times in the 80s. We didn’t have gadgets like there are today. When he was studying in IIT(Indian Institute of Technology) Bombay, and I was in Kolkata, we used to write letters. Sometimes, they would arrive in a week or two, but sometimes, they took about a month. It was tough not seeing each other for years. But, finally it was happening. He didn’t leave me for someone better. He kept his promise.
We got married in October and were soon blessed with a daughter. She replaced me in his heart. She was now the person who used to live in most parts of his heart. I used to joke to him saying he has rented my house to our daughter. He was everything good that happened to me.
Decades later as I write this, my hands are trembling. I don’t know why but I am scared. Something is not right. Something terrible is on the way. I shouldn’t think that way but I am not able to stop myself from going into these routes. Today is Saraswati Puja and he is lying pale in the surgery. Our friend, Dr Ghosh, is inside with him. The operation is going on.
An hour and a half later, the doctor walked out of the surgery. His eyes were moist. I knew what I feared had happened. But, I won’t cry. He won’t like me teared up.
I am stronger than he thinks I am.
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Sutputra Radheye is a young poet/writer from India. He has published two poetry collections — Worshipping Bodies(Notion Press) and Inqalaab on the Walls (Delhi Poetry Slam). His works are reflective of the society he lives in and tries to capture the marginalised side of the story.
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