By Devraj Singh Kalsi
It is a matter of joy that my existence in this world has been largely successful in proving my birth chart predictions wrong. This has now fossilized into my belief even though my mother held a different viewpoint. Ever since I got to read the prized booklet in my teenage years, I was disturbed about my life as an adult and my life span. I was classified as an early achiever of success scheduled to play a long innings. So, I planned to delay almost everything and become a late bloomer instead. Success earned late lasts longer was the guiding thought. Imagine a young fellow who was destined to get his hands on everything considered worth acquiring. Contrast these projections with his determination to put everything on hold, to express solidarity with millions of others who have to struggle very hard and for too long to finally become an achiever. Being stubborn to refuse what fate has ordained sounds crazy and suicidal but that was the rebellious streak that glowed like a firefly in my head during those days.
Wherever I found I was supposed to clock a win or hovered close to winning, I chose to withdraw, step back, or slow down to help another person in greater need of it. Such noble sacrifices were not included in my horoscope, but I gave no scope to destiny to remote control my life. After all, it did not include any career option of my choice and so the glowing tales of a ‘successful’ life meant little. While my mother was glad that the birth chart made it sound all good for me, a roller-coaster ride worth envying, she was upset that I was in a challenging mode, holding my will superior to what the astrologers had outlined in those few hand-written pages. I had some vital questions to raise and clarify doubts. When I expressed the desire to meet the astrologer who drafted my future at the time of my birth, she said he had departed from earth, leaving no scope for me to chase him for an explanation or seek a partial rewrite. There was no way I could convince myself that I was supposed to spend my entire life as per his forecast even though he foretold an abundance of material possessions and windfall gains.
Considering the prediction that I was going to be settled abroad around the age of thirty, I chose not to seek my fortune outside the country, believing that only the meritorious students deserve to go abroad for higher studies or only the highly educated get employed there. Nothing could materialise without the passport, so I delayed acquiring it in my early twenties. My singular focus was to ensure that I was academically unfit for the international job market. Although the extended family gave importance to settling abroad, and many relatives of my generation were upskilling themselves and secretly planning for the big break in the foreign lands, my lack of ambition stoked serious concerns as they concluded it quite abnormal that a young fellow does not dream of flying across continents. When they offered real life examples of how some of our relatives had a better, more ‘secure’ life and they were doing exceptionally well in Canada and Australia, I showed no interest in their immigration tales and chose to furnish a divergent viewpoint of domestic success being a greater challenge in an overpopulated job market.
The holidaying arriviste from New York – an architect of a brilliant career in the field of computers – was eager to know what I was pursuing as we were the branches of the same family tree. When I disclosed that I was into media studies, he was visibly relieved that I would not be seeking any favours like sponsorship, internship, scholarship, or referrals. He was expecting me to praise his global success but my lack of curiosity in his professional breakthroughs made him furious within. His arched eyebrows suggested an element of shock when I mentioned I had zero interest in shifting to a foreign country in search of greener pastures. He read it as my lack of self-confidence to compete globally. He suggested I should mingle with those friends who have a strong urge to move abroad and develop a similar expansive mindset instead of remaining a frog in the well, with those outdated ideas of roots keeping me stuck and decaying my potential. His words failed to stir me or change my outlook, and I maintained that staying local but thinking global was sufficient for me. There have been big achievers who never boarded a ship or a plane, yet they were recognised by the world over for their contributions.
Many friends were exploring opportunities abroad although they kept it as a closely guarded secret to reduce competition. My steadfast refusal to ape them was as source of disappointment, generating fears that the horoscope must have missed out some crucial details or the exact time of birth was recorded incorrectly – a difference of a minute or two possibly changed the entire calculation grid. That I had managed to raise questions on the accuracy of the birth chart was a big achievement, but my mother started scanning the newspaper classifieds for another experienced astrologer who could accurately read my palm and forehead and find out what the future had in store for me. I was sure that the excessive crisscrossing of lines and their lengths and breaks would confuse any seasoned palmist, making him lose patience to further read between the lines.
When I told my close friends that writing could be practiced from any part of the world, they argued that the opportunities to succeed in writing were non-existent within the country. The Western world offered a better life to mediocre writers as well. When my mother understood that creative pursuits were a priority for me, she tried to find some linkage with the birth chart once again. She did succeed in establishing a connection with writing and the business of iron. After all, books and newspapers began their printing journey with the use of metal in the early stages.
As the years passed by, she was convinced that her son would not move out of the city, forget leaving the country. Applying for a passport when it was well past the ‘right’ time to migrate was explained as a necessary step to ensure a holiday abroad though the vacation never materialised. Aside from some minor errors in calculations, she was unwilling to concede that the horoscope was fundamentally misleading. Just then a work-related opportunity in a neighbouring country arrived my way. When I refused to accept it, she was relieved that though late, the horoscope was right to suggest the professional breakthrough abroad and it was my decision to let it go. No more arguments on the accuracy of the birth chart as she felt quite victorious after a long phase of wait. An international opportunity gone waste gave a high of a different kind. My satisfaction that I was not crossing the border disappointed my mother, but I was happy to stay in my homeland.
That I was supposed to be a businessman according to the birth chart was another prediction that haunted me like a nightmare. I was keen to prove it incorrect. Those were the days when the self-employed or freelance professional tag was not in circulation so there were just two categories for astrologers to focus on. The iron business forecast consumed my energy as I feared I would end up being a scrap dealer instead of a global metal magnet. My confidence remained perpetually low, and the fundamental lack of ambition drove me insane. An overdose of humility and modesty stifled my voice to rise and shine.
When I told her about words being the complete world for me, she was happy the prediction was right. Words and books need paper and printing press, so my business of writing had the iron component in it. As per her assessment, the astrologer won despite my best attempts to prove him wrong. She gave a creative spin to those predictions and find some solid connection with my choices. Being published abroad meant it was going international and writing had metal and mettle associated with it. While I stayed happy with the conclusion that the astrologer was wrong, she stayed happy that the astrologer had predicted everything correct and things were unfolding in accordance with what the birth chart foretold.
Talking about life span, it is better to stay silent. I should not pose a challenge just to prove the astrologer wrong. Though I hated the long life he predicted for me as I wondered what I was supposed to do for so many decades, with each passing year now, I feel there is so much to achieve and the prediction gives solace that there is still enough time to fulfil my pending dreams as the journey began late due to my stubborn approach. Whenever I am doubtful about my future on this earth, I fish out the horoscope and read the short paragraph highlighting my long-life span and heave a sigh of relief.
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Devraj Singh Kalsi works as a senior copywriter in Kolkata. His short stories and essays have been published in Deccan Herald, Tehelka, Kitaab, Earthen Lamp Journal, Assam Tribune, and The Statesman. Pal Motors is his first novel.
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