The Not-So-Glum Panjandrum

Nonsense verses by Rhys Hughes

Courtesy: Creative Commons
The Not-So-Glum Panjandrum
likes to play the drums
on every day of the month of May
and in the night-time too.
If you happen to be his guest
when his fingers are twitching
and his drums are itching
to be played, you will surely find
it most bewitching
while he sits in the kitchen
to listen to his rhythms. They go:
        tikky tak tok, boom blam bash,
        takky tok tik, blam boom bong!

And often when the owls hoot
in the garden where the suits
are flapping on the washing line,
he adds a cymbal to his kit,
hits it with a thimble on the end of a stick,
keeps the rhythm steady.
It must be a symbol
of something profound,
and the total result, at least I have found,
sounds somewhat, if not a lot,
like this… Are you ready?
        tikky tak tok, boom blam ting,
        takky tok tik, ping ding bling!

He often smiles while drumming
and his eyes are running
with tears of joy. His drums are toys
that must be played with
in order to make a compelling noise
and if you aren’t careful
he’ll expect you to sing along
in the music room
while his fingers rapidly tap
a pulsating jazzy racket
after he removes his jacket:
        boom shack, a whack and clack,
        ching bing bong, shack a boom!

Sing along? you cry in alarm
for you know that your voice
can do great harm
to innocent bystanders
but the Not-So-Glum Panjandrum
refuses to accept excuses.
And so, abandoned by the Muses,
you open your mouth
while he beats out his rhythm,
like a mathematical lumberjack
chopping up logarithms,
and this is what you croon:
       yowdle curdle, furdle durdle,
       screechy vichy, bongo blighty,
       bangy wangy, shrieky speaky,
       warble burble, yubble wubble! 

And now the month of May is over
and silence reigns
yet again.

Rhys Hughes has lived in many countries. He graduated as an engineer but currently works as a tutor of mathematics. Since his first book was published in 1995 he has had fifty other books published and his work has been translated into ten languages.



Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s