Translated from Bengali by Somdatta Mandal, this satirical skit[1]was part of Hasyakoutuk (1914) or Humour by Tagore
Scene One
A village road
Chaturbhuj Babu has come to his village after passing his M.A. exams. He had expected the entire village to be exuberant. He has a stout Kabul cat with him.
Enter Nilratan
Nilratan: So here is Chatubabu. When did you come?
Chaturbhuj: After appearing for my M.A. examination in college –
Nilratan: Oh! This cat is very exquisite.
Chaturbhuj: The examination this time was –
Nilratan: Sir, where did you get this cat?
Chaturbhuj: Bought it. The subject I had elected this year –
Nilratan: How much did you pay for it, sir?
Chaturbhuj: Can’t remember. Nilratanbabu, has anyone graduated from our village?
Nilratan: Plenty. But there is no such cat in the vicinity.
Chaturbhuj: (to himself) Oh God! He only speaks about cats. He does not talk about my success in the exams.
Enter the Zamindar
Zamindar: Oh, here is Chaturbhuj! What did you do all this while in Kolkata, son?
Chaturbhuj: Sir, just came after my M.A. exams.
Zamindar: What did you say? Meye[2]? Given a girl to somebody? To whom have you given?
Chaturbhuj: No, not that. After B.A.—
Zamindar: You have got your daughter married? Her biye[3]? But we did not get to know about it.
Chaturbhuj: Not marriage, but B.A. –
Zamindar: Oh, it’s the same thing. In the city you call it B.A., in our village we call it biye. Ok. Let that be. This cat is very beautiful.
Chaturbhuj: You are mistaken. My –
Zamindar: What mistake? Go and find a similar cat in this whole district.
Chaturbhuj: No, sir. I am not talking about cats –
Zamindar: Yes, we are talking about cats. I am saying that we can’t get such cats.
Chaturbhuj: (to himself) Goodness gracious!
Zamindar: Come with your cat to our locality in the afternoon. The children will be very happy to see it.
Chaturbhuj: Yes, they will surely be happy. They haven’t seen me for a long time.
Zamindar: Yes, that’s true. But I am saying that if you cannot come, then send it through Beni. I want to show it to the children.
[Exit]
Uncle Satu enters
Uncle Satu: Here you are. Seeing you after a long time.
Chaturbhuj: Won’t it take long? So many examinations –
Uncle Satu: This cat –
Chaturbhuj: (annoyed) I am going home.
[About to leave]
Uncle Satu: Here, listen to me. This cat –
Chaturbhuj: No sir, I have work at home.
Uncle Satu: Here, at least answer one question. This cat –
[Chaturbhuj does not reply but walks out hurriedly]
Uncle Satu: Oh God! These children have become very clever after being educated. They have many attributes but too much pride.
[Exit]
Scene Two
The inner domain of Chaturbhuj’s house
Maid: Mistress. Dada has come home very angry.
Mother: Why?
Maid: How do I know?
Enter Chaturbhuj
Small boy: Brother, I want this cat –
Chaturbhuj: (slapping him) Day in and day out only cat, cat, cat!
Mother: Poor son. Is he annoyed for nothing? He has come home after such a long time and the children are pestering him too much. Go! All of you go from here. [To Chaturbhuj] Give it to me, son. I have kept rice and milk for it. I’ll go feed your cat.
Chaturbhuj: (angrily) Take it, mother. All of you only feed the cat. I will not have food. I’m leaving.
Mother: (earnestly) What sort of statement is that? Son, your meal is ready. Just go and take your bath.
Chaturbhuj: I am leaving. In your country only cats are admired. There is no place for geniuses. (He kicks the cat)
Aunt: Oh, don’t beat it. It has done no harm.
Chaturbhuj: All your affection is for the cat. You don’t have any pity for the human being. (Exit)
Small girl: (pointing offstage) Uncle Hari, come and see. Its tail is so thick and bushy.
Hari: Who’s tail?
Girl: There, his.
Hari: Is it Chaturbhuj’s?
Girl: No, the cat’s.
Scene Three
The road. Chaturbhuj with a bag in hand. No cat with him.
Sadhucharan: Sir, where is your cat?
Chaturbhuj: It’s dead.
Sadhucharan: Oh! How did it die?
Chaturbhuj: (Disgusted) I don’t know, sir.
Enter Paranbabu.
Paran: Sir, what happened to your cat?
Chaturbhuj: It is dead.
Paran: Really? How did it die?
Chaturbhuj: Just as you all will die. With a rope around your neck.
Paran: Oh my god, He is too angry.
A group of boys follow Chaturbhuj. Clapping themselves they tease him shouting
“Kabuli Cat,” “Kabuli Cat.”
[1] [Translated from “Abhyarthana” (Bhadra 1292 B.S.) by Somdatta Mandal]
[2] Daughter in Bengali
[3] Wedding in Bengali
Somdatta Mandal is a former Professor of English and ex-Chairperson, Department of English, Visva-Bharati, Santiniketan, India. A recipient of several prestigious fellowships like the Fulbright Research and Teaching Fellowships, British Council Charles Wallace Trust Fellowship, Rockefeller Residency at Bellagio, Italy, Salzburg Seminar and Shastri Indo-Canadian Faculty Enrichment Fellowship, she has been published widely both nationally and internationally. She has also an award from Sahitya Akademi for the All India Indian Literature Golden Jubilee (1957-2007) Literary Translation Competition in the Fiction category for translating short stories series ‘Lalu’ by Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyaya.
.
PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL
Borderless 