A Cover Letter

By Uday Deshwal

It’s been ten months since I quit my last job and have been attempting to gain employment. However, this isn’t my first rodeo. It has been my privilege to go on similar attempting-to-seek-what-I-really-want-to-do  sabbaticals twice before in the last decade. And each time the gradual-at-first-and-then-suddenly-debilitating desperation of needing to earn something to pay bills, cuts short the quests to seek happiness and fulfilment in work.

Whether it is fulfilled or not, whether it is life-changing or not, every quest for applying for a job comes with an unavoidable and annoying task that wears you down so much that all you are left with are bouts of self-doubt and PCLSD (post-cover letter stress disorder).

Before I go any further, I just want to say that it is not my intention to seem naive or ignorant about the hiring process, I understand and appreciate all the work that goes into it and how difficult it can be for recruiters and hiring teams. And, of course, it’s understood that some aspects of a job application are unavoidable and inevitable. But just like we all sometimes lament about other inevitable things like growing old, this is just some good old-fashioned cribbing about cover letters and CVs and such.

So, here are some of my thoughts, that I hope will resonate with others like me out there, about the mentally harrowing thing called ‘job applications’.

CV on File

“Hi, Thank you for applying to the XYZ opening at ABC. We’re grateful to have received many highly competitive applications for this role. After careful consideration, the team has decided not to advance with your candidacy at this time. Of course, we’ll keep your information on file and will reach out if there’s a new role that fits your experience.”

At this point I feel like at least 50% of the world’s data servers are filled only with people’s CVs/resumes/portfolios, given the amount of information all these employers claim to “keep on file”. However, I don’t know of one instance where anyone ever received an email in their inbox saying, “Hi, we had on your resume on file with us for 33 months, and of course you know we remembered the exact skills and experiences you had and so we immediately knew we must access the file and reach out to you with this amazing, fulfilling exact job profile you’ve been looking for. Would that be something of interest to you? If yes, then we need you to join latest by tomorrow. Do let us know. Kind regards, an unicorn of an HR/hiring team.”

If there Is A Hell, I would recommend adding writing Cover Letters as a Form Of Torture

Having to write about how you will be a good fit even as you are 99% sure that you are “not a good fit/not what we are looking for”, can really mess with your head as time passes and rejections pile up.

We all understand the hiring processes and the need for things like cover letters as a means to weed out the non-ideal candidates. But at the same time, it is also a nearly impossible task to constantly present yourself as an ideal, desirable candidate when all your mind tells you is that “you are not good enough … is this even worth it … why am I doing this”. After a few months in this loop, the idea of writing a cover letter, in order to apply for something, becomes so daunting that all you want to do is to curl up and cry. As unnecessarily dramatic it may sound, how am I supposed to write a cover letter that will make me stand out when I can’t even stand to look at myself and the failure I have seemingly become?

Constant rejections cannot possibly result in more earnest and more confident cover letters, period. And it is okay to acknowledge and accept that and stop berating ourselves at least for a day (before some expenditure sends you spiralling once again).

What those rejection emails actually feel like after the 3rd month of continuous rejections

“Hi worthless applicant, thank you for your interest in applying for this role we are going to hire for internally actually. We don’t really care about any highly competitive applications for this role. After three weeks of zero consideration, the automated email reply has decided not to advance with your candidacy at this time.

“While we are not able to give anymore ducks (*1 premium suggestion, see more in grammarly) about it at this point, we discourage you to keep an eye out for any new open roles and just forget about it. And, of course, we’ll keep your information on file and never reach out even if there’s a new role that exactly fits your experience and skills.

“We appreciate the mental breakdown you underwent to consider working with us, and wish you the best of luck as you continue your futile search.”

Don’t forget to give yourself some of those kind regards

It can be very daunting when you are stuck in a rut where you feel like nothing is going to change and you are doomed to keep struggling to even make it past the first round of the job application process. Some days will be worse than others, and you will feel no matter what you do you have no agency over your own career path and choices.

While struggling to navigate through such demoralising thoughts, it is important to keep trying to find moments where you micro-reward yourself with some hope, self-belief, and rationale. For example, even something as stupid as reasoning with your own mind about how it can’t just be you and there are many other reasons (global economic crisis, high unemployment rates, employers’ feudal mindsets, you don’t come from generational wealth, etc.) for your continued struggle to find a fulfilling job. But even a lost battle against your mind makes a little difference because you are at least contending with certain unideal realities.

On a slightly-not-as-worse day, you can use some of that as a catalyst to try and see what else you can do to make a better case for yourself (be it learning a new skill, doing an online course, reading/watching something that is inspiring, or attempting to write a piece like this and instantly regretting submitting it) for your next application. And most importantly, and for as long as possible, don’t lose hope and stay resolute towards your goals and what you want to do, because the only thing worse than rejection is regret… Actually having Rs 832.70 in your bank account in possibly worse.

Okay I must stop now because it has been two days since I last wrote a cover letter and applied for a job, and my PCLSD is kicking in.

Uday Deshwal suffers from an ‘always wanted to be a writer but was diagnosed with impostor syndrome’.

.

PLEASE NOTE: ARTICLES CAN ONLY BE REPRODUCED IN OTHER SITES WITH DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO BORDERLESS JOURNAL

Click here to access the Borderless anthology, Monalisa No Longer Smiles

Click here to access Monalisa No Longer Smiles on Kindle Amazon International