Moros (Moe -ross) Just over a meter in length, the Moros belongs to the same family as Tyrannosaurus Rex. Same short front arms – look like they’d only be good for holding hot dogs. But, no, he had powerful eyesight and was very fast. Could out-run most predators with ease. Had good hearing too – the better to scat for the mat if larger carnivores were nearby. Big teeth and a grin that stretched from ear to ear. Never brushed ‘em though – Could probably gas his victim before sinking any incisors into its little quaking hide. * Pteranodon (TER an-oh-don) Not a bird, but a flying reptile that soared and glided high above the fray. No teeth but a long beak with which it scooped up fish and slow- running smaller reptile prey. Soared over plains and waterways – mostly gliding on the thermals. Swooping down to scoop finny prey. Ate on the fly. Imagine fly-by burger joints, discus pizzas ejected above car height in our time. Would have been a zoo favourite! Big crest, big chest, cutest talons! Imagine zoo pedicures delivered by trained reptoid cuticologists. They could paint his talons red – but that’d be a little ho hum – maybe aquamarine, with sparkles! Let’s call him Terrance Pteranodon. * Micropachycephalosaurus (mi-kro-PAK-ee-SEF-ah-lo-SAWR-us) This late Cretaceous cutie was one of the smallest dinosaurs, but had the longest name! While T-Rex was stumbling over syllables trying to count ‘em on his terrible lizard fingers and figure whether this biped whose name means small thick-headed lizard could even begin to fill his gizzard, this clever micropachycephalosaurus had already processed the thought that there was no point in butting heads, His best move was to scoot! And scoot his did – off into the tuliewumps, where he hid. A herbivore with Olympic sprinter’s legs and good sniffer generally lives to scarf another day. * Tyrannosaurus Rex (Tie-RAN-oh-SAWR-us Rex) Guess there woulda been no point in telling you to chew before you swallowed. You couldn’t chew! Hadda tear off chunks of meat ‘n’ swallow’ em whole! Messy eater! Not that any reptoid Emily Post was around to teach you to brush your teeth. Arms couldn’t reach the front, let alone hard-to-reach spots. Whaddaya just gargle and rinse? Guess no one’s gonna call you on your bad breath either, bro’ – Yer free to roam and stink up the place. Maybe just lower your snout and roar to gas little lizard pop tarts to stop. Terrible lizard with an insatiable gizzard. Best known bully on yer – or any herbivore’s – block, baby! Yer the beast with the baddest rep. Heck, yer a cereal box plastic icon, dude!
Richard Stevenson recently retired from a thirty-year gig teaching English and Creative Writing at Lethbridge College in southern Alberta. He has published widely. Forthcoming titles in his cryptid, ET, and Fortean lore series include a trilogy, Cryptid Shindig, and the standalone volumes, An Abominable Swamp Slob Named Bob, Dark Watchers, and Hairy Hullabaloo. Just out: Eye to Eye with My Octopi (Cyberwit, India, 2022) and Bature! West African Haikai (Mawenzi House, Canada, 2022
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