By Shobha Sriram
Yet another sop story on slimming woes from a fat woman, you might think. But, no, this is about an erstwhile slim woman trying to stay slim.
At the turn of the century, I had just discovered the art of slimming. But my smiles in front of the mirror turned to frowns at the dinner table. While following a strict diet: breakfast of two slices of plain bread, lunch of vegetable salad, and dinner of two chapathis[1], I used to motivate myself with images of me going as slim as those skinny girls, who we’d all admire for their hourglass figures. Finally, after loads of exercising, yoga, and dieting, I slimmed down to a figure my friends called “Chic”. In those six months, I also learned the art of dressing well—an exclusive knowledge only the affluent had back then.
As time went on, I went to work, married, switched jobs, made money, lost money, gained fame, and graced anonymity. I had found dealing with people — be they friends or relatives — unpredictably tough. Sandwiched between my parents and in-laws, my emotion too had its highs and lows. Moments of clarity could follow chunks of confusion. But, through all those tranquil and torrid times, my determination to follow my dietary routine and exercises never wavered. I was unbelievably steadfast in balancing feasts with fasts and idleness with mobility. I bought a lot of expensive dresses, well-cut and flowing, and prided myself in them. I stayed slim.
Pandemic happened. Recipes crowded the YouTube listings. Women doled out never-before-heard dishes. Kids, when not running around bringing the roof down, went about relishing and demanding varieties of snacks. Everyone I knew burst out of their blouses. Amidst all the pandemonium, I was overly cautious about—you guessed it—eating. For my part, I also doled out varieties of dishes, but not for me. My family savoured every last bit. To maintain my routine, I went for long walks in nearby parks to offset all the sitting that work brought along with it. While my friends graduated to buying XL-size dresses, I stayed slim. Although I looked wistfully at the expensive dresses I had bought earlier, I saved them for wearing to work after the lockdowns.
Alas, little did I know that that ‘wearing’ was never to come. Imagine my shock when I could not bring the kameez[2]down my neck! I felt like somebody had slapped the insides of my head. My vanity went for a toss. How could I not know I was putting on weight? Wait, was it some health issue? Checkups followed. No problems there. Then, what was wrong? Had I become complacent? By now, I knew all the tricks to staying slim, and they had never let me down. What happened? Was I overconfident?
Last year, a mischievous aunt’s comment on my getting fat made matters worse. Up until then, she had never acknowledged my slim figure—not that I had expected her to, relatives being what they are. But she was quick to point out that I had grown fat and hoped there was no underlying disease. The overfamiliarity on her part, especially when she had never bothered to interact with me, filled me with disgust. But the damage was done. My expensive dresses went to charity. I started buying XLs. XXLs were in the offing too. My blouse size matched my husband’s shirt. I began exercising with greater vigour. Every morning, panting and puffing, I would jog, do floor exercises, and yoga.
One beautiful morning, I was exercising with full energy, pushing in my tummy hard, and I sighed with defeat at my fat waist and protruding tummy. When I sat down with a huff, my husband said, “Why are you torturing yourself? Don’t exercise to lose weight. Just do it to stay fit.”
A great relief engulfed me.
He said, “Do you know you look really beautiful now? Your face has broadened. That makes you look pretty. The dark circles under your eyes are vanishing so fast.”
I realised then and there: Be fat but keep fit.
[1] Flatbread
[2] Indian shirt
Shobha Sriram is a writer from Chennai and a former fellow at Amherst College, US. Her writing has appeared in print and online magazines and journals, including The Wire, The New Indian Express, Muse India, Funny Pearls UK, and others.
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