Boat Park only.
No cars or hearts
of dying stars
or interplanetary vessels
originally from Mars.
Just boats please.
No freezing icebergs
from Arctic climes,
no bottled messages,
discarded dresses,
no teasing flotsam,
thank you, ma’am.
Old ships are allowed,
The Flying Dutchman
is especially welcome,
the Marie Celeste too,
but as for the rest: the
sunken ones ought to
remain where they’ve
lain for so many years
on the gloomy seabed.
When all’s said and done,
that is best for everyone,
don’t you think so?
The boats with holes
remaining in the drink
instead of trying to park
in a spot where they
will never sink again.
This is a respectable
boat park: I will tolerate no
scandals in the dark.
Don’t bring your submarines,
hovercrafts, hydrofoils,
zodiac dinghies loaded
with gung-ho marines,
giant rubber ducks or rafts
worth forty bucks or more.
(How much is that, you want
to know? Items priced
in bucks are very deer.)
Let me make myself clear.
Boat park only.
This is no place for planes,
trains, skateboards,
sledges drawn by yetis,
so don’t turn up with any
kind of scooter
or motorbikes seating girls
named Betty.
A boat park, do you hear?
A knight riding a stallion
or a rascal in a rocket
will be denied admittance
no matter how much gold
from their pockets
they are willing to pay.
But a galleon under full sail,
bigger than a blue whale,
will only be charged a pittance
to rest and wait in the park until
other ships arrive from Spain
to escort the poor thing home:
it doesn’t want to sail the dark
remaining seas alone. That’s the
stark truth, I can’t say I blame it.
Boat park only.
Those are the written words.
The issue has been put
to the vote and
the judgement is final.
Only park boats.
No giant squid or octopuses,
no massive clams
or tide-claimed buses,
no mermaids, tritons,
pirate ghosts: no drifting pieces
of charred toast.
Boat park only
and you might
quote me on that, if you like.
Rhys Hughes has lived in many countries. He graduated as an engineer but currently works as a tutor of mathematics. Since his first book was published in 1995 he has had fifty other books published and his work has been translated into ten languages.
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